The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
Mackenzie Astin: Dodger
Photos
Quotes
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Captain Manzini : Did you get the blood of a toad and the eye of a newt?
Dodger : Nope. The pet shop's out of unicorns, too.
Captain Manzini : No wonder there's no magic in the world today. You can't get the ingredients.
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Dodger : [starting work unloading a crate] Do you sell much of this stuff? We've only had two customers and they didn't buy anything.
Captain Manzini : Patience is a bitter vine, dear Dodger, but it bears sweet fruit.
Dodger : Huh?
Captain Manzini : That's from the Greek. It loses a little something in translation. Now, let's add a little sparkle to our merchandise.
[hands Dodger a feather duster]
Captain Manzini : Funny people should call this junk, isn't it? When every piece is a diary of the human spirit.
[holds book, looks at inside cover]
Captain Manzini : Take this, for instance. "To my darling Mary, from Herbert." This is more than a book. It's a testimony to love.
Dodger : [holds up teddy bear] And this?
Captain Manzini : Ah, did the child who slept with this grow up to shake the world?
Dodger : [hands Manzini a fold-out fan] Tell me about this, Captain Manzini
Captain Manzini : Ah, an early form of air conditioning.
[waves folded-out fan in Dodger's face]
Captain Manzini : Also, a tool of romance. It could beckon...
[holds fan up to own face and waves toward it]
Captain Manzini : ... or rebuff.
[folds up fan, taps Dodger on the shoulder with it]
Dodger : Did you ever get beckoned?
Captain Manzini : Yes. I also got rebuffed. But like me, this is a relic from a simpler age, when good and bad was black-and-white. And a man could settle all his differences with one of these.
[holds up fencing sword, hands it to Dodger]
Captain Manzini : Then some damn fool invented gunpowder, and a bigger damn fool split the atom. That's when I decided to leave mankind to it's folly and retire here. Into this world of memories
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Captain Manzini : [handing Dodger something to replace his dirty clothes] Here, try this on.
Dodger : A dress?
Captain Manzini : Only to western eyes. This is a dashiki, given to me by the great African leader Um-Tuh-Tuh, in gratitude for making his mother-in-law disappear.
Dodger : You were in Africa?
Captain Manzini : Actually, I was on my way back from Egypt. I was doing a split week, Cleveland and Cairo. But that's a long story.
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Dodger : [to the Garbage Pail Kids] I don't think you're ugly, exactly.
Valerie Vomit : You wanna suck face?
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Dodger : I don't think you're pretty anymore, Tangerine.