Stakeout (1987)
Richard Dreyfuss: Chris Lecce
Photos
Quotes
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Chris Lecce : [Chris and Bill are whiling away the time playing trivia questions] Okay, I got one, name the 16th President
Bill Reimers : I don't know
Chris Lecce : Here's a hint...
Bill Reimers : Abraham Lincoln.
Bill Reimers : [His questions are identifying quotes] Okay, "This was no boating accident!"
Chris Lecce : No idea
Bill Reimers : Man, you suck at this
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Chris Lecce : [whilst searching Maria's house, Chris holds up a newspaper clipping about Montgomery] Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris
Bill Reimers : Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris
Chris Lecce : [Chris continues his search]
Chris Lecce : Ah - we have a letter. 'Dear Maria, I hear you are doing okay. I hear you are seeing a couple of guys. Sometimes I get so mad I could wipe out the entire world, and enjoy myself doing it'. Now how could she have dumped a charmer like him?
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[on the phone with Bill while at Maria's place]
Chris Lecce : I'll be about half an hour.
Bill Reimers : Where are my donuts you prick?
Chris Lecce : Maybe more.
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[in checkout]
Cashier : [looks at one of Chris's items and sort of scolds] Eating between meals.
Chris Lecce : [mimicking] Eating between meals.
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Bill Reimers : [seeing Phil and Jack leave, laughing about something] Yeah, I smell a rat, they are up to something. I don't know what it is, but they are up to something. I'm going to find out what it is
[he raises binoculars to his eyes, lowers them, then turns to Chris]
Bill Reimers : Do you know what it is?
Chris Lecce : [casually, with a straight face] Yeah, I think I have a pretty good idea
Chris Lecce : What, what, tell me?
Bill Reimers : [Turns at Chris' gesture, and sees that ink coating the rims of the binoculars is now around each eye, making him look like a racoon] Son of a bitch! Christ, I'm gonna *kill* 'em!
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Bill Reimers : [looking in the refrigerator] I don't believe this. They ate all the food and left dog turds in the fridge.
Chris Lecce : Don't worry. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers : Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce : Anything else?
Bill Reimers : Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce : Why not? We *are* cops.
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[Reading the police profile on Maria McGuire]
Bill Reimers : And, the moment we've all been waiting for... 313 pounds.
Chris Lecce : 313 pounds? Let me see that.
Bill Reimers : I would imagine that's fully clothed.
Chris Lecce : Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!
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Bill Reimers : [during an argument about who killed Kennedy, Bill checks the fridge] Those bastards. They ate everything and left us a dog turd.
Chris Lecce : Ralph Warren left us a dog turd?
Bill Reimers : No, Phil and Jack. I am gonna get those guys. I don't know how, but I will.
Chris Lecce : Give me the keys. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers : Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce : Anything else?
Bill Reimers : Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce : Why not? We're cops.
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Bill Reimers : What the hell did we do to deserve this?
Chris Lecce : I think it was that stripper we sent to the captain on his birthday.
Bill Reimers : I told you we should have sent the woman.
Chris Lecce : Yeah, I think you're right. I screwed up.
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Bill Reimers : What are you gonna do about her?
Chris Lecce : Oh, man, I... I think I love her. I really do.
Bill Reimers : Well, I'd hate to think that you risked it all just because you liked her.
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Bill Reimers : [after Chris comes back from bugging Maria's phone and snooping around her room] What the hell were you doin'?
Chris Lecce : What do you mean, what was I doin'? I was putting in a bug, for crying out loud.
Bill Reimers : Oh, really? Is that what that was? Huh? Well I don't call goin' through that woman's drawers *puttin' in a goddam bug*.
Chris Lecce : Oh, calm down. Don't blow a bowel, okay? For crying out loud. I thought I saw something in her bureau that would tell us whether or not she talked to Montgomery.
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Chris Lecce : [in the Captain's office, after the FBI agent has explained what they'd like the police to do] Wait a second. Wait a second.
[laughs]
Chris Lecce : Excuse me Captain. There's something a little ripe here. Let me - Let me ask you a question. What you're asking is that you'd like us to sit on our butts... on some low priority shit detail... on the off chance that we're gonna run across some *bad people*. And then what are we supposed to do? We're supposed to give you a jingle... so that you can make the arrest and gets the keys to the city?
[laughs]
Chris Lecce : Excuse me, Captain. I'm sorry. I don't like to sound negative, but this is bullshit. I'm a cop. You understand me? I'm not a security guard. I see some *bad people*... I'm gonna be a little too busy to, uh, make a phone call.
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Bill Reimers : But I would appreciate that you not act like a walking hard on while we're working together.
[leaves room]
Bill Reimers : Excuse me.
Chris Lecce : Succinctly put.
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Chris Lecce : Problem?
