Muppet*vision 3-D (1991)

Frank Oz: Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Sam the Eagle, Construction Worker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kermit the Frog : We will also see a rousing finale from Sam the Eagle. What's it called, Sam?

  Sam the Eagle : It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America".

• Kermit the Frog : Sam, are you ready with that finale?

  Sam the Eagle : It's a glorious three-hour finale!

  Kermit the Frog : You got a minute and a half.

• Sam the Eagle : Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is my honor to present to you... Mr. Mickey Mouse!

  Rizzo the Rat : [singing to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club March]  Oh, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Hi there, welcome to my park, how'ya doin'...

  Sam the Eagle : Wait a minute! You are not Mickey Mouse! You are a rat!

  Rizzo the Rat : Rat, schmat! Besides, they're tourists. What do they know?

• [a banana cream pie comes flying out of the screen] 

  Kermit the Frog : What is that?

  Fozzie Bear : Isn't it great? It's my new remote-controlled banana cream pie. Hey Kermit... Watch this!

  [Fozzie presses a button and the remote control breaks causing the pie to spin and end up on Fozzie's face] 

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, Fozzie, that's terrible!

  Fozzie Bear : [tasting it]  Yeah, you're right... needs more sugar.

• Statler : Oh, no, it's that bear again.

  Waldorf : Hey, bear, you're not even funny in 3-D!

  [they laugh] 

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, no, not you guys. How'd you get here?

  Statler : We entered a contest.

  Waldorf : Yeah. We lost!

• Sam the Eagle : Will you stop this foolishness?

  The Great Gonzo : What foolishness would you like to see?

• Camilla : Bawk, buck, ba-gawk.

  Fozzie Bear : Hey, you're not a penguin. You're a chicken. I told you chickens to stay on the other side of the road.

  [to no one in particular] 

  Fozzie Bear : Okay, everyone, why did this chicken cross the road?

  Camilla : Ba-gawk, buck, ba-gawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, that's funny. Hey, everyone, why did the chicken cross the road?

• Kermit the Frog : And our demonstration will also include a little song from Miss Piggy...

  Miss Piggy : [irritably clearing throat]  Little?

  Kermit the Frog : Little? Did I say little? I meant to say it's a huge, showstopping, major song from Miss Piggy?

  Miss Piggy : [sweetly]  That's more like it.

• Kermit the Frog : [talking about the show]  It's going to be a swell demonstration, and at no time will we be stooping to any cheap 3D tricks.

  [Fozzie Bear enters] 

  Fozzie Bear : Did you say "cheap 3D tricks"?

  Kermit the Frog : Uh...

  [Fozzie blows a party streamer horn in the audience's direction] 

  Fozzie Bear : Ah! Oh, oh, and here's something I wanted to *spring* on you!

  [he takes out a peanut can and opens the lid. Spring snakes pop out] 

• Sam the Eagle : Upon entering the theater, please move as far to the end of the row as possible. Stopping in the middle is distinctly unpatriotic.