- Badger: [during his confrontation with Toad] You *know* we must come to this sooner or later. You've disregarded all the warnings we've given you, and you've gone on squandering the money your father left you. You're a disgrace to all of us and to your family. You're giving us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving, and smashes, and rivals with the police. We animals *never* allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit. This is our last effort that will bring you to reason. Change your ways now, or face the consequences, which I promise you will *not* be pleasant!
- [repeated line]
- Badger: Some say there is a being, kindly, benevolent, whose heartbeat is all nature, and whose embrace protects small animals everywhere. Piper, Pan, call him what you will.
- Ratty: If you believe me, my young friend, there is nothing - absolutely nothing, half so worth doing as - simply messing around in boats!
- Mr. Toad: [singing] Whether a Ford or a Ferrari, whatever I can get to carry me near or far, just give me any car. I love to ride the Tar, an old Excalibar; yes, any motor car. And I'll be happy - ho-ho! Messing around in cars!
- Badger: Toad, you should be delighted - that I'll have three permanent house guests who'll take turns being with you night and day.
- Mr. Toad: My friends... the Toad has come home. There was smashing of the windows and crashing of the doors. There was crying of the weasels that fainted on the floor when the Toad came home. Shout "Hooray" - for Mr. Toad. Sound your horns, fire the cannons, shout "Hooray", for it's Toad's grrrrreat day!
- Mr. Toad: As penance, I shall build you a new boat. An-and wear the washerwoman's dress to the end of my miserable day.
- [seeing the hatrack empty, but still peering around it]
- Mr. Toad: Hello, where is it? I-I left it hanging right here.
- Ratty: The dress? Oh, Mole took it out before.
- Mr. Toad: Mole? Really? Hm, didn't think him the type.
- Moley: [as Ratty starts digging snow away to reveal Badger's doorscraper] Wha - what're you doin'? My leg *hurts*!
- Ratty: [stops digging when he sees half the doorscraper] Oh, ha-ha! Bravo!
- [starts dancing triumphantly]
- Ratty: Aha - bra - vo, I found whatcha tripped over!
- Moley: *What*? Ho - how?
- Ratty: [digging more snow to reveal the other half of the doorscraper] Look, see? It's a doorscraper.
- Moley: A what?
- Ratty: Used to scrape mud off the boots.
- Mr. Toad: [sitting in his prison cell, moping] Ohhh - Oh no, that's the end of everything. Or at least the end of my career, which is the same thing. I should have listened to my friends.
- [starts sobbing]
- Mr. Toad: Oh! Oh wise old Badger, uh - oh clever, intelligent Rat, oh sensible Mole - oh stupid, unhappy, and forsaken Toad! Who was once so free, so careless, an-and so debonair!
- [continues sobbing until the jailer and his daughter appear at his cell door]
- Ratty: [rummaging through the wagon for pate de foie gras] Not only is there not any pate de foie gras, there's no champagne!
- [peering out the wagon door towards Toad, calls to him accusingly]
- Ratty: [scoffs] *You* have forgotten everything!
- Mr. Toad: Oh, surely there's *something*.
- Moley: There's *nothing*!
- Ratty: It would be easier to say what we *don't* have.
- Mr. Toad: [as he vivaciously drives the motorcar he stole previously, laughs] Washerwoman indeed! I am the toad! The car snatcher, the prison breaker, the toad who always escapes! Sit still, and you'll know what driving *really* is!
- Badger: Tonight, we'll make our way throught the tunnel, bypass the sentries, and come up on the pantry next to the dining hall.
- Mr. Toad: The squeaky board in the pantry.
- Badger: Right. And thanks to Mole, they'll be thinking that *hundreds* are attacking. We'll clear them out of Toad Hall in five minutes.
- Ratty: What good is poetry when everybody's moving on? Hm - everyone but me. And to think, a road goes past my very door, and I only know a mile or two of it.
- Moley: Ratty... Ratty?
- Ratty: [yawning twice] It's time for a nap.
- Moley: [stutters as Ratty yawns twice again] But I uh, uh, uh, before you slip off, uh-uh... uh, Ratty?
- Ratty: [mildly annoyed] Huh? What is it?
- Moley: Couldn't we invite Badger over? I-I haven't met him yet.
- Ratty: I've told you a thousand times...
- [yawns]
- Ratty: he'd never come.
- Moley: Oh uh, Ratty, Ratty?
- Ratty: [more annoyed than before] Uh... wha--*what*?
- Moley: But suppose we call on *him*?
- Ratty: *Nooooo*! He hates company, society invitations, all that sort of...
- [yawns briefly, as he curls into a fetal position]
- Ratty: thing.
- Moley: Well, we could chance it.
- [clearing his throat]
- Moley: All he could do is turn us out.
- Ratty: [irritated as he rises to ultimately warn Moley in an arm-flailing manner] He lives in the middle Wild Wood, and nobody would *dare* the Terror of the Wild Wood at this time of year.
- Moley: [trying to retreat back] But, but uh...
- Ratty: It's a long way, and *much* too dangerous!
- Ratty: [glancing toward Badger's doormat] Look. A doormat.
- Moley: So - can we eat a doormat, or can we sleep under a doormat, or ride home in the snow on it, you exasperating rodent?
- Ratty: [sneeringly] Doesn't it tell you anything?
- Moley: Whoever heard of a doormat telling - ?
- Ratty: Not another word, you thick-headed beast. Dig.
- [he and Moley dig snow around Badger's home till it all collapses to reveal his home]
- Moley: [observing Toad's confrontation with Badger] Toad's skin is hanging like an old leather bag. His legs are wobbling. He's down on his knees. He's crying. His cheeks are furrowed with tears. He's re-penting!
- Ratty: [voiceover] My new friend, Mole, had entered into the joy of running water, and for the first time in his life he heard the sound of the wind in the reeds and willows.
- Mr. Toad: Is something bothering you chaps?
- Badger: You will come with me into the library. You will hear the hard facts about yourself.
- [grabs Toad in one arm, then advances toward the library door and opens it]
- Badger: We'll see if you come out of that room in the same Toad as you went in. Brother Toad, sit down.
- [tosses Toad onto a chair]
- Mr. Toad: Ow!
- Badger: Prepare to repent for your follies.
- Mr. Toad: [singing] When I'm messing around in cars, the world is apple pie. When I'm messing around in cars, I'm quite another guy. When I'm messing around in cars, when I'm messing around in cars, I'm in the stars when I'm messing around... around in caaaaaars! Ho-ho, let's go!
- Ratty: The snow's changed everything!
- [scoffs]
- Ratty: I don't recognize a thing.
- Moley: [shivering] Well... actually, it - it's a bit late to call on Badger. And Rat, we'd better head back home.
- Ratty: And what makes you think that we can *find* our way home?
- [scoffs again]
- Ratty: We're lost, my friend! Lost...!
- [echos]
- Ratty: [to Badger] Do you suppose we're being too hard on Toad? He's been locked up in that room for weeks. And now he's taken to his bed; he won't eat, hardly says a word...
- Badger: He's weakening. In a few more weeks, he'll be reformed. Keep a keen eye on him, Ratty, while we do the marketing. Come along, Moley.
- Ratty: [his boat perched atop a tree] You ought to be arrested, Toad!
- Moley: [after coming out from his hole, he ducks back inside, blinded by the day light] Oh... oh, my eyes.
- Ratty: What's wrong down there?
- Moley: It's - it's the day light. I've never seen it before.
- Ratty: Never?
- [he and his boat fall from the tree when a green bird takes flight from it; he and his boat crash next to Moley's hole]
- Ratty: Ahh, ooh, unh!
- Moley: [covering himself with leaves while escaping from the ghosts of Wild Wood creatures] Now I know what Ratty meant by the Terror of the Wild Wood.
- Moley: [as he and Ratty slide down what turns out to be Badger's roof, he trips what later appears to be his doorscraper] Ow! Oh, my le - g!
- Ratty: [hearing Moley's cry for help, he stops sliding and climbs back up to Moley to investigate his leg] Let me look at that. Your cut... it looks as if... that was made by the edge of something metal.
- Moley: Well, never mind what's done it; it hurts just the same, whatever's done it.
- Badger: [to the weasels, who are mopping the banquet hall to prepare for Toad's victory banquet] And make sure you get it spotless; everything must be just so for Toad's victory banquet.
- Mr. Toad: But why must I have a banquet?
- Badger: It's expected of you; it's the rule!
- Mr. Toad: It's short-noticed. But I can whip up an interesting program, I'm sure.
- [chuckles briefly]
- Mr. Toad: I could give several speeches, of course.
- Moley: [as he and Badger shake their heads] No.
- Mr. Toad: An address on our prison system?
- [Ratty shakes his head]
- Mr. Toad: A lecture on the techniques of escaping?
- Badger: No speeches.
- Mr. Toad: Just one little speech?
- Ratty: *No*! Your speeches are all conceit and *boasting*, and...
- Badger: And gas.
- Mr. Toad: Oh, I know then, a short song.
- [Badger, Ratty, and Moley shake their heads in unison]
- Mr. Toad: Ah, very well. In sport, I - I will be a very different toad. But oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh, this is a haaaard world...
- [telephone rings during Badger's "I Hate Company" number]
- Badger: Yes, yes, yes? How delightful. How terribly kind. How thoughtful. Dinner Friday? No, I have previous plans. On Friday, I'm dining ALONE!
- [hangs up with a slam]
- Badger: We're attacking Toad Hall tonight.
- Mr. Toad: Right! Oh! Oh, with armies, and navies, and...
- Badger: No, no, no, just *ourselves*.
- Mr. Toad: [sadly] A bit of a comedown on that. Hmm. We'll never get past the sentries.
- Ratty: We are *not* going PAST them! We are going unnnnnder them.
- Moley: Gonna use the secret tunnel to Toad Hall.
- Mr. Toad: Splendid idea!