Elvira:
Y'all is the horniest bunch of white folks I ever seen!
Malaina:
I can't believe I'm making out with Jimmy Valentine.
Luanne:
If I'm not engaged by the time I'm twenty, I'm gonna kill myself.
Buzz:
Well, don't play hard to get. You might miss something.
Luanne:
Come back, they'll see you!
Carson:
What does it matter, Luanne? Your folks obviously know Pudge.
Luanne:
I'm going to tell my parents that Pudge went crazy and that she ran off and we didn't know what to do, so we called the police, and the police tracked her here to Myrtle Beach.
Carson:
Luanne, why don't we just go up there and say "This was our last weekend together, and we didn't feel like going to Fort Sumter and touring goddamn colonial homes. We wanted to go to the beach and meet boys and go to wild parties and dance." I mean why can't we tell them the truth?
Pudge:
Why can't girls ask boys to dance?
Luanne:
Furthermore, Daddy's bourbon... is strictly off limits.
Luanne:
I think somebody's been here!
Luanne:
I can't feel my teeth!
Buzz:
I'm Buzz Ravenal. Let's dance.
Carson:
I'm sorry, I'm engaged.
Buzz:
Well, I'm sorry you're engaged, too.
[
while looking for Buzz]
Harley:
Are you Fuzzy?
Maid:
You shut your filthy mouth!
Buzz:
In my opinion, marriage is just a legalized form of prostitution.
Pudge:
Stay on your diet dear, YUCK YUCK YUCK.
Chip:
Know any elephant jokes?
Pudge:
Is that a remark?
Chip:
Huh?
Pudge:
Sorry. I guess I'm just sensitive about my weight.
Chip:
What weight?
Carson:
You want me to go all the way up there, to a Yankee school, just so I can come over every weekend and practice "free love" with you?
Buzz:
Well, not every weekend.
Luanne:
Here, you'll wear my momma's hoop skirt.
Malaina:
I know how to win this thing.
Luanne:
Why Melaina! It is bad manners to think about winnin'!
Malaina:
Look Luanne! I'm not goin' to college like some people. And I sure as hell ain't marryin' a damn Ralston. And I ain't gonna die in a parish house in Spartanburg, South Carolina, thank you. Luanne, I'm as pretty as any of those girls in Hollywood. This is my chance! Jimmy Valentine's gonna discover me today, and it ain't gonna be in your mama's hoop skirt!
Luanne:
Would you at least consider wearing my one-piece bathin' suit?
Malaina:
Don't y'all think she looks just like Mary Pat Montgomery?
[
Luanne and Carson laugh]
Pudge:
Mary Pat Montgomery's the one who told me about boners.
Luanne:
Ga-rosse!
Pudge:
It isn't even a bone at all, it's a muscle. This cousin of hers dated a Clemson Tiger who sprained his in a game, and she had to massage it every night when it got hard because he was in so much pain.
Luanne:
[
laughing] And she always acted so innocent.
Luanne:
Damn,damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Every damned thing has to happen when you're in a damned hurry!
The Manager:
Have I met you before?
Malaina:
Maybe in one of your better dreams.
Buzz:
This is intimate.
Carson:
Let me out.
Buzz:
What are you doin' with that guy? I'm insulted. He's completely wrong for you.
Carson:
You don't know me, you don't love me, you sure as all damn don't want to marry me, so why don't you leave me the hell alone?
Buzz:
I don't think I can.
Carson:
Y'all 'll be going off to college soon, and I hope you don't forget me. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am.
[
cries]
Malaina:
She's wrecked her face.
Luanne:
Carson, I swear, I swear on the Bible I will write you every week from college, and so will Pudge, and so will Malaina.
Malaina:
I'm not going to college.
Carson:
Y'all really think I'm doing the right thing?
Malaina:
[
nonchalantly] Yeah, sure.
Luanne:
Of course, Harley Ralston is a wonderful man from a well rounded family, and I know you're gonna be very happy.
Malaina:
And if you're not, there's always divorce.
Luanne and Pudge:
[
disgusted] Malaina!
Malaina:
Luanne, you run out to Jimmy Valentine's limo and tell him your daddy the senator wants him to sing at the White House and bring him back to the house.
Luanne:
I will do no such thing!
Malaina:
Dammit Luanne you owe it to me, You made me lose Miss Sun Queen but I am not losing Jimmy Valentine to that tramp. And you better do it fast, or we're never gonna speak to you again, right Pudge?
Pudge:
Right.
Reverend Buller:
[
knocking] Malaina you unlock this door, you hear me?
Malaina:
[
applying lipstick in her pants and bikini top] I'm not decent, Daddy.
Reverend Buller:
You tell those girls to lay off that horn, you're not going with them.
Malaina:
Yes sir.
[
puts on her shirt]
Reverend Buller:
And you ain't fooling me with that Fort Sumter story.
Malaina:
Yes sir.
[
picks up her bag and goes out the window]
Luanne:
I want to set down some rules.
[
Pudge sits on the couch]
Luanne:
I don't want anybody sitting on the furniture.
[
Pudge gets up]
Luanne:
If you have to sit down learn to sit on the floor, also, don't anybody use the telephone.
Malaina:
Oh come on, Luanne!
Luanne:
The house is supposed to be empty, if we run up that phone bill and Daddy sees someone was here, why he'd...
Carson:
What about calling Harley?
Luanne, Malaina and Pudge:
You're not calling Harley!
Carson:
Luanne, that was our turnoff!
Luanne:
Oh damn, guess we just have to go to Myrtle Beach!
Pudge:
Carson, you look just like Jackie Kennedy.
Malaina:
I think JFK's a sweet potato.
Pudge:
Oh Malaina he's an old man, eww!
Malaina:
I don't care, I'd have an affair with him outside of marriage.
Luanne:
He's the president, Malaina. It's sacreligious.
Buzz:
You girls want a beer?
Pudge:
They don't sell beer.
Carson:
I have a soda.
Buzz:
Bartender, four Beevos.
Carson:
Okay everybody, How Mature Are You? The night before the prom your steady breaks his leg. Do you A, stay home with him and watch TV all night and let your new prom gown go to waste, or B, drag him to the prom broken leg and all and dance with his best friend?
Malaina:
Well what's the best friend look like?
Luanne:
Malaina! A, sit home and let your new prom gown go to waste.
Carson:
Luanne is mature, okay, question 2, you're at a party and your date offers you an alcoholic drink, do you A, politely refuse and ask for a soft drink?
Malaina:
Or B, get knee walking drunk and let him go to third base.
Mrs. Clatterback:
Don't wear dark lipstick.
Luanne:
Yes ma'am.
Mrs. Clatterback:
Don't stay up too late.
Luanne:
Yes ma'am.
Mrs. Clatterback:
And don't let any of the other girls drive my car!
Luanne:
Yes ma'am!
Mrs. Clatterback:
Other than that, have a good time.
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