The Bill (1984–2010)

Lisa Maxwell: DS Samantha Nixon, Acting DI Samantha Nixon, DI Samantha Nixon, Denise Stubbs

Quotes 

• DCI Jack Meadows : So, d'ya fancy a drink?

  DI Samantha Nixon : Yeah!

  DCI Jack Meadows : Shall we ask the Super?

  DI Samantha Nixon : Nah...

• DS Phil Hunter : Why are attics always full of rubbish?

  DS Samantha Nixon : Mine's quite tidy actually.

  DS Phil Hunter : Well, you're a freak.

  DS Samantha Nixon : That's very kind of you

• DC Rob Thatcher : Nixon's been looking for you.

  DS Phil Hunter : Oh, yeah? What'd ya say?

  DC Rob Thatcher : I said I didn't know where you were.

  DS Phil Hunter : Nice one! Yeah, even Ken would've done better than that!

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : DS Hunter! My office now!... I said now!... Where have you been? And don't try telling me it's to do with the Brewer case.

  DS Phil Hunter : No, I slipped out.

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You slipped out? For over two hours? What's going on?

  DS Phil Hunter : It's personal.

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Oh, is it? When I assign you to an investigation, I expect you to just get on with it, not go swanning around to goodness knows where!

  DS Phil Hunter : It was important.

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : This job is important. Now I'm under pressure to get results here!

  DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, well, so am I... Look, I apologise for not consulting you first, all right? Can I go back and do some work?

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Well, if it's not too much trouble!

• Acting DI Samantha Nixon : I want results...

  DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, well, I was thinking along those sorta lines as well...

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Well, pull your finger out! And stop skiving!

• Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Err, today would be nice.

  DS Phil Hunter : I dunno about you, but I'm pretty sure I won't miss being bossed around by Miss Desperate-To-Be-An-Inspector Nixon.

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : I heard that!

  DS Phil Hunter : Yes, of course ya did. With those supernatural senses she would've been dunked a few years back... Witch!

• DI Samantha Nixon : Good night.

  PC Nate Roberts : Oh, Ma'am!

  DI Samantha Nixon : Eurgh, so close! Yes?

  PC Nate Roberts : You're needed down the Grape and Bottle.

  DI Samantha Nixon : You mean the Seven Bells.

  PC Nate Roberts : No.

  DI Samantha Nixon : Is this... Is this some sort of, weird way of asking me out?

  PC Nate Roberts : No, it's, erm... there's been a serious assault.

  DI Samantha Nixon : Well, I'm sorry, Nate, I knocked off about an hour ago.

  PC Nate Roberts : Yeah, sorry. It's just, they specifically asked for a, senior, CID officer.

  DI Samantha Nixon : Right. OK, tell them I'm on my way. And err, by the way, there are people up there much older than me.

• Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You've made my mind up for me. I want you to act as Family Liaison Officer to the Weavers.

  DS Phil Hunter : You what?

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You heard.

  DS Phil Hunter : Guv, I'm hardly tea-and-sympathy material, am I?

  DC Rob Thatcher : He's not wrong there, Guv.

  DS Phil Hunter : See? Can't you get Eva to do it?

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Look. I know you've got all the listening skills and empathy of a breeze-block, Phil, but that's not what's needed here. Weaver's up to his neck in all sorts, and some of his associates will've lost a lot of money when Joel Brewer decided not to throw that fight, so if we wanna find that little girl, we need to know who Weaver's wound up. And how nasty they are. And as you're our expert in all things nasty... low... devious...

  DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, thanks very much.

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You're welcome... Shift your arse.

  DC Rob Thatcher : [laughs] 

  DC Rob Thatcher : Wipe that smile off your face, Constable!

• Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Problems, Phillip?

  DS Phil Hunter : You don't wanna know.

  Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You're damn right I don't wanna know!

• DS Samantha Nixon : Happy New Year. Are you OK?

  DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, why shouldn't I be? Listen, I've been dumped by better women than you.

  DS Samantha Nixon : No, you haven't.

• DC Jo Masters : Is this the same Henderson family that I read about?

  DS Samantha Nixon : Sun Hill's famous lottery winners?

  DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, turns out they really do have money to burn...

• DI Samantha Nixon : Is this the place?

  DC Jacob Banks : Tom Norris' agent said he was doing a lunchtime gig.

  DI Samantha Nixon : Lunchtime stripping... My life's clearly far too tame... I normally just fancy a sandwich...

• DI Samantha Nixon : No, no. Go on. What's wrong with it?

  DC Jacob Banks : Nothing as such, Guv, but it's quite a list to wade through. If you want it to read better, you could break it up with some semicolons. They're...

  DI Samantha Nixon : Yeah, little commas with dots on the top, yeah, I know what they are, Banksy.

  DC Jacob Banks : Right, well, I wasn't suggesting that you don't...

  DI Samantha Nixon : I'd like to see you try this with Jack Meadows!

  DC Jacob Banks : That'd be Jack 'No Spell Check' Meadows?

  DI Samantha Nixon : I knew it was a mistake bringing a teacher into the department.

  PC Millie Brown : Excuse me, Ma'am. Can I just have a word with Banksy?

  DI Samantha Nixon : Only if you put your hand up first.