Get Smart, Again! (1989 TV Movie)
Bernie Kopell: Conrad Siegfried, Prof. Helmut Schmelding
Quotes
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Conrad Siegfried : All right, Major, what happened? Why did we not get the Hottentot papers?
Maj. Waterhouse : Errrrr...
Conrad Siegfried : We don't ERRRRRR here!
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Larrabee : You mean you and Siegfried are triplets?
Prof. Helmut Schmelding : No, there are three of us.
Maxwell Smart : You mean to tell me that you have another brother who looks exactly like you and Siegfried?
Prof. Helmut Schmelding : No, a sister.
Larrabee : I bet she has a tough time getting dates.
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Conrad Siegfried : I am two years away from retiring and out of nowhere, KAOS is taken over by a corporate raider, a crazy man. Oh, the pressure, you have no idea what the pressure is like. I've got headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, I'm a capitalist casualty, a merger victim!
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Prof. Helmut Schmelding : [referring to Max and 99] Commander, this man und this... number are mistaken.
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Conrad Siegfried : Shtarker, this is KAOS. We don't 'Yippie-yo-ka-yah' here.
Shtarker : Forgive me, I know we don't 'Yippie-yo-ka-yah' here.
Conrad Siegfried : Occasionally a strained 'Yahoo' is alright.
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Conrad Siegfried : How is mother?
Prof. Helmut Schmelding : Why ask now? You don't care. You never call, you never write.
Hymie : How well I know that feeling...
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Conrad Siegfried : Shtarker...
Shtarker : Yeah?
Conrad Siegfried : [Stressed] Ugh... I need something for my stomach.
Shtarker : Eine Cummerbund?
Conrad Siegfried : Idiot... for the inside!