Family Matters (1989–1998)
Shawn Harrison: Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Guy in Towel
Photos
Quotes
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Steve Urkel : The woman's been flirting with me.
Waldo : She has?
Steve Urkel : Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night.
Eddie : Steve, your house was on fire!
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Judge Vance : All right, young man, call your first witness.
Steve Urkel : Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo!
Waldo : Okay, but I'm not home.
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Steve Urkel : Have you ever had a date?
Waldo : I got close once. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny.
Steve Urkel : You mean Hickey Vicky?
Waldo : Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes.
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[Waldo is being cross-examined in court]
Steve Urkel : State your name.
Waldo : Illinois.
Steve Urkel : No... state your name... not name your state.
Waldo : Oh, Waldo Faldo... from Illinois.
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Steve Urkel : [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo?
Waldo : [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. When I was with him, I felt... I felt...
[Rolls up his sleeve and begins reading]
Waldo : ... I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere.
Steve Urkel : [panicked] ... um... perhaps you mean "biosphere"?
Waldo : [after thinking a moment] Ok. Cool.
Steve Urkel : [Rushed] That's all. I'm finished with this witness, your honor!
Laura : Wait a second. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm?
Waldo : Just the stuff Steve told me to say.
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Waldo : See anything you like?
Steve Urkel : How much is that one?
Waldo : Forty bucks.
Steve Urkel : I'll give ya thirty.
Waldo : Twenty-five!
Steve Urkel : Twenty!
Waldo : Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going.
Steve Urkel : Sold!
Waldo : Sucker.
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Waldo : What are you doing, Willie?
Willie Fuffner : I'm gonna get Urkel!
Waldo : But, why ya gonna do that, Willie?
Willie Fuffner : Because, he humiliated me!
Waldo : But, you humiliate me every day.
Willie Fuffner : [sigh] That's different. You're my friend.
Waldo : Oh yeah.
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Waldo : You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. But I have feelings, too. If you cut me, do I not cough? If you hit me, do I not sneeze? And if you call me names, do I not eat?
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Waldo : No prob, Bob!
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Waldo : Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman.
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[to Steve]
Alex Phillips : How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is.
Waldo : Don't do it, Urkel! Money has germs on it.
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Steve Urkel : Have you guys seen Laura?
Eddie : Nope.
Waldo : Sure you have. Pretty girl, dark hair... your sister for God's sake!
Eddie : I meant, I haven't seen her today.
Waldo : Ohh... Cool.
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Ms. Steuben : Waldo! What a turkey!
Waldo : Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names!