- It's crazy. It's outrageous. It's the television station run by a lunatic!
- It's crazy. It's zany. It's hysterical. It's television according to "Weird Al" Yankovic.
- Don't touch that dial! Channel 62 has a new station manager so desperate for ratings, he'll put anyone on the air.
- It's got adventure... intrigue... controversy... cooking utensils!
- Channel 62 needed a new station manager. But what they got was a man so desperate for ratings, he'd put anyone on the air.
- A lot of television stations have forgotten what "quality" means. But not Channel 62. They NEVER knew what it meant.
- Television the way it was meant to be seen: in a movie theater.
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