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30 September 1982Diane is stranded at the bar by her fiancé', who has reunited with his ex-wife. Sam feels sorry for her, and offers her a job at the bar.
7 October 1982Sam is worried that Diane thinks he only dates dumb women, so he tries to impress her with his latest one.
14 October 1982Carla attacks an especially obnoxious Yankee fan after they beat the Red Sox. He threatens to sue the bar unless Carla is fired.
21 October 1982Sam is to be interviewed for a sports segment on the evening news. What he doesn't realize is that he was only chosen because all the big-name players weren't available.
28 October 1982Coach is distressed when his daughter, an insecure spinster, comes to town to introduce him to her boorish, obnoxious fiancé'.
4 November 1982One of Diane's old college friends comes to the bar. She is vulnerable and looking for a man to give her an afternoon of unbridled passion, and Sam predictably jumps at the opportunity.
11 November 1982Norm's workplace party at Cheers is a miserable failure--so he tries to set up Diane as his boss's "date" for the evening.
18 November 1982Carla tells Diane a shocking secret about her relationship with Sam. It's an outright lie, but Carla does it just to prove that Diane can't keep a secret and will never be her real friend.
25 November 1982Coach wants to ask out an attractive younger woman, but he doesn't have the guts. Sam sets his sights on her too, but he keeps getting shot down--badly.
2 December 1982Sam loans out his good luck charm to a slumping Red Sox pitcher. The pitcher immediately goes on a winning streak, but Sam begins experiencing a series of accidents.
9 December 1982Two unlikely customers enter the bar: One is an 80+ year old who is the only arrival for his WWI squad's reunion, and the other is an awkward virgin looking for a night of drinking and fun before he becomes a monk.
16 December 1982An Englishman enters the bar claiming to be a spy, but Diane exposes him as a fraud. Everyone is mad at her for humiliating him just to show off her own intellect, until he plays a joke on her.
6 January 1983Sam becomes a commercial spokesperson and becomes romantically involved his agent. But things become complicated when he wants to break off the romance.
13 January 1983Diane becomes upset with everyone at the bar when nobody shows any sympathy after she learns that her family cat has died.
20 January 1983Carla tries to trick a nerdy M.I.T. professor into believing that he's the father of her baby, so that he will support it.
27 January 1983When Sam publicly supports an old teammate who has come out of the closet, Norm and the gang are afraid that "Cheers" will become a "gay bar."
10 February 1983Sam and Diane agree to find blind dates dates for each other. Diane takes it seriously, but Sam doesn't--assuming that Diane's plan is to set him up with herself. Therefore, he finds a disastrous date for her at the last minute.
Season 1, Episode 18: No Contest
17 February 1983Diane reluctantly enters the Miss Boston Barmaid contest, but only so she can publicly denounce the competition as sexist and chauvinistic.
24 February 1983When Sam learns that a conman has taken thousands of dollars from Coach, he turns to Harry "The Hat" to help them get the money back.
3 March 1983Diane's has to get married within ten years of her father's death, or her mother loses her fortune. But there's one problem: she's only just learned of this fact, and the ten-year deadline is tomorrow.
24 March 1983Sam's brother, whom he feels inferior to, shows up at the bar and sweeps Diane off her feet. Sam doesn't want her to go off with him because he wants her for himself, but he doesn't have the guts to admit it.
31 March 1983Diane is still involved with Sam's brother, but she confesses that she is in love with Sam. So she returns to the bar to give him one last chance to admit that he loves her too.
Season 2, Episode 1: Power Play
29 September 1983Sam and Diane's new relationship together gets off to a shaky start, which comes as no surprise to anyone at the bar.
13 October 1983Cliff falls head over heels for Carla's innocent-looking younger sister, who is sitting in for Carla while she has her baby. But what Cliff doesn't know is that she isn't as innocent as she looks.
20 October 1983Diane decides to find a new job because Carla now thinks Sam is playing favorites for his new girlfriend. But finding a job is harder than it seems.
27 October 1983Against Sam's better judgment, Diane tries to help her former homicidal blind date Andy become an actor.
3 November 1983Diane doesn't tell Sam that she is going out to dinner with her ex-fiancé Sumner and his wife, because she thinks he will embarrass her if he comes along.
10 November 1983Sam and Diane try to stop Carla from sleeping with her new boyfriend after they learn that he has a heart condition.
Season 2, Episode 7: Old Flames
17 November 1983Sam's old broadcaster buddy, Dave, predicts that Sam and Diane will be broken up in the next 24 hours. Then, he sets out to make sure that it happens.
24 November 1983Coach becomes a youth league baseball coach. But his competitive nature turns him from lovable guy to angry tyrant.
1 December 1983Dick Cavett encourages Sam to write a book about his playing days, and Diane helps him do it. Meanwhile, Norm's old rival for Vera wants to make a move on her now that she and Norm are separated.
8 December 1983After Sam throws out a careless "I love you," he and Diane decide to take some time off to evaluate their relationship.
15 December 1983Sam thinks Diane's oldest and best friend is hitting on him. Diane knows better, but becomes paranoid after Carla eggs her on.
22 December 1983A dying man wants to leave $100,000 in his will to the gang at Cheers. But everybody fights over how much money each person will get.
5 January 1984Sam agrees to be Carla's date for her ex-husband Nick's wedding. And Sam's appearance makes Nick jealous, and causes him to ask Carla to take him back.
12 January 1984Sam hires a still-unemployed Norm to be his accountant, but the tax return he prepares for the bar could ultimately destroy their friendship.
19 January 1984Sam and Diane are tired of Coach being a third wheel and interrupting their alone time, so they set him up on a date.
26 January 1984A man in the bar becomes sick of Cliff's obnoxious know-it-all behavior and challenges him to a fight. Will Cliff shut up, accept the challenge, or run away?
2 February 1984Carla has everyone convinced that the bar's new fortune-telling machine can predict the future. But does that include Diane's fortune that seems to indicate that her relationship with Sam could be in trouble?
Season 2, Episode 18: Snow Job
9 February 1984Sam says he's going to Vermont for a funeral, but Diane knows he's really going on a ski weekend with his buddies. And Cliff gets jealous of Norm's new friendship with another guy.
16 February 1984Coach accidentally finds out that his recently-deceased friend once made a pass at his wife.
23 February 1984Norm considers cheating on Vera with a sexy new client who apparently has the hots for him.
3 May 1984A jealous Diane agrees to have have her portrait taken by an arrogant, eccentric artist, even though Sam can't stand the guy and forbids her to do it.
10 May 1984Diane follows through with getting her portrait painted behind Sam's back. But the artist predicts that if she shows it to Sam, she will never see him again.
27 September 1984Sam falls off the wagon and Diane has a nervous breakdown after the breakup. But after she's cured, Diane returns to Cheers to recommend her psychiatrist--Dr. Frasier Crane--to help Sam. But she doesn't say that she's involved with him.
4 October 1984Diane tells Sam that she's seeing Frasier. Then, they both confess that they no longer have feelings for each other, even though both suspect the other is lying. And since the feelings are supposedly gone, Diane takes her job back.
18 October 1984Frasier tells Sam that the girlfriend of one his "clients" called out another man's name in bed, but Sam knows he's talking about Diane. Meanwhile, Cliff is afraid to tell a burly colleague that he's the fellow mailman who got him fired.
25 October 1984Cliff meets the woman of his dreams at the bar on Halloween night but is afraid of meeting her when he's not in costume, and Sam and Diane have their first non-romantic outing together after the breakup.
1 November 1984Sam accidentally shoots himself in the rear end after a confrontation with a jealous husband, but he changes the story when he tells it to the bar to make himself look like a hero.
8 November 1984Coach falls in love and gets engaged. But when his fiancée wins the lottery, her feelings toward him take an unexpected turn.
15 November 1984Coach's fiancée calls off the wedding and dumps him. But he's convinced that it's not over and that she will come back to him on their wedding day.
22 November 1984Diane tries to make a good impression on Frasier's mother. But after their first meeting, Frasier's mother warns Diane that if she continues to see Frasier, that she will kill her.
29 November 1984Carla tries to stand up to Nick when he demands custody of their first-born son, which means not giving in to his surprisingly irresistible charm.
6 December 1984Diane claims to be allergic to Frasier's dog after they move in together, but Sam and Frasier know her allergies are psychosomatic. Meanwhile, the guys at the bar shower Carla with a series of gag birthday gifts.
13 December 1984After a health scare, Norm gives up his old life and says he's moving to Bora Bora. However, he chickens out at the last minute and hides out in Sam's office. Meanwhile, Carla becomes depressed after losing a tip wager with Diane.
20 December 1984Diane warns Sam not to go out with a friend she met at the mental hospital because she has obsessive issues with men. But Sam doesn't heed the warning, and puts himself in a situation that he's afraid to get out of.
Season 3, Episode 13: Whodunit?
3 January 1985Much to Frasier's horror, his psychiatry mentor becomes involves with Carla and asks her to marry him. But she doesn't want to, even though she has just found out that she is pregnant with his baby.
10 January 1985Diane gets mad at the guys when she finds out that they took Frasier on a "snipe hunt." But she also doesn't want them to tell Frasier that they played a trick on him.
24 January 1985After his shameful performance in a charity softball game against a team of Playboy Playmates, Diane confronts Sam about his over-competitive nature.
31 January 1985Sam gets Coach's help to help him pass a geography class and get his high school diploma. But he eventually finds an easier way to pass the course.
7 February 1985Norm gets in trouble with the law after he helps Cliff out by finishing his mail route, and Cliff hangs him out to dry. Meanwhile, Diane gets stuck underneath the bar while trying to check the heating system.
Season 3, Episode 18: Bar Bet
14 February 1985Sam has to find a woman named Jacqueline Bisset and marry her so that he can win a bet he made when he was off the wagon and keep the bar.
21 February 1985Sam makes plans for a romantic getaway with a local journalist. But Diane overhears parts of his conversations and jumps to the incorrect conclusion that he is making plans to spend the weekend with her.
28 February 1985After Loretta dumps Nick, he performs odd jobs around the bar for Sam in an effort to try to win Carla back.
7 March 1985Norm gets a promotion as a "corporate killer," but he's not sure that he can handle being the guy at the office who fires people.
11 April 1985Diane announces that she is leaving Cheers forever to go to Europe with Frasier.
18 April 1985Sam hires a waitress that Carla considers to be a perfect replacement for Diane: she's smart, talented and charming, and Sam doesn't want to sleep with her. But then her sexy daughter shows up at the bar and potentially ruins everything.
2 May 1985Carla believes that one of her customers is her old evil Catholic school principal, and she wants to get revenge on her. Meanwhile, Cliff claims to be receiving love letters from a woman he met on his Florida vacation.
Season 3, Episode 25: Rescue Me
9 May 1985Diane calls Sam to tell him that she is marrying Frasier tomorrow, and Sam flies to Italy at the last minute to stop the wedding.
26 September 1985Sam couldn't stop the wedding, but Frasier tells him that Diane left him at the altar and is now working at a convent. So Sam visits Diane to ask her to come back to Cheers. Meanwhile, Woody replaces Coach and become Cheers's new bartender.
3 October 1985The gang at Cheers flies Woody's old girlfriend in from Indiana to visit, and it becomes obvious that when they're together they use binge eating to curb their sexual urges. Meanwhile, Frasier takes a job at Cheers to make Diane feel guilty.
17 October 1985Through a strange twist of fate, Diane meets a cultured, intelligent man who appears to be perfect for her. But she eventually wants to dump him because she thinks he's not attractive enough for her.
24 October 1985Sam accidentally convinces Carla's son Anthony to get married, Cliff is convinced that he's grown a potato that looks like Richard Nixon, and Diane blows her opportunity to get a part-time position at the university.
31 October 1985Diane dreams that "Andy Andy" has escaped form a mental institution and is coming to kill her. But when she wakes from her nightmare, "Andy Andy" shows up at the bar to ask a favor.
7 November 1985Sam loans Diane $500 to buy a book autographed by Ernest Hemmingway. She later gives the book to Sam as collateral until she pays back the loan, but Sam accidentally destroys it.
14 November 1985The guys at the bar feel sorry for Carla because nobody has responded to her newspaper singles ad. So they start sending her romantic responses from a fictional airline pilot.
21 November 1985Norm's neighbor tells him that she suspects that Vera is having an affair with her husband, and Sam must apologize for degrading Diane on a call-in radio show.
28 November 1985After suffering a humiliating loss to Gary's Olde Town Tavern in softball, the gang at Cheers challenges their rivals to a bowling tournament.
5 December 1985Cliff bonds with his long-lost father until he learns the real reason why he came back to see him. Meanwhile, Sam suspects that Diane intentionally sabotaged his date with a smart, cultured woman.
12 December 1985Diane uses Sam as a case study for a paper in her Human Sexuality class, but she paints an unflattering picture of him. Meanwhile, Woody challenges Carla to a sports trivia contest, and Cliff grows a unique squash.
19 December 1985Sam's good intentions backfire on him when he doesn't place a risky $1,000 bet for Woody with his bookie, only to have Woody win his bet.
9 January 1986Sam donates his old Red Sox jersey for a public television auction, but is humiliated when nobody bids on it.
Season 4, Episode 14: Suspicion
16 January 1986Diane plays a prank on the guys in the bar, but she becomes paranoid as she waits for their inevitable payback.
23 January 1986Diane convinces Sam to go to Frasier with fake depression symptoms so that Frasier can analyze him and get his confidence back as a psychiatrist. But Frasier comes back with a diagnosis that Sam's depressed because he's still in love with Diane.
30 January 1986Diane rejects Cliff's request to be his date for the postman's ball, so he asks Carla, who will go with him--for a price. But what will he do when Diane reconsiders and decides to go with him?
6 February 1986Sam sets up Frasier with one of his young bimbos. The day after their first date, Frasier announces that they are getting married--today.
13 February 1986Norm is up for a promotion at work when he finds out that his competitor is having an affair with their boss' wife. Will he use this helpful bit of information to guarantee that he gets the job?
20 February 1986Sam suffers a hernia while trying to prove that he's not getting too old.
27 February 1986Carla turns to Sam as a partner to go up against Nick and Loretta in a dance competition.
13 March 1986Sam and Diane have a harrowing near-death experience as passengers on a plane flown by one of Diane's ex-lovers.
20 March 1986The guys at the bar feel guilty for constantly teasing Diane and not inviting her to their gatherings, so they try to make up by taking her to her favorite opera.
27 March 1986Sam hires a new bartender and appoints himself as host/manager of Cheers. But when his new strategy goes belly-up and he is forced to return to the bar, somebody has to be fired.
1 May 1986Sam begins dating a city Councilwoman who is running for reelection, but Diane is convinced that she is just using him and will dump him after she is reelected.
8 May 1986Councilwoman Eldridge tells Sam to fire Diane because she's insecure about having one of Sam's former lovers working at the bar. However, Diane accidentally overhears the conversation and tries to beat him to the punch.
15 May 1986Councilwoman Eldridge presses Sam for a marriage proposal, but Sam remains noncommittal. She then dumps Sam after he and Diane create a scene at her press conference. The incident leads Sam to a proposal--but to whom?
25 September 1986Diane will not accept Sam's proposal over the telephone because she wants him to do it right. So he sets up the perfect romantic evening, only to have Diane reject the proposal.
2 October 1986Sam refuses to accept Diane's reconsideration of his proposal, and brags to her about a romantic weekend he has planned in Cape Cod. Diane follows him up there, and Sam doesn't want her to know that his date had to leave early.
9 October 1986Cliff sees dollar signs in his future when he successfully schemes to get his mom engaged to a wealthy bar patron. However, his plan soon backfires when his future father-in-law announces that he's giving his fortune away to charity.
16 October 1986Diane thinks that Frasier is masking romantic feelings for his colleague, Dr. Lilith Sternin, so she launches a plan to fan the flames of love. Meanwhile, Norm and Cliff reluctantly join Woody for a fishing trip.
30 October 1986Carla finds out that the new house she bought was built on top of a 17th century prison graveyard. Cliff comes over to help her spend her first night in the house.
6 November 1986Diane goads over Sam the fact that she is dating other men, namely Chad. Sam doesn't seem to care, but does. Diane probably is only doing it to bother Sam. After a few dates, Diane calls it off with Chad, she's says because she knows that it is bothering Sam. Once again, Sam feigns indifference in front of her. Meanwhile, Norm has added financial counselor to his resume and has made a tidy profit for one of his grateful clients. The gang at the bar all want in on Norm's next big investment opportunity, but he is reluctant to even tell them what it is as business and friendship don't mix. Easily plied with free beer by Sam, Norm does reveal his next investment: Tan 'N' Wash, a combination tanning salon, coin operated laundry. Norm swears the timing is right for such a venture - winter is approaching, and everyone always needs clean clothes. Everyone is skeptical as to the concept, but Sam, Diane, Cliff and Carla all buy in fearing losing out on Norm's winning streak. The timing may not be perfect after all as Boston is experiencing an Indian summer, and the public is continuing to get their tans the natural way outdoors. The four investors are all antsy at the investment, some are mad at Norm, but all want out. Reluctantly, Norm lets them out of their financial obligations. Immediately after that, the weather in Boston changes to snow, and Tan 'N' Wash becomes a big success. Norm is making a lot of money and is flounting his riches. The four investors are now mad because they didn't stay in, and mad again at Norm for his success of which they could have been a part. Just as Norm is about ready to leave Cheers forever due to the ill will, they all come to their senses and apologize to Norm for their childish behavior. That's when he tells them that he didn't take their money out of Tan 'N' Wash after all, and he hands them all their first big dividend checks. They're elated. As they all bask in the glow of their riches, the roof literally and figuratively falls on Tan 'N' Wash: the weight of the snow collapsed the roof of the building and they had no insurance. That's the break in venture capital investment.
13 November 1986Woody is determined to mix a new drink. However his concoctions are either an existing drink or taste like sewer water. Drink after drink after drink he tries, until finally he comes up with something tasty and new. Now if he could only remember what he put into it. Diane is a little happier in her latest quest. She and her date, Jordan Brundidge, have managed to secure reservations at the latest "it" restaurant in Boston called The Cafe. Sam thinks that perhaps he should take his latest conquest, Darlene, there as well. Diane laughs in his face as The Cafe is not the type of place one can call up on the spur of the moment and expect a table. Sam thinks that he can seeing to his local celebrity status. He calls and Diane seems to be right. Even Frasier can't manage to call in a favor from an old colleague, Dr. Julian Weinstein, a world famous transplant surgeon and gourmet, who would be able to get a last minute reservation there. To exert his superiority over Diane, Sam calls The Cafe to cancel Diane and Jordan's reservation, and then calls back immediately in expectation of getting Diane's canceled table - it doesn't work, but he has still managed to cancel Diane's reservation. At the restaurant, Diane is miffed when they inform her and Jordan that the reservation has been canceled, and they probably cannot be seated that evening. Diane wants to wait anyway on the slim chance of getting a table that evening. Just then, who should waltz into the restaurant but Sam and Darlene. How did he manage to get a reservation?: he is pretending to be Dr. Julian Weinstein. Diane is furious. But Sam manages to make it through the night as the great doctor despite Diane's attempts to expose him, and several people in the restaurant who either know Dr. Weinstein or who are doctors that want to talk shop. Diane perseveres in her wait, but Jordan gives up and opts for a bucket of Colonel Sanders' best. Just as Sam is leaving, Diane is still waiting and The Cafe is no longer seating any more guests that night. Sam as Dr. Weinstein convinces Paul the Maitre d' to seat her as a favor to him. Diane is grateful after a long hungry evening. Sam, feeling guilty, places Darlene in a cab and comes back to have a second dinner with Diane, Dutch treat. However, what Sam doesn't count on is that he doesn't have enough cash to cover this second meal. And of course he can't use his credit cards with the name Sam Malone emblazoned on them. So Sam does the only thing he can do: he makes a run for it.
20 November 1986Diane is doing some part-time teaching at the college and tells Sam that one of her students is falling in love with her. The problem is that she prides herself on being attracted to men solely on their inner beauty, but this guy is drop dead gorgeous which is stirring animal passions in her. But he is also young and a student. Sam thinks she is making this story up to make him jealous, especially since the student's name is Lance Apollonaire, as made up a name as you can get. Regardless of if Diane's story is real or not, it is starting to bother Sam. He is beginning to feel old and unattractive. To make matters worse for Sam, Lance is indeed real, is indeed in love with Diane, and is indeed drop dead gorgeous. Diane considers her options with Sam's blessing, but really Sam and Diane are in another battle of wills. A trio of passionate kisses, including one with Carla, helps Diane make up her mind. Meanwhile, Cliff has reached one of his goals in life, that to become a member of a lodge called Knights of the Scimitar. He wants to invite all the guys into the lodge as well, they all really not wanting to join. He talks Norm into joining as it's a good place to make business contacts. Norm breezes through the interview and gets into the lodge. Upon joining, he finds out that lodge members are not permitted to do business with each other. Norm decides to stay regardless since he really does like these guys. However, when they pass a motion to ban beer at lodge functions, Norm's out of there in a flash.
27 November 1986Thanksgiving is approaching and no one has anything to do. No one except Diane that is, who is among a select few graduate students one of her professors has asked to spend Thanksgiving with his family, celebrating in the pilgrim's tradition. In her excitement, Diane suggests that the rest of the gang spend Thanksgiving together in Carla's new home. Carla agrees to a potluck dinner, with Norm in charge of the humongous turkey with the little pop thermometer. Woody, Cliff and Frasier are solo for the day, but Sam is to bring his date Wendy and Norm is to bring his never seen wife Vera. Both end up being stiffed, Wendy spending it with her out of town sister, and Vera, in the biggest argument ever with Norm, vows to her tradition of spending Thanksgiving with her mother. A surprise attendee to the festivities is Diane; she left her professor's house in a huff when she found out she and the other students were invited solely as domestic help. Despite all these set-backs, they all vow that this will be the best Thanksgiving ever. Much to Diane's dismay, they end up spending the afternoon watching football game after football game followed by professional wrestling. But the end of the afternoon marks the anticipation of dinner. The turkey however is not cooperating. "Birdzilla" as coined by Carla, is still stark white and the little pop thing won't pop. They all vow not to eat until the turkey is ready; nerves get more and more frazzled the longer they wait for birdzilla. The rest of the hot food gets cold and the cold food gets warm. The simple act of Norm flicking a pea at Carla starts an all out food fight among the entire gang. But at least it lightens the mood, and sopping wet in food, they finally get to enjoy a cooked birdzilla and each other's company. Vera even shows up at the end. However a misplaced pumpkin pie in Vera's face leads to a chastised Norm being dragged home.
4 December 1986Diane receives what she believes is a "promising" rejection letter from a literary magazine for a poem she submitted. To prove that the letter is nothing more than a form letter, Sam bets her that if he submits a poem to the same magazine, he too will receive the same letter. Much to Sam's surprise, the poem he submits gets published in the magazine. Diane, believing that Sam has plagiarized a previously published work, lives for a week solely on coffee and cigarettes as she madly rifles through every poetry book to find the poem Sam submitted. She hits the furthest deeps of despair when offhandedly Woody mentions to her that he too submitted a poem to the magazine and received the exact same rejection letter as Diane. Feeling that Diane has gone through enough anguish, Sam admits to Diane the source of what was truly his previously unpublished poem. Meanwhile, Carla, the
Elvis Presley fanatic, takes a trip to Graceland on the 10th anniversary of his death.
11 December 1986When Sam goes away on vacation, he chooses Woody to hold down the fort at the bar. Woody is prepared to do so, but unprepared for the Dear John letter he receives from Beth. Wanting to explain in person, Beth and her fiancé, Leonard Twilley - who Woody knows - plan on stopping in Boston on their way to Niagara Falls. Although Woody is sad, he is more fearful of looking pitiful in Beth's eyes by not having a girl on his arms. Seeing that Beth and Leonard's stopover is a short one, Diane thinks that making up a girlfriend for Woody is not a bad idea. However Beth and Leonard's stopover is a bit longer than either Diane or Woody thought, and Beth suggests that they, including Woody's girlfriend, go out for dinner. As a last resort, Woody picks a name out of Sam's little black book - Desiree Harrison - who, according to Sam "is the best" and has multiple stars next to her name. When Desiree comes to the bar at the appointed time, she is not what Woody expected. She is slightly older and a bit rough around the edges. She is, in fact, Sam's cleaning lady. But it's too late for Woody to back out of a date with Desiree as Beth and Leonard have arrived. After dinner, they return back to the bar. Diane thinks that it best that Woody tell Beth the truth. He does clear the air with her about his true feelings for her and Desiree's true identity. Beth likewise tells Woody that she still loves him but that a long distance relationship just isn't going to work, and she's not prepared to move to Boston just as Woody's not prepared to move back to Indiana. With Beth and Leonard on their way, Woody still has to deal with Desiree. He also clears the air with her. He did have a good time with her and just needs someone with who to talk. Desiree's there for him.
18 December 1986Diane admits to the gang that she has been taking a ballet class at the local community college under the tutelage of world renowned Madame Lihkova. The final exam for the class entailed performing a solo to be videotaped for adjudication. The gang at the bar intercepts the tape and the critique before Diane has a chance to see it; the critique is negative as Diane truly has no dancing talent. To spare Diane's feelings, Frasier decides to write a glowing review for Diane instead thinking that this act of kindness will cause no harm. After reading the altered review, which states that she has "the soul of a dancer", Diane decides to pursue her dream of becoming a ballerina, despite her advanced age. She crashes a closed practice for Boston Ballet, and is about ready to perform for the company when Frasier rushes out on stage and tells her the truth.
8 January 1987Diane waltzes into the bar full of cheer, announcing to Sam that she had a premonition that he would ask her to marry him today; he mocks her and laughs in her face. Superstitious Carla warns Sam not to test the fate of woman's intuition. Diane does whatever she can to set the mood for a proposal and Sam does everything he can to prove to Diane that he won't propose. When they're finally alone just prior to midnight, Sam states that her insistence is driving him nuts and adamantly states that he will never ask her to marry him again. When Diane comes to the realization that it might not happen, her tears start to flow which prompts Sam to ask her to marry him. She says no, again! For a split second, he dreams that he has murdered Diane and is on death row - he chases her out of the bar to perhaps do the deed?! The following day, we find that Diane has had Sam arrested for assault and battery, and has asked newly minted but inept lawyer Tom, who has finally passed the bar examine after umpteen tries, to be his lawyer. At the bail hearing, Diane walks with a cane into the courtroom with a brace around her neck. Sam denies even laying a hand on her. Despite the fact that the judge has waived bail and released Sam on his own recognizance, Diane feels the need to tell the court of their relationship and their proposal history. Suggested by Tom and agreed to by the judge, they can get themselves out of this entire situation if Sam just proposes to Diane again.
15 January 1987Sam and Diane announce to the gang at the bar that they are engaged, however Carla goes into deep denial which she finally comes out of by the end of the episode. Diane loves this one engagement ring, and so does Sam until he finds out the $5,200 price. Norm mentions to Sam in secret that he has a jeweler friend, the term jeweler used very loosely, who can reproduce the ring for a fraction of the cost ($1,200). Sam agrees with the ruse. After giving Diane the fake ring, he in turn needs to tell one lie after another to protect his secret, each lie costing his some money. After he figures he can no longer support the lie, he goes and buys the real ring - now having paid in total $9,000 - and without Diane's knowledge, switches it for the fake ring. Afterward, Diane, without Sam's knowledge, finds out that Sam bought this fake ring, and in a fit of rage, throws what she believes is the fake ring, but what turns out to be the real ring, out the car window. Because of both Diane's act of throwing away the ring and Sam's of perpetrating the ruse, they have a heart to heart about the real meaning of love, marriage and an engagement ring.
Season 5, Episode 15: Spellbound
22 January 1987Diane and Carla console Loretta, who has caught Nick cheating on her. They counsel her to stand on her own two feet and leave Nick. When Nick comes into the bar to claim her back, a chivalrous Sam stands up for her, Nick taking that as a sign that Sam has stole Loretta from him. So Nick threatens to steal the same from Sam, that being Diane. Nick makes an attempt to wine and dine Diane, then Loretta, then Carla and then back to Diane, who ultimately convinces him to go back to his wife. Meanwhile, Frasier, the chess expert, has met his match in simpleton Woody.
29 January 1987Eddie Lebec, a newly acquired goalie for the Bruins, comes into the bar prior to a game. Eddie is currently the hottest goalie in the league. Since the start of his winning streak, Eddie, a superstitious person, will not stray from his regular routine, which includes a drink of club soda, no ice, 2 slices of lemon and a red straw. Eddie and Carla hit it off and start dating. Carla is excited but anxious that something will go wrong to ruin the relationship. On the day Eddie publicly declares Carla as his girlfriend, a game against the Flyers goes into OT, and as soon as Carla blows him a kiss of good luck, Eddie's winning streak comes to an end. Is the only difference in his routine the fact of Carla being in his life? With others in the bar, Diane is called to jury duty, to which she is named foreman for an attempted murder trial. Despite being sworn to secrecy, Diane talks about the trial to anyone who will listen, that really being no one. And a depressed Frasier is sad about the passing of beloved lab chimp Bombo. To cheer him up, Carla takes him to a hockey game. The game does get him out of his funk, a little too much however.
5 February 1987Carla and Eddie are now in a relationship. Ever since Carla blew him the kiss and Eddie let in that cheap goal, Eddie has been on a slump. The most superstitious couple ever, Eddie and Carla analyze Eddie's life routine since the slump started, the only change in routine being Carla in his life. Not only does Carla come to the conclusion that she may be a jinx, but so does every one else in the bar. So she dumps Eddie, admitting to the gang that she did it just to prove that she isn't Eddie's jinx. At the game that night, Eddie's slump ends. Later, he and Carla have a heart to heart about their relationship and Eddie's career. A couple of weeks later, as Eddie is continuing to play well, Eddie and Carla seemingly are back in a relationship when they replay almost to a T the scene of Carla dumping him - this has now become their new winning routine before every game. Meanwhile, Diane is still at the trial and still talking to whoever will listen to her. Reminiscent of
12 Angry Men (1957), Diane stands alone in the jury as the dissenting voice thinking that the accused is guilty, comparing the relationship of the accused and his victim wife to Sam and herself. However the wife drops the charges since she has changed her mind about his guilt and admits that she still loves him. This act ends the trial much to Diane's dismay. Later the husband and wife coincidentally show up at the bar. Based on a sly comments from Diane, the wife storms out of the bar once again afraid of her husband, followed closely by him, not before he throws a few angry parting shots to Diane. At least, in Diane's mind, justice has now been served.
12 February 1987For the bachelor party the guys at the bar throw for Sam, Woody offhandedly asks Diane if she would be the girl who jumps out of the cake. Although she abhors such male sexual rituals, she agrees if only to stop someone else from "pleasuring" Sam. At the party, just as Diane is ready to come out of the cake, Norm makes a comment which makes Sam reexamine out loud for the first time this wedding and the fact that Diane will now be the one and only woman in his life. After jumping out of the cake mad at Sam for his comments, Diane later offers Sam a proposition: she will give him a last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever he pleases with whomever he pleases. Excited, Sam agrees when Diane throws in that she too will have her last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever she pleases with whomever she pleases. This throws Sam's 24-hours into a different mode, as he spends the entire time thinking about Diane and what she's up to, even as far as spending the night in his car outside her apartment waiting for her to come home, which she never does. Just before the end of their 24-hours, Sam admits to Diane what he had done and is angry at her for not coming come, obvious to him that she did have her last fling. Knowing that her leap of faith worked, Diane admits that she was down the street in her car watching him!
19 February 1987On his postal route, Cliff is bitten by a dog, and decides to sue the owner for $200,000. Madeline, the dog's owner, ends up being a beautiful, voluptuous woman, but one that is up front about wanting to help Cliff despite the fact that she has little money. Cliff and Madeline start dating, the gang at the bar thinking that it only a ploy on her part for Cliff not to sue. Cliff realizes this is the case, but is still dating her in hopes of trading dropping the lawsuit for a roll in the sack. Madeline announces to everyone that her lawyer wants her to get Cliff to sign a waiver to absolve her of any responsibility, but she refuses to do so. Perhaps Madeline really does like Cliff. Or maybe she's got other methods of getting her way. Madeline and Cliff make it all the way to bed in a nice suite at the Ritz, when... Meanwhile, Diane is off on a Buddhist monastery retreat for a couple of weeks.
26 February 1987Frasier and Lilith announce that they are moving in together and as the instigators of the relationship, they invite Sam and Diane over as their first dinner guests. Just prior to Sam and Diane's arrival, the new couple analyze their relationship and who manipulated who into doing what, which starts an evening long argument. As Sam and Diane arrive, the evening goes on a roller coaster of emotions, the major downturn initiated by Diane revealing to Lilith that she and Fraiser were once engaged, something that Frasier had not yet mentioned to Lilith. Thus Diane becomes the third member embroiled in the emotional battle for the evening. Sam ultimately becomes the voice of reason calming everyone down. As the evening looks to come to a final calm end, both Lilith and Diane storm into the bathroom over other separate issues, to which Frasier finally takes matters into his own hands.
Season 5, Episode 21: Simon Says
5 March 1987Frasier's colleague from his Rhodes scholar days, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, is a world renowned marriage counselor and is in Boston to accept an honorary degree. Diane asks the good doctor to provide a counseling session for her and Sam, to which the doctor agrees. Frasier wants to pay for the session as a wedding gift to Sam and Diane; Dr. Finch-Royce charges Frasier $1,500 for the session, to which Frasier steams quietly. After the Q&A session with the couple, the doctor pronounces that Sam and Diane are the most ill-matched couple ever and that they should definitely not get married; he then leaves the bar to return to his hotel, as he wants a quiet evening of calling his wife in England, eating a quiet dinner, having a soothing shower and going to sleep early. Diane is incensed by the doctor's assessment. She and Sam go to his hotel for a first time as Diane thinks he was testing their resolve for each other (which he denies), a second time as Diane says she answered the questions incorrectly (which he says doesn't matter), a third time as Diane has additional published information on why he's wrong (which he doesn't care), and finally a fourth time as Diane pleads for her and Sam's life. Of course, they are egged on by Frasier, who wants to get back at his colleague for the exorbitant fee. Finally, the doctor, totally fed up with the couple who he has grown to hate, goes into a wild man and obviously sarcastic rant about how Sam and Diane are the most perfect couple there ever was and ever will be. Diane is now content she got the assessment she wanted.
19 March 1987The Coach's niece, Joyce, comes to Boston to attend BU. She comes to the bar bearing a letter from her father, the Coach's younger brother, for Sam: he asks Sam keep an eye out for his little girl, for if anything was to ever happen to her, he would blow his brains out. This is a heavy burden on Sam, and by association Diane. To keep her out of trouble, they ask the most innocent person they know to show her a good time, that person being Woody. Woody and Joyce have a good time together, so good in fact that after a couple of days, they announce that they are engaged. This news throws Sam into a tizzy. He first tries to reason with them to no avail. He second tries to bribe them, also to no avail. And third and finally, he begs them on his knees, to which they think Sam may be right. Thinking that he has won the battle, Sam is satisfied. However Woody and Joyce come back and say that they have decided to live together instead. It's Diane's turn to try and talk them out of this, first by reasoning with them, and finally she ends up begging as well. After that works, Sam and Diane compare notes, both admitting their tactic and contemplating how bad they will be as parents, vowing off sex to avoid having children. But then again, this is Sam and Diane. Meanwhile, Frasier and Lilith are celebrating an anniversary of their first meeting. Frasier buys Lilith an antique armoire, while he leaves clues around the apartment for what he wants, a new set of golf clubs. His extra special gift ends up being a plain old every day tie.
26 March 1987Norm announces to the bar that he has a great new job at a prestigious CPA firm. Although happy for him, everyone at the bar gives Norm little jibes about the job. After Norm leaves to go back to work, Diane is upset at the bar's treatment of Norm and suggests they all go down to his new office and surprise him with a gift as a show of their support. When they arrive, they find Norm in his office, which is the size of a phone booth and which used to be the supply room. What's worse, he has to share it with an obsequious brown-noser of a colleague named Tompkins. When alone with Diane, Norm shows his frustration at which Diane chastises him for not being more of a go-getter in his life in general. This act and his lot within the company makes Norm think he can move up the corporate ladder, and he drafts a proposal to save the company some money, the proposal which, with Diane's support, he intends to present to the Board of Directors. While preparing for the presentation, Norm leaves the proposal unattended, which is quickly snatched up by Tompkins, who immediately goes into the Board Room to pitch the idea as his own. Tompkins is shot down as the proposal is bad. This shows Norm that he really has found his lackluster lot in life. In his own words, "the world needs bench warmers". Meanwhile back at the bar, Sam and Diane discuss where they should go on their honeymoon. Will it be Tibet or Disney World?
2 April 1987After Woody's Uncle Fergie has a mugging filled trip to Boston, Woody's father thinks that Boston too dangerous a place for his son and wants him to return back home to Indiana. The gang at the bar thinks that showing Woody's friends through the making of a home movie would settle Woody's father's concerns. The first attempt has Diane as writer, director and cinematographer. Her "cast" rebels at the unnatural for them dialog in Diane's script and they fire her; she then absolves herself from the project. The final product of the second attempt has Woody shown individually with each of his friends in each of their natural settings: Sam in his office, Carla at a backyard BBQ at her house with her rambunctious kids, Cliff on his postal route, Norm at the Hungry Heifer and Frasier at his psychiatrist's office. After viewing each agrees that they all come off as boobs, that is except for Diane, who sees this version as the start of something great, all it needing is a few Chambers touches. The third and final version has Diane's hands jazzing up the second version, complete with 1950s/1960s new wave touches such as nuclear explosions and Nazi soldiers. Although Diane is happy with this version, the rest of the gang isn't. Unfortunately she has already sent a copy to Mr. Boyd senior. The film did not do the trick. Just as Woody is ready to leave the bar and Boston for good, his father gives him a call and says that he can stay. What made him change his mind was an anonymous letter he received stating "let your son choose his own path and it will always lead back to you". But who sent the note?
30 April 1987Diane finds the perfect house for her and Sam to buy. An elderly couple, Bert and Lillian Miller, currently live there and have for forty years. After hearing the Miller's stories of life in that house, Diane no longer thinks that it is the perfect house for her since it is Bert and Lillian's emotionally. She states emphatically, "I cannot live a single day in this house." Sam reasons with Diane that they can change the cosmetics of the house and start making their own memories by living there. These arguments do not work. Based on a statement by the Millers that they will miss the Christmases the most, Frasier suggests that they give the Millers one last Christmas in the house to rid Diane and Sam of any guilt. Sam thinks it's a screwy idea, but it's just what Diane needs. Despite it being the heat of summer, Diane decides not to wait until December and to have Christmas come in the summer this year, at least for the Millers and their extended family. During the summer Christmas party - complete with all the trimmings, a blazing fire, hot apple cider and Sam in a heavy wool Santa suit - the Millers get all sentimental about the Christmases and all the other holidays in the house. Diane breaks down and invites them over the following week for Easter. Sam finally puts his foot down and kicks the Millers out. Contrary to what Sam might think, Diane actually now feels that the house is theirs since Sam has claimed it for her. Life in the house is now almost perfect for Diane, all she needs is to convince Sam not to hang in the house his favorite picture: dogs playing poker.
7 May 1987Sumner Sloan, Diane's ex-fiancé and old English professor, tells her that he submitted one of her old unfinished novels to an editor at a publishing house, the editor who sees promise in it and sees the possibility of it being published. Diane hasn't yet finished it, in fact she hasn't written anything since she started working at Cheers. Sam secretly overhears their conversation, and thinks that their impending wedding may be holding back Diane in her writing career, something she's always wanted. He tries to talk her into postponing the wedding to finish her novel. She in turn suggests that they get married that night at the bar instead of waiting for their original wedding date. Sam daydreams about himself and Diane in old age together, she having forgone her writing career. The picture is a happy one, and back in reality, he agrees to Diane's request to get married that evening. With the exception of the guys at the bar betting on them actually going through with it and Carla's wailing at the prospect of Sam marrying Diane, the wedding is going smoothly until a phone call comes through for Diane: the publisher has decided to publish her novel and give her a huge advance to finish it. Despite Diane saying "I do", she is obviously distracted. Just before they are announced man and wife, Sam calls it off, as he doesn't want to be the person standing in the way of the one thing she really is good at and which she loves doing. He convinces her. This is only supposed to be a six-month postponement of the wedding while she finishes her book, but Sam knows he is saying goodbye to Diane for good.
24 September 1987Things at Cheers have changed. Sam has sold the bar to a large corporation and with the proceeds of the sale, bought a boat and is sailing around the world. As employees, Woody and Carla are forced to wear corporate uniforms. The new manager, Rebecca Howe, is a beautiful but tough as nails boss who has worked her way to this position from a business school background. Norm and Cliff no longer frequent the bar, as don't many of the old regulars, except Frasier. Norm gave the "new" Cheers a shot, but as a new crowd started populating the bar, the old refrain, "Norm!" as he enters, has left their vernacular. Diane's book deal didn't work out, and is in Hollywood writing for television. And Carla and Eddie have broken up. But the one constant: Carla is again pregnant, this time with Eddie's child. Into this new world, Sam throws everybody for a loop and returns to Cheers; apparently, he sank his boat when he hit a reef in the Caribbean. He came back to the bar, not in an effort to buy it since he has no money, but rather to find a job as a bartender. However there aren't any positions available. The other bartender, Wayne, is a dour man who knows how to make every drink known to man. Sam decides that a good approach to getting a job at Cheers is to go through Rebecca. When he meets her, he is amazed at his luck since he figures he can get a job AND sleep with her. Rebecca however takes an instant dislike to him. Sam honestly appeals to her on an emotional level: he sold the bar to run away from the memory of Diane, but now that he has returned and sees the changes, those memories are no longer a problem, yet the bar is as close to a home as he has ever had. Rebecca feels sorry for him, and offers him a part time relief bartender job. But Sam thinks he has the upper hand when he secretly overhears a telephone conversation between Rebecca and Evan Drake, a VP with the company for which, as a side note, Rebecca has the hots. Mr. Drake wants her to hire Sam full time for his "marquee" value. She does so, but needs to fire another one of the bartenders, that person being Woody. However Carla has hatched a plan to get Wayne fired or to have him quit voluntarily instead. Wayne, in a bet with Carla, says he will quit if that night, he can't make a drink for which a customer requests. All the old gang, who haven't been into the bar in ages, including Norm, Cliff, Alan, Steve and Tim, come in and ask for a "Screaming Viking", a drink that doesn't exist, but that Woody happily prepares. Wayne, knowing that he is being had, storms off in a huff and quits. Although Sam thinks his problems are solved, Rebecca ends up firing him since he has shown her up. Sam asks for a second chance, and Rebecca, needing a bartender, does give him the opportunity. Sam and Rebecca come to an understanding about their professional relationship.
1 October 1987Dave Richards is looking for a replacement television sportscaster to fill his position and thinks Sam would be the perfect person: he knows sports and he looks good. Although initially apprehensive about his abilities to do it, Sam agrees to fill in for the week. If he does well, this stint could lead to a whole new career in front of the camera. With Woody's help, Sam makes up a lie to Rebecca to get out of working at the bar for that time, and although Rebecca eventually finds out the real reason for Sam's absence, she allows him time off to do his sportscasts. Sam's reporting of the news is adequate enough, however it is his commentaries that are the problems. They start off being bland, worse than watching paint dry. When everyone advise him on how to make the commentaries better, Sam makes the next commentary not only bland, but bland and incorrect and indecisive. Then to make them more exciting, he decides to deliver the next one in a rap style. Sam thinks he is doing well. Then the final sportscast goes from the sublime to the ridiculous as he tries what he thinks is the pièce de resistance, ventriloquism. It is then that he realizes that he was not cut out to be a sportscaster. Much like his earlier lie to Rebecca, Sam enlists Woody's help to regain a little dignity with the gang in the face of his on-screen humiliation.
15 October 1987A week after Carla tells Eddie that she's pregnant with his child, Eddie walks into the bar; Carla feels this could be her lucky day. He indeed does ask her to marry him. She's excited beyond words. She's even more excited in the fact that Eddie tells her that she no longer has to work since he can support them both. They start planning their wedding, but being the two most superstitious people in the world, they have a lot of superstition obstacles to overcome. With all that to consider, they figure they have to marry in exactly eight days, or postpone the wedding until 2042. Sam plans on having a reception for them at the bar, Rebecca initially indignant that Sam suggests doing so without her authorization, until he suggests she invite her unrequited love and boss, Evan Drake, who is a sports fan, to meet famous goalie Eddie. All the plans for the wedding go smoothly enough, until the wedding day, when Carla and Eddie inadvertently break the most superstitious rule of them all: he sees her on their wedding day before the wedding. Carla thinks they're doomed. Although deep down still superstitious, Eddie on the other hand states that superstitions are nonsense and starts tempting all the superstition fates by purposely breaking them, such as breaking a mirror and spilling salt. One by one, bad things, according to Carla, start to happen, but Eddie sees the bright side. Carla learns she's going to have twins; Eddie says they're twice blessed. Carla's son and his wife, Anthony and Annie, come in with the news that Nick's TV shop, where Anthony was working, has gone under, they have no money and thus need to move back in with Carla; Eddie says it is then a good excuse to buy a bigger house with the salary increase he is expecting. Anthony hates the fact of "a new father"; Eddie brushes it off as regular kid behavior, and sees it as a sign of a son who loves his mother. The next bad sign is that Eddie's mother hates Carla on first sight. Mama Lebec thinks Carla is a gold-digging hussy who is trying to trap her son by getting pregnant. Mama Lebec runs off and Eddie follows after her. Eddie comes back, which makes Carla change her mind - she now thinks their impending marriage can withstand anything life has to throw at them. However Eddie has also changed his mind: he calls off the wedding because of Mama.
22 October 1987Eddie and Carla's wedding is off because Mama LeBec doesn't approve of her intended daughter-in-law. Eddie can't go against Mama, and Carla is pissed off at Eddie for not doing so. But the person who seems most upset is Rebecca because it will look badly upon her if Evan Drake, her boss and unrequited love, shows up to a wedding reception with no bride and groom. Sam assures Rebecca he can get the wedding back on track so that the reception will happen, but will do so only on the condition that they lose the uniforms. Rebecca reluctantly agrees. Sam ends up doing a juggling act, maneuvering all the players back into place. Sam convinces Eddie that he loves Carla, and Sam makes Carla forget about being mad at Eddie once she puts on her wedding gown. So the wedding is back on. Now if only they can overcome the backlog now happening at the church as they need to get married by 4:00 for their superstitious planets to be in alignment. The church monsignor does manage to accommodate the wedding - albeit in the church vestibule - but they are pronounced man and wife at 4:01. Despite being married, they feel their life is doomed. At the reception, Eddie is miserable, Carla is miserable. And Rebecca is miserable - and drunk - since Evan Drake got stuck at a meeting and couldn't make it to the reception. For Eddie, the final nail in the coffin for the evening is the news that the Bruins just cut him and they couldn't trade him, so he's now out of a job. Although a bad thing, Carla comes to a slightly different conclusion: Eddie was cut because he was a lousy goalie. So if Eddie being cut wasn't due to superstition, perhaps everything else that happened that day wasn't either. Perhaps it was just life. Carla also realizes that it is unfortunately her life. Regardless, she's now married to a great guy, which does make her happy. But the day's other events also dawn on her: she is now the sole breadwinner of the family and immediately goes back to work, even if it is at her own wedding reception.
29 October 1987Frasier is feeling pressured by Lilith to get married, and he doesn't like it. He wants to be the man in the relationship and make the decisions. But this relationship is the first one he's ever had where he does feel sexually desirable in an animalistic sense, and wants to know what that may feel like with another woman. Norm, Cliff, Tim and Alan convince him that Rebecca has the hots for him, and Cliff even manages to get Rebecca to inadvertently give Frasier that impression. Based on this, Frasier decides to pursue Rebecca and dump Lilith, the latter in the coward's way by leaving her a note. When he hits on Rebecca, he quickly finds out that not only is she not interested in him, she doesn't even know who he is. Humiliated but panicked, he wonders if he can retrieve the note he left for Lilith before it's too late. He originally thinks so, but she has read the letter and is furious. Frasier tells her a condensed version of the truth. When she is even more furious that he dumped her on only the mere possibility that another woman might be interested in him, he lies and says that he did have an affair. Lilith forces him to reveal the name of this woman, and he does so under duress. Lilith feigns some forgiveness, but secretly rushes off to the bar to confront Rebecca to fight for her man, albeit in a civil and controlled way. When she finally speaks to Rebecca, she realizes that Frasier lied to her about a relationship with Rebecca. As a result, Lilith is even more hurt that he would perpetrate such a lie just to get away from committing to her. Frasier shows up at the bar looking for Lilith, who hatches a plan to force Frasier to continue perpetrating the lie to who he thinks is an unsuspecting Rebecca, but who in reality now knows the story behind Frasier and Lilith. Amazingly, Frasier does continue with the lie, although obviously nervous in doing so. Finally he gets to a point where he is totally backed into a corner with the lie, and the only way he feels to get out of it is to use one of the oldest tricks in the book: he gets down on his knees and proposes to Lilith. She accepts. And the look on both Lilith and Frasier's faces show that they really are happy. Meanwhile, the power struggle between Sam and Rebecca at the bar continues, the biggest bone of contention being who's photograph should hang in the bar: the ex-bar owner and pseudo-celebrity Sam or the current bar manager Rebecca.
5 November 1987Rebecca cuts off unemployed Norm for being unable to pay his bar tab. Sam convinces her to give Norm a job at the bar, ultimately deciding on painting her "unneeded to be painted" office. As an aside, Cliff shows an obvious distaste for the painting profession. While Norm is in the office painting, Rebecca gets a call from boss and unrequited love, Evan Drake. He chews her out for the poor last fiscal performance at the bar. She's crushed and breaks down in front of Norm. This act is the first glimpse of any real human emotion anyone in the bar has seen of the previously cold-hearted Miss Howe, who admits herself that everyone sees her as being cold. Although the nature of this human connection is a secret between Norm and Rebecca, Norm does admit to Sam and Carla, to their utter amazement, that Rebecca showed some real emotion to him. Rebecca asks Norm to paint her apartment, and in an act of desperation in more ways than one, Sam pleads with Norm to let him come along as his assistant to see what Norm sees in Rebecca as a human being. Norm reluctantly agrees. Sam is a poor excuse for a painter's helper, but of course painting is not on Sam's mind. In the middle of the job, Norm is called away, leaving Sam and Rebecca alone in her apartment. Sam admits to Rebecca his real reason for coming over and Rebecca in turn does open up to Sam. Among her stories is an overachieving family and a desperate want on her part to please her father, a military captain. Things are going well between the two of them until Sam takes it one step too far. They end up back where they started, although at least knowing and understanding a little more about each other.
12 November 1987Frasier finds out some juicy information about Rebecca from her college days, specifically that she was the party girl on campus and that her nickname was Backseat Becky. Although embarrassed by the information albeit one where how the nickname arose not divulged, Rebecca ultimately uses the incident to turn the tables on Sam. Meanwhile, Cliff and Ma Clavin, who we learn is just like Cliff in the "know-it-all" department, are on a roller-coaster of emotions regarding the possible selling of their house to commercial developers. Cliff wants to sell in the name of progress, whereas Ma Clavin wants to preserve the memories of their lives in that house and not sell. Ma convinces Cliff that she's right by reliving memories through the old scrapbook, which always gets to Cliff. However when they're offered $250,000 for the house, Ma Clavin jumps at the offer. Cliff is still steadfast in his resolve to keep the house. Ultimately, his arms around a column, he handcuffs himself to the house just as the demolishers are there to knock it down. Based on Cliff's resolve and passion, he convinces Ma that they really should keep the house. But they still need to uncuff Cliff from the house, not an easy task as Cliff's thrown away the key. Norm comes in with a chainsaw, first suggesting to cut the cuffs. They decide a better approach would be to chainsaw the column. Norm does so and Cliff is freed. As Ma, Cliff and Norm exit the house to decide how to stop the demolition and rebuy the house, the house collapses around the column, what ended up being a supporting column. Perhaps it was a good idea that they sold their dilapidated house after all.
19 November 1987Rebecca is planning a bachelor auction at the bar to raise money for Children's Hospital. She doesn't ask Sam to be one of the bachelors for auction, which results in a contest between the two regarding Sam's sexual power. In an effort to raise more money, she does ask Woody to be in the auction. Flattered, he agrees but lives to regret it as he is bought by a tough, chain-smoking woman who scares not only Woody but everyone in the bar. Sam ends up being the last auction item. Meanwhile, Lilith and Frasier are in pre-wedding mode. Frasier suggests something that is totally off the radar for Lilith, namely a pre-nuptial agreement. Lilith is shocked and hurt. This act by Frasier could jeopardize the wedding. It becomes even more of a possibility when Lilith, in a last minute coup over Rebecca, buys Sam in the auction for $2,000. Rebecca is relieved as she was only bidding for Sam on Carla's advice to jack up Sam's price. But both Sam and Frasier are stunned by Lilith's move. Before Sam and Lilith head off on their date, Sam and Frasier formulate a plan for Frasier to be Lilith's knight in shining armor and come and rescue her and sweep her off her feet while she's on the date with Sam. In the hotel room on their date at the Cape, Sam talks up Frasier while Lilith tries to seduce Sam. But Sam waits and waits and waits for Frasier to show up. Finally, Frasier bursts in on them just as Lilith has got Sam in a compromising position. Frasier is shocked, but Lilith eventually admits to him that it was all an act as she knew he was coming to rescue her. They clear the air and Sam quietly slips away to let the engaged couple continue on with their lives.
26 November 1987The Drs. Cranes are a little stressed at each of their respective practices, and Sam suggests they take a vacation. They immediately go on vacation mode in preparation for their impending Caribbean cruise. On the cruise, they both are sea sick for the entire time, but have a great time away from their patients regardless. Meanwhile, Woody has joined a local theater group. He tries out for the company's original 4-hour play called "Authors in Hell"; he ends up being the understudy for the Mark Twain role. He wears his costume into the bar each night in the hope that he will go on, and at work he spouts Mark Twainisms to everyone. Into the bar walks a new customer named Mary. Mary is an older woman who is a bit nearsighted and who has recently become a widow. Mary and Woody as Mark Twain hit it off. Carla suspects that Mary has no idea that Woody is really a young man and that Mary is falling for Woody. Carla convinces Woody as much as well. Woody as Mark Twain spends a lot of time with Mary on what could be construed as dates. He doesn't have the heart to tell Mary the truth. Finally he does. She knows that he's not really Mark Twain and that he is a young man, but didn't have the heart to face him with such information since he always starting spouting Twainisms whenever she tried. So instead of becoming lovers, they become favorite aunt/nephew.
3 December 1987Frasier is not having a good day. First his latest paper is attacked by a noted colleague, then second he comes down with an uncontrollable case of the hiccups. But his troubles are nothing compared to Rebecca's. Evan Drake, her boss and unrequited love, comes by the bar at a time when she is a physical mess as she has just finished changing the tire on her car. That and the fact that she has turned down every date from men in the company has led Mr. Drake to suspect that Rebecca is a lesbian. He states as much to Sam, who does not refute the statement. Rebecca is horrified. Mr. Drake invites Rebecca and whomever she chooses to be her date - perhaps a woman? - to a black-tie function. Since Rebecca has not had a date in the two years she's been lusting after Mr. Drake, she doesn't have a man upon who she call to bring. Sam volunteers, and based on circumstances, Rebecca takes him up on his offer. She needs to convince Mr. Drake that she is heterosexual by bringing a male companion. At the party, Rebecca asks Sam to be her spy on the life of Evan Drake. Sam finds out that Mr. Drake is separated from his wife. With that information, Sam convinces Rebecca to tell Mr. Drake her true feelings for him. Rebecca decides that Sam is right and approaches Mr. Drake, but instead of saying that she is attracted to him, she jumps on him, kisses him madly and just says to him, "take me". Mr. Drake is disgusted at her behavior, which he thinks is brought about by too much alcohol. He sends her home, and she is embarrassed and dejected. Sam takes Rebecca back to the bar where she mopes. Mr. Drake comes by as well, thinking that he has overreacted and wants to apologize to Rebecca. Sam intercepts the message and uses it to his own advantage with Rebecca. Sam tells Mr. Drake that Rebecca was trying to make Sam jealous after a tiff. Conversely, Sam tells Rebecca that Mr. Drake is angry at her, didn't buy the jealousy story and they need to make him think that they are indeed making up by being caught in a passionate kiss. As Mr. Drake walks in on Sam and Rebecca, Rebecca does grab Sam in a passionate embrace. She wants to change that embrace to a strangle when she finds out the truth about Mr. Drake's visit to the bar and that Sam was lying just to get her to make out with him.
10 December 1987Cliff has bought himself a new condo in a singles building. He starts dating Sally from the building. The guys at the bar are anxious to meet Sally, but Cliff says that Sally wants Cliff all to herself and would rather stay in all the time. In reality, Sally is a shy, Plain Jane who would really love to go out with Cliff, but Cliff is embarrassed by her looks. Cliff asks Rebecca for advice about Sally, although he tells her that it is Sally who is embarrassed by her looks, not Cliff. Rebecca suggests a make-over as described in beauty magazines. So Cliff becomes Sally's Henry Higgins and transforms Sally into a beautiful woman. When Cliff sees her, he suggests that they go down to the bar for the evening - he is no longer embarrassed. At the bar, Sally garners a lot of attention, which is making Cliff feel like he created a monster. Sally is happy with her new looks and the new attention she is receiving and won't revert back to her old Plain Jane self, even for Cliff. They just have to live with the transformation as part of their relationship. Meanwhile, Rebecca has started smoking again to relieve some stress in her life. However she quickly realizes that it was a mistake and wants to quit, a task more difficult than she anticipates. Frasier suggests that she associate smoking with the most vile act she can imagine. As such, she tells Sam that if she smokes another cigarette, she will sleep with him. Sam does whatever he can to catch her smoking, specifically enlisting the help of Carla to follow her into the ladies' room. When Sam finally catches her smoking, Rebecca resigns herself to doing the deed with Sam. Because of Rebecca's total disgust about the act and her resignation to actually doing it, Sam is no longer in the mood and says no to her. What was he thinking?!
17 December 1987
7 January 1988While discussing exciting things in their lives, Woody tells the gang that he was just an extra on the TV show
"Spenser: For Hire" (1985), and that he had rubbed elbows with its star, 'Robert Urich' . Everyone is excited until they see the episode on TV, where Woody claims that the ubiquitous "white shirt" on the screen is him. After that, everyone in the bar is skeptical of his story. Unfortunately for everyone, they miss 'Robert Urich' who stops by the bar and who chums off with Woody. Meanwhile, Norm is painting Cliff's apartment. Norm is expecting to get paid, Cliff expecting it to be a freebie, especially in light of the fact that Norm painted Ma Clavin's house for free - when Norm was not a professional painter - and that Cliff regards painting as menial work that even a trained monkey could do. Cliff demonstrates this by bringing in a monkey to act as a painter. Norm is not amused and he and Cliff are no longer on speaking terms. However being best friends, they mend their rift. But one good act deserves another, so Norm gets a monkey to come into the bar dressed as a postman to deliver a package. Elsewhere in the bar, Rebecca has booked the pool room to a woman's book club every Sunday night. The women are not as innocent and bookish as they appear as first they drink the bar out of its stash of alcohol, and second whoop it up with unwitting Sam and Frasier - Woody gets away from their pawing hands. But Frasier gets the upper hand in the situation when he gets more money stuffed down his pants from the ladies than Sam does.
14 January 1988Cliff goes into the mail order shoe business. At only $19.99 a pop, all the guys in the bar decide to get a pair. When the shoes arrive, the guys are all amazed at how comfortable and good looking the shoes are. However the shoes do have a flaw: they squeak. Nine pairs of squeaking shoes go running around the bar for that evening. Meanwhile, Rebecca thinks that she finally has her ticket out of the bar. Daniel T. Collier, the Chairman of the Board of the corporation - which by the way is called Lillian - has asked her to organize a party for him at his house. After much convincing on Sam and Woody's parts, Rebecca hires them for the party to tend bar. The party is going well until Woody empties some garbage into what he thinks is a garbage can, but is really a priceless antique vase. What's worse is that Rebecca accidentally breaks it while she's emptying it out. She's devastated. As he feels her job is more important to her that his to him, Sam decides to take the fall for Rebecca. But Woody beats him to the punch and tells Mr. Collier that he broke the vase. Mr. Collier is upset that this piece, significant to his collection, is gone forever, but more importantly he has a strong admiration for Woody, who stepped up to the plate in his admission. Mr. Collier a.k.a. Pinky spends the evening chumming around with Woody doing childish pranks, while Rebecca reluctantly takes Woody's place behind the bar schlepping drinks. Collier even invites Woody on a trip to Vail. But because Rebecca feels that Woody's good fortune should rightfully be hers, Woody admits to his buddy that Rebecca was really the one who broke the vase. Collier is livid and threatens to fire her, but only keeps her on on the recommendation of his good buddy, Woody. The next day, Collier comes into the bar with a look of consternation on his face. Rebecca thinks he's changed his mind and is going to fire her. However, he is mad that he found his broken vase in the kitchen and does not know who did it - he suspects it was one of her staff - as he was drunk during the party and can't remember anything from the evening. Initially Rebecca and Sam are going to deny everything until Woody comes bounding into the bar with the ski suit and pounces on his good buddy, Pinky, who now has no idea who Woody is. Finally, Sam does what he was going to do the previous evening and confesses to Collier about breaking the vase. Collier, as mad as he is about the vase, admires Sam's admission. Pinky has found his new Woody.
21 January 1988Carla has given birth to her twins, and this is causing some short term waitressing issues at the bar. Sam decides to hire Annie Tortelli, Carla's daughter-in-law, since the Tortelli's are facing some financial hardships. However, Evan Drake would like Rebecca to hire his "friend", Laurie. Having already hired Annie, Sam and Rebecca let Annie work solely for tips. Sam and Rebecca's waitressing problems don't end there. Annie is falling for Sam, especially since Anthony is unemployed and a bum by Annie's standards and since Sam made an offhanded comment about Annie being beautiful. Sam solves the problem by, behind the scenes and unknown to Anthony, getting Anthony a job as the assistant night manager at Burger Burger Burger. Anthony once again becomes Annie's macho stud husband. With Laurie, Rebecca suspects that she is Evan Drake's young lover, to which Rebecca is devastated. Rebecca has open animosity toward Laurie, and uses words like slut, harlot and tramp to describe Laurie. But Rebecca needs to find out for sure if Laurie is indeed Evan Drake's lover. When Laurie offhandedly makes a statement to the fact that Evan Drake wears boxer shorts, Rebecca has her proof - why else would Laurie know such a personal detail. Finally Rebecca confronts Laurie, saying that she knows why the powerful Evan Drake would want her hired. Rebecca asks her if there is mutual love between Evan and Laurie, Laurie responds yes. Out of reflex to the response, Rebecca strikes Laurie in the face. Rebecca is horrified at what she did, even more horrified that Evan Drake walks in at that particular second. But Drake and Laurie's mutual love is not what Rebecca thinks: she is his daughter. Rebecca manages to explain hitting Laurie by saying that she has a nerve disorder, the medication for which she hasn't been taking of late. Miraculously, he buys the story. Elsewhere in the bar, Frasier is angry at the guys for ruining the ending of book after movie, and gets back at them by divulging some of the biggest movie endings of all time.
4 February 1988Evan Drake invites Sam and a date onto his yacht for the weekend, Drake implying that it should be Rebecca since Sam and Rebecca are supposedly boyfriend/girlfriend. Sam has someone else in mind - Julie, perhaps the most superficial person in the world - instead. Rebecca finds out and of course insists that Sam bring her so that she can get closer to her unrequited love, Evan Drake. Sam reluctantly agrees, but brings along his "sister" Julie as well. Drake is enamored with Sam's sister and makes a play for her unbeknownst to Sam or Rebecca. Julie wants Evan Drake as well because he's rich. Ultimately Sam and Rebecca find out about the Drake/Julie tryst and are both hurt that they've lost their respective "playmates" for the weekend. Rebecca in particular feels that perhaps she's lost her chance at love while she's been pining for Drake, implying that that person may be Sam. Just as Sam and Rebecca are about ready to do it, Drake comes in and confesses that he was about to take advantage of Julie as he has been lonely since the break up with his wife, but ultimately did not act on his desires for Julie. This act reignites Rebecca's passion for Evan Drake. Sam on the other hand is all hot and bothered by his close encounter with Rebecca, who is again saving herself for Evan Drake. But Julie is now available again. Or perhaps she's found someone else on board, like Lorenzo the hunky shipboard steward. But Sam needs some relief from his sexual build-up, and tries once again with Rebecca. But Rebecca is one step ahead of him.
11 February 1988Frasier and Lilith's wedding is nearing, and their best man and maid of honor, Sam and a very surprised Rebecca, are throwing them each a bachelor/bachelorette party. However Lilith is annoyed at Frasier's increased frequency of snide remarks about marriage and sees it possibly as a sign he is having second thoughts. So she says to him directly that she will give him his freedom if he so desires, and will await a telephone call from him after the party to tell her he still wants to get married. At the bachelor party, Frasier is having a good time but things slowly become more contemplative after the stripper ends up being a client of Frasier's. That incident makes him think whether he really does want to get married at all. The gang give Frasier their own opinions, Sam's being that perhaps Lilith is the one having having second thoughts and that there is nothing that beats the freedom of being single. But Frasier really does love Lilith and calls Rebecca's, where the bachelorette party is being held, to speak to his wife to be. But Carla, the person who answers the phone, tells Frasier that Lilith is too busy with the male stripper to speak to him. Frasier is paranoid that Lilith will run off with the stripper. Lilith does end up crashing the bachelor party with Randy, the male stripper, she stating that she is running off with Randy. In reality, she's drunk and Randy and has brought her to the bar to sober up. Her drunkenness is due to the fact that Frasier didn't call, or at least she didn't know he called. The happy but drunk couple are in love and want to get married and head off on their merry way. The respective parties have ended and all have gone home except Sam. Perhaps the single life isn't all it's cracked up to be.
18 February 1988Evan Drake is in Europe and has hired Norm to paint his house, Norm tells Rebecca that she can come over and look around the bedroom, which is what he is up to. While Rebecca is up there Mr. Drake comes home early and so Rebecca has to hide. Mr. Drake, a very light sleeper is tired as hell and just wants to sleep. Norm can't think of anything and so has to leave her there, after telling the gang at the bar he is sent back there to bail her out. After many failed attempts Norm finally succeeds in two things one getting Rebecca out, and two convincing Mr. Drake that he(Norm) is crazy. Fraiser tells the gang about a patient he saw that morning who is REALLY hot for dancers or anything having to do with dancing, after Fraiser leaves a beautiful girl comes to the bar looking for Fraiser because she had a session with him that morning and left a package in his office Sam likes her and decides to dance his way into her pants. Sam is dancing his brains out and nothing so he asks Fraiser about the beautiful girl he counseled in the morning, Frasier tells him he saw two beautiful girls in the morning one dance-loving and the other fire-loving(pyromaniac), Sam is trying to figure out pyromania when he hears sirens and runs out of the bar.
Season 6, Episode 19: Airport V
25 February 1988After being cut by the Bruins, Eddie finally gets a job. He is a penguin, not of the Pittsburgh variety, but rather a dressed-up penguin in The World of Ice, an ice show. The first stop on the show's tour is Seattle. Carla is reluctant to visit Eddie on the extended Seattle stop as everyone finally finds out she is afraid to fly, or to be more precise she is afraid to crash. After the gang discusses ways to help Carla, Frasier decides that he could hold a week long pteromerhanophobia workshop ending with an actual flight on a plane. Carla agrees to participate. On the flight, Carla and her three other workshop participants are nervous, while Frasier tries to calm their nerves. Starting with a comment about ice on the wings from Carla, Frasier slowly becomes totally unglued and paranoid about flying. But Frasier's irrational behavior shows Carla that really there is nothing to fear about flying. Meanwhile, Murray Treadwell, a local restaurant critic, stops by the bar. When the bar was managed by Sam, Treadwell gave the bar a rotten review, so Rebecca will do anything to rectify that. Treadwell implies to Rebecca that he will give the bar a good review if she goes out with him. Rebecca does go out with him but does not compromise herself and sleep with him. Despite that, Treadwell does the give the bar a good review. But everyone makes the assumption that the review was not for the bar but for Rebecca's performance in bed.
3 March 1988Rebecca is upset that Evan Drake has promoted Sam to an executive position at corporate, the position of Eastern Regional Sales Manager to be more precise. Rebecca thinks something is fishy about the promotion. Despite having nothing to do even after asking Drake about his job responsibilities, Sam is oblivious to any ulterior motives for his promotion. Even after playing in the corporate league's first playoff game for the company, Sam is still oblivious but Rebecca catches on: Sam is the company's softball ringer, and once the playoffs are over, Sam will be let go from his executive position. Rebecca relishes the opportunity to rub Sam's smug nose in it, that is until Sam tells her stories of his recent talks with his estranged father, who is now proud of his son for the first time. Rebecca now feels like she has to tell him the truth out of compassion. Sam at first doesn't believe it, until he finds out that there is a sales meeting to which he wasn't invited. When Sam confronts him, Drake confirms as much. Finally Sam gives him an ultimatum: hire him for legitimate reasons, or off he goes back to the bar. Drake gives him the golden corporate handshake. Sam isn't really disappointed, as life at corporate wasn't his lot. But Rebecca tells everyone at the bar to treat him with kid gloves since he's probably shattered. Sam uses this information as usual to try to get into bed with Rebecca. Life between Rebecca and Sam has returned to normal.
10 March 1988One by one, Woody, Sam and Carla go into Rebecca's office asking for a raise. All three come out of her office with obligatory new titles. In other words, Rebecca has duped them. However she confesses first to Sam then to everyone in the bar that she cannot afford to give anyone a raise since the bar has been losing money for the past three months and the corporation is threatening to close the bar and take its losses. After brainstorming, the gang at the bar come up with an idea for a raffle for a Caribbean cruise. Despite thinking it's futile, Rebecca goes along with it. But the bar is packed for the duration of the contest and the idea is a success. Woody pulls and announces the winner as being number 99. Or is it? He looks at it again and announces that he was wrong, that it really was number 66. Both 99 and 66 argue that they are the rightful winner, and a mob mentality ensues in the bar. Rebecca appeals to both 99 and 66's sense of fairness, but that doesn't work. They both threaten to sue and complain to the corporate bigwigs. Rebecca's budget won't allow two winners. On Sam's advice, Rebecca resorts to tears and stories of her own personal bankruptcy if she awards two winners. 99 and 66 both cave in, but the mob mentality takes over again and the group feels that both, being such compassionate and down on their luck people, deserve to win. Finally, Sam comes up with a solution that has an unwitting and absent Frasier in it's core. Frasier bought a painting for Lilith for their 1-month anniversary, an abstract piece by Tidwell. The gang all think it looks like, in the words of Lilith "two dogs co-mingling". Lilith further states that she heard that Tidwell sold it for some ungodly amount to some ninny. Obviously Frasier ends up not giving her the painting, which leads to Sam giving it away as a co-first prize in the raffle. 66, a Tidwell fan, gladly accepts the painting and lets 99 take the cruise. That problem is solved. In Woody's mind, a further problem arises when he pulls the number for the consolation prize. He pulls number 11, and then looks at it upside down in panic. By the way, Frasier ended up giving Lilith his Mercedes for their anniversary.
24 March 1988In Sam's unfortunate presence (unfortunate for Sam in more ways than one), Anthony and Annie tell Carla and Eddie that they're expecting - meaning Carla will become a grandmother - and that they plan on continuing living at her house after the arrival of the baby. Carla is angry and goes into a deep depression. Carla implies that her issue is that she has gone from being a child herself to being a grandmother, missing out on her own growing up, including her adolescence and middle age. Being a grandmother means her life is almost over. This news in turn affects Rebecca as Carla is in hibernation while she awaits "the angel of death" so Rebecca is short staffed at the bar, and she herself has to schlep drinks to the customers; Rebecca is a reluctant and lousy waitress. The gang think that something that Carla referred to - a slumber party - might get her out of her funk, as in the words of Lilith, recreating a childhood ritual often helps in getting one out of depression around aging. However, Rebecca is unfamiliar with the rituals of slumber partying. She enlists the help of Lilith (equally unknowledgeable) and Lilith's childhood friend Dorothy (ditto), who can only be described as a clone of Lilith. With information from one of Lilith's teen-aged patients, Rebecca, Lilith and Dorothy throw Carla a surprise slumber party. Carla is not amused. She just wants to be left alone. She does agree to the party if they agree to leave her alone if after an hour she is not feeling any cheerier. The final act of the depressing party is the guys come over to crash it. Even that doesn't cheer Carla up and finally Carla convinces them all to leave and leave her alone. She tells them that she needs to work through this on her own. But it's an unwitting act by Cliff that finally gets Carla out of her slump.
Season 6, Episode 23: Bar Wars
31 March 1988The gang are celebrating their second anniversary of beating Gary's Olde Town Tavern in bowling, their one and only victory in the Gary war. But they are also on a winning streak. The act of Gary stealing and breaking the bowling trophy reignites their bar war, of which Rebecca is unfamiliar. She refuses to participate. The Cheers gang starts with dribble glasses, which even by Al's standards are "pretty weeny". Gary's retaliates with fake exterminators claiming Cheers has a rat problem. As this causes bar customers to run out in fear, Rebecca is now in war mode herself. Rebecca authorizes prune juice in the Kahlua bottles, sneezing powder in the ventilation system and greased bars stools, while Gary's chops off the legs of the Cheers' bar stools. Even after Rebecca agrees to a truce and a date with Gary, she finds sheep in her office. The war is still on and date off. The final Cheers act is overriding Gary's television system during a satellite access only prize fight with a showing of the Norm and Cliff poetry evening. Beyond the pranks, the gang at Cheers become paranoid about every stranger that comes into the bar. The first stranger is an innocent guy just wanting to relieve a little stress from his wife's hospitalization. The second is Red Sox power hitter
Wade Boggs, who was sent by Gary to sign autographs at Cheers. It looks like
Wade Boggs, sounds like
Wade Boggs, but does that make him
Wade Boggs? The gang thinks not and decide to pants him. After checking the wallet in his pants, his driver's license and credit cards do identify him as the real
Wade Boggs. They however still need the sense of victory over Gary's, and celebrate the fact that they have THE
Wade Boggs' pants. In their minds, "we're number one, we're number one..." But in the words of the sage Al, that's "pretty weeny".
28 April 1988Sam out to prove that he is STILL hot and Woody out to prove that he IS hot compete to see which one of them can kiss Rebecca first before midnight. While Woody asks Rebecca to help him rehearse a romantic scene Sam comes into the bar in Uniform because he has inlisted. Rebecca becomes suspicious over what's going on asks Carla who is happy to do something that will embarrase both Sam and Woody tells Rebecca who decides to set up the guys and in the end they both get a liplock, from each other.
5 May 1988Evan Drake wants to speak to Rebecca about something important. She thinks it is finally to tell her that he loves her. In her mind, all the signs are there: since his divorce, he has had many of his business meals at Melville's so that he can be close to her, and he is currently in her office using her phone with his mouth inches away from where her own mouth is so often. He however tells her that he has accepted a job to take over the corporation's Japanese division and is off to Japan for good that evening. She is so devastated, she faints right in front of him. Sam feels that she needs to tell Drake how she feels before he takes off, or else she'll be in romantic limbo for the rest of her life. Sam even plans a party for Drake to give her such an opportunity. At the party, she starts to tell him, but they are interrupted time and time again until he has to leave for the airport. She's missed her chance. Or has she? Sam apprehends Martin, Drake's chauffeur, which allows Rebecca to be Drake's chauffeur for his trip to the airport. The one time she does have both the guts and opportunity to tell him that she loves him, he doesn't hear since the dividing glass partition in the limousine is up. When she is about ready to tell him again, he mentions that they need to pick up Kristie, his girlfriend who will be accompanying him to Japan. She is once again devastated, even more so by the fact that Drake and Kristie make out in the back seat, causing Rebecca to crash the limo. While Drake and Kristie grab a cab to the airport, Rebecca gets stopped by a police officer and is hauled to jail for resisting arrest. Sam, in what he calls his vulture position, bails her out in every respect. He sees this as his opportunity finally to bed Rebecca. Things are going just as he planned as Rebecca is in as vulnerable a state as she's ever been. Then she says that he's the best friend that she has in the world. That puts a kibosh on Sam's plans, at least for the time being, as he can't take advantage of his friend in that way. He still wants to help her the best he can but knows he can't be trusted in her presence. The state of her bra is proof of that.
27 October 1988Rebecca is still smarting from Evan Drake's departure to Japan. So instead of men, she focuses her energies on furthering her career - she figures that Evan Drake took all the key players from the company to Japan with him, and thus all those that knew she is a "washout" are now all gone - and buying a Mercedes. But realistically, her defenses are weakened, so when Sam asks her out again, she accepts, albeit without much enthusiasm. Just as Rebecca and Sam are about to go on their first date, Rebecca's new boss, Greg Stone, comes to the bar. Rebecca must has a boss fixation since, for her, it is love at first sight. He bursts her bubble though - he figures the bar did better under Sam's direction, so he is appointing Sam the new manager and fires Rebecca. She's in utter shock. They end up both being miserable, Rebecca for obvious reasons, but Sam because he hates managing a bar in a corporate style. So he begs Mr. Stone to give Rebecca her job back; Mr. Stone agrees, although with some pretty heavy conditions such as a pay cut, going back to school, sharing the office with Sam and waiting tables during busy times. Carla suggests to Sam that he use the fact of getting her job back, minus the conditions, to get Rebecca to bed. The plan is working well for Sam until Rebecca finds out the job conditions. After she walks out on her date with Sam, she is ready to walk out of the bar forever - that is until she finds out her Mercedes has arrived. So it's back to Cheers and the corporate grind for Rebecca.
3 November 1988Sam is in the middle of picking up an attractive woman named Suzanne in the bar, when he's called by another former lover named Denise who wants to see him as soon as possible. So many women, so little time. He chooses to see Denise, while he puts current prey, Suzanne, on hold. However Denise doesn't quite want a liaison: she tells Sam that he is one of two possible men who fathered her newborn child. Sam is shaken at the news, and swears to God that he will forgo sex forever if the child isn't his. Well actually, he changes that to three months, which is like a lifetime for Sam. He quickly finds out that he is not the father, and is relieved. He is just about ready to head off for an evening of debauchery with Suzanne when Carla reminds him of his vow to God. Because of Carla's strong Catholic background, she convinces Sam, with a little help from Woody dressed as Moses, that a vow to God is something one should not take lightly. Besides Carla, Sam asks for advice from Father Barry and Frasier, the former who won't let Sam off the hook, and the latter who suggests he funnel his sexual energies into other endeavors, such as learning to play the piano. It doesn't help that another old flame, Rachel Patterson, comes by the bar on a short layover she has in Boston. Weak Sam eventually breaks and heads off with Rachel. However, he comes back into the bar a changed man: he was about ready to do the deed with Rachel in a hotel room when all of a sudden he noticed a Bible in the nightstand. They switch hotels and Sam notices the same Bible in the next hotel room and the next. According to Sam, it must be a sign from God. Just as Frasier is about to set him straight on Bibles in hotel rooms, he is stopped by Carla, who wants Sam to live up to his vow to God. They let Sam live with his misconception. Sam's made it through this episode with Rachel, but it's going to be a long three months with a lot of piano playing.
10 November 1988Woody has some honey bees delivered to the bar and keeps them in the office for safekeeping. Luckily he does as they do get loose and they seem rather angry. Rebecca has another pest with whom to deal, namely her new boss, Martin Teal. Greg Stone has been fired from the company, and Mr. Teal has taken his place at corporate. He wants to meet with Rebecca. In the elevator at corporate, she is hit on by a vertically-challenged man-child in a suit, to whom she basically tells to go back to his mommy. Later, she is horrified to learn that the man-child is Martin Teal. He takes an instant like to her in more ways than one. He not only reinstates her as the sole manager at Cheers, he wants to date her. To get him off her back, she lies and tells him that she is already romantically involved with someone, namely Sam. Back at the bar, Rebecca agrees to Sam's earlier proposition to go out on a date, just to maintain the façade for Mr. Teal. Sam quickly sees through Rebecca; he looks forward to meeting Martin Teal, the man from who Rebecca is trying so hard to get away. But Martin Teal, a man used to getting what he wants, has more than a romantic liaison with Rebecca in mind: he wants to marry her.
17 November 1988Rebecca is still in a quandary over what to do about the marriage proposal from Martin Teal. Martin, her boss, is a weaselly little twerp in her own words, but she doesn't want to jeopardize her career. She talks Sam into rekindling their fake relationship to the point of being in a fake engagement to throw Martin off her trail. Martin however makes a preemptive move by sending Sam down to Cancun on a bartender exchange for a month, Sam who is thrilled by this opportunity. While away, Sam thinks nothing about Cheers or Rebecca. When Sam misses the corporate jet back to Boston, Martin takes that as a sign that Sam has forgotten about Rebecca and his job in Boston, and once again hits on Rebecca. Rebecca manages to hold Martin off in the short term while she works on her supposed "grief". She heads down to Cancun herself to plead with Sam to come back, even to the point of threatening him at gunpoint. When Sam still won't go back to Boston, Rebecca leaves in total dejection. Back in Boston, Rebecca concedes to Martin by getting into a drunken stupor. Martin asks her to marry him once again and she accepts. He is well prepared and has Justice of the Peace with him for the ceremony right then and there. Just at that moment, Rebecca's knight in shining armor, Sam, comes bounding back into Cheers to save Rebecca from Martin. Luckily, Martin not only sees that Sam has "won" Rebecca, but he doesn't fire her from the corporation. After Martin leaves, Rebecca passes out. Unlike the several other such opportunities he has had with Rebecca, Sam finally takes advantage of her vulnerable situation: he draws a mustache on her.
24 November 1988Eddie is back in Boston with the ice show, and with the show comes beautiful East German skater Franzi Schrempf, who is notorious for dating her male partners. Does Carla have anything about to worry? Franzi finds Sam rude and crude. She likes simpler men. Could that be Eddie? Carla suspects that Franzi and Eddie are having an affair but has no proof whatsoever. However the gang at the bar do find out that Franzi has fallen for some guy in the ice show. Sam implies to Carla that if Eddie has strayed, perhaps she pushed him into it by not being nicer to him and by not being more "feminine". Carla is repulsed by the idea by being a frilly woman, so she confronts Eddie in her usual way. That doesn't work, so she does try being frilly and subservient at a poker night at the house. She soon finds out that Franzi's boyfriend is someone else in the ice show, and thus is even madder at Eddie for going along with the frilly stuff. But Eddie realistically loves his little spitfire of a wife, the frilly Carla who actually scared him more.
8 December 1988The Crane's are having their apartment redone and have called in renowned designer, Ivan. They've also called in Norm to do the prep work and painting. However, Ivan's ideas are all form and no function. On top of that, he's dictatorial. So they fire him - nicely of course. Inadvertently, Norm, by just moving a chair in their living room so that he can spackle a wall, causes Lilith and Frasier to gush about the great placement of the chair in its new location. From this, Norm really does show his talent for what he calls color and "where to place the ottoman", and he is hired to design and implement the Crane's apartment. It turns out to be exactly what they want and it looks great. From this, the Crane's recommend Norm to their yuppie friends of friends, Kim and Robert Cooperman, who also want their place redone. Norm's initial meeting with the Cooperman's doesn't start off well. Frasier tells him that the Cooperman's are snobs who expect their designers, to use Frasier's term, to be "stylish" i.e. gay and flamboyantly so. To get the job, Norm pretends to be what the Cooperman's want. He eventually gets hired and does another great job. From this, the Cooperman's want Norm to do their mountain cabin as well. But the Cooperman's also have another gift for Norm: a man. To get out of revealing his true identity, Norm fabricates a boyfriend: Sam. As good a friend as Norm is, Sam can only take the lie so far and Norm's true life is revealed. The Cooperman's are hurt and vow to take their business elsewhere. That is until Norm offers a compromise. The gang at the bar are also hurt that Norm didn't confide in his new life to them, but they quickly get over that with a few special deals. Elsewhere in the bar, Rebecca is afraid that she's looking a little fat, and Sam in particular ribs her about that.
15 December 1988The Cranes are going on a driving vacation, and Lilith admits to Sam that she doesn't know how to drive and would like him to teach her. He soon regrets saying yes as she becomes an aggressive, maniac driving machine, with Sam taking the brunt of other drivers' wrath against Lilith. Meanwhile, Rebecca gets her photo taken for a newspaper article. However her photo gets misprinted - in the obituary section. Cliff isn't dead but goes on like he might be soon. He is going into the hospital for an appendectomy. He's making a big deal about the life and death nature of the surgery. While in the hospital, he gets no visitors. Everyone at the bar assumes that someone else has gone to visit him. Frasier volunteers only since he has to make rounds at the hospital anyway. When he arrives at Cliff's room, he finds out that Cliff has already been discharged. Frasier makes some disparaging remarks about Cliff which Cliff overhears. Cliff is hurt that no one came to visit, Frasier leveling with him that perhaps it is because of his insensitive and obnoxious personality. Cliff thinks that some fast acting and drastic measures are required to strengthen his so-called friendships, and decides on shock-aversion therapy. Against the advice of the therapist, Dr. McManus, he takes the shock-aversion treatment with him to the bar. Dr. McManus has a remote to shock Cliff every time he makes an insensitive or obnoxious remark, the shocks unbeknownst to everyone else in the bar. Cliff starts out well enough but soon gets shocked every other second, which cause Cliff to grab the remote and chase the therapist out of the bar. The gang is sorry that Cliff felt he had to resort to such measures to feel like he had friends. All is back to normal with their relationships, except for one, who has got a hold of the remote.
22 December 1988Woody, Norm and Cliff come bounding into the bar after a drunken evening of watching The Magnificent Seven, and are feeling all macho. They talk about the lack of danger in everyday life, and crave for such. Another patron in the bar, Bob Speakes, is a skydiving instructor and suggests that they give skydiving a try. The three are all talk and no action, but finally agree to do it after Bob and Carla talk them into it, Carla more like goading them. The next day, the three are up in a plane ready for the jump. They all chicken out, the first men ever in Bob's history of teaching that have ever chickened out. However, the three make a pact that they will say to the gang at the bar that they did it, keeping the story nice and simple: they jumped, the chutes opened, they landed. The two problems are Cliff, who needs to embellish the story to pump up his own so-called extraordinary achievements, and Woody, who has never told a lie in his life. Carla doesn't believe that they did it, until Woody, who is nervous in the lie, says that they did. He manages to convince Carla in the lie. Sam is jealous of the three as he's always wanted to skydive, and talks the three of them into taking him up for a jump. They can't weasel out of it, but especially Woody feels that given another chance, he could do it and the lies he told would no longer be lies. Back up in the plane the following day, the three chicken out once again and the truth comes out that they didn't jump before. But Sam also chickens out, and suggests they continue with the lie. Back at the bar, the guys talk up a storm, and Rebecca suggests that they do one more jump holding a banner advertising Cheers, the act filmed by a camera crew. They all talk her out of the idea until she infers that the macho bravado of the act might be enough for her to go to bed with Sam, which is enough for him to agree. The third time out, the four chicken out again. However at the last minute, Woody, who is feeling guilty about the lies and deceit, decides to jump, which he does with abandon. Sam is buoyed by Woody's action, and he talks Norm into jumping with him. They do it. Cliff, alone in the plane with Bob and Rick the pilot, has no intention of jumping. However Bob has ways of making people jump without them knowing it, and Cliff is out of the plane. After all is said and done, the possible Rebecca liaison with a skydiver: she has a date with Bob, the instructor.
5 January 1989Sam gets a call from an old flame, Judy Marlowe. Sam and Judy haven't seen each other in 15 years. Back then, Judy, a divorcée, and Sam spent much of their time together with Judy's young daughter Laurie. Upon meeting again, Sam is relieved to see that Judy is still a knock-out. What he doesn't expect though is that Laurie is now all grown up and is equally as beautiful as her mother. Sam being Sam has the hots for both Judy and Laurie, and beyond the warnings of Frasier, tries to date both. Despite the fact that weak Sam can't resist Laurie, he is saved only by the fact that Laurie announces that she is engaged. At least in Sam and the guys' minds, he tried to do the wrong thing! Meanwhile, Rebecca hires Woody as a clown to entertain at a corporate children's party. At the last minute, Woody is called in for a real acting job and has to ditch the party clown job. As the one who suggested she hire Woody, Frasier is demanded by Rebecca to take Woody's place. What Woody forgets to tell Frasier however is the handkerchief trick - pulling out the handkerchief from the clown's lapel pocket makes his pants fall down around his ankles. What's worse for the unsuspecting Frasier is that he has been wearing a new pair of french cut underwear that Lilith bought for him. He makes it through the party all right, when Rebecca tells him that Woody called to warn her about the handkerchief, to which Frasier breathes a big sigh of relief since he took off the uncomfortable pair of underwear and was going au naturel. Unfortunately he doesn't quite make it out of the house party without pulling on the handkerchief.
12 January 1989Cheers is in competition with Gary's Old Towne Tavern once again, this time it's the annual Bloody Mary contest open to all bars in the Greater Boston area. Cheers won the competition the first two years, but Gary's has won the last four, ever since it opened. Rebecca has at least managed to get the organizers to hold the contest at Cheers this year. Sam in particular is in Bloody Mary mode, even getting Norm to stop drinking beer and start sampling Bloody Mary's. Sam thinks one of the secret ingredients of Gary's Bloody Mary's is black cardamom, which Carla manages to find in a store in Chinatown, this being the last anywhere, she states, on the eastern seaboard. Unfortunately Woody is allergic to black cardamom causing him to sneeze their stash all over the place. Rebecca's tact is to get a sample of Gary's Bloody Mary, which she plans to take to the corporate lab for analysis. Before doing so, everyone in the bar tries it just to see if it really is the best. It is and they say so, their statements captured by hidden camera, which Gary uses later to create a television commercial. But back with the task at hand, Gary's Bloody Mary does indeed contain black cardamom and allergic Woody sneezes and drops what's left of the sample. Knowing that they can't beat Gary by the quality of the Bloody Mary, the Cheers group decides other methods are in order. Woody, the actor, decides to infiltrate Gary's, going undercover dressed as a nun. A nun in a bar isn't quite the right mix, and the gang at Gary's quickly discovers Woody's plan and deliver him back tho Cheers bound, gagged and hung upside down. The gang at Cheers chastises Woody for being so dumb as to use a nun's outfit, and as such Woody storms out of Cheers for good. Looking for another job, he heads to Gary's. Gary is a bit skeptical, as are some of his regulars, but this is plain, simple Woody who would never tell a lie, and Gary gives him a job tending bar. Woody's tenure is going well at Gary's for a week, that is until Woody forgets to tell Gary about a change in time for the Bloody Mary contest, the contest having already started when Woody tells Gary. Yes, this stunt was all part of Woody's grand plan. Unfortunately Gary does make it to the contest just before they announce the winner, the judge allowing Gary to enter. Gary's Old Towne Tavern wins again. Just as Gary leaves Cheers, Woody unmasks himself as the judge. The contest time did not really change. This act still was part of Woody's grand plan. Unfortunately Gary drops back into the bar and discovers the truth and eventually wins the contest, again. Or so everyone thinks except the grand planner herself, Carla. Carla fixed this whole secret contest over a year ago, the real contest taking place later. Cheers may not win then, but at least one thing won't happen: Gary won't win, Gary won't win, Gary won't win...
19 January 1989Frasier is nervous about a speech he has to make at a seminar. Carla suggests a device she uses: picture everyone naked, but wearing black socks. She says that you just can't help but laugh at the picture. It works. As Frasier practices it with people in general, he gets more and more and more relaxed. Perhaps he gets a little too relaxed as he forgets to attend the seminar. Meanwhile, Rebecca is asked by yet another Vice-President at the company to do a menial task: Mr. Sheridan needs someone to house-sit and look after his dog Buster while he's away on a trip. As usual, Rebecca agrees, although this time she does so reluctantly in part because looking after such a large house by herself spooks her out a bit. Sam sees this as the perfect opportunity to get her into bed by visiting her at the house and playing on her insecurities. However as Sam enters the house, Buster finds an open door to leave. So Rebecca, Sam and the rest of the gang at the bar are placed on Buster search detail. Thrown into the mix are an attack dog named Satan, who looks like Buster and who Woody finds as a replacement "just in case", and the fact that Mr. Sheridan is on his way home a day early.
2 February 1989Cliff is saddled with the task of training a new postal employee, and he's not too happy about a rookie getting in his way. However he changes his tune when he meets her: Margaret 'Maggie' O'Keefe. Maggie is as passionate about the post office as Cliff and she vows, with his mentoring, to be the second best postal employee behind him. Maggie's post office passion transfers itself to Cliff, Cliff as surprised and as nervous as he's ever been to this revelation as it will be his first time with a woman. At their scheduled rendezvous at an out of the way motel, things are going well until a policeman comes by asking the motel guests about the stolen postal truck, obviously the one Maggie used to drive to the motel. She talks Cliff into lying for her. Although the story they tell the postal authorities works, Maggie no longer feels the same for Cliff since they sullied the good name of the postal service. They decide to tell the truth, resulting in her being fired and Cliff demoted for six weeks, delivering mail in "dreaded zone 19", the zone with the rottweilers. At least he can be with Maggie once again. But being the devoted postal employee that she is, Maggie has other things in mind. She's off to Canada to work for the Canadian postal service and she wants Cliff to go with her. But not even the love of a good woman is enough for Cliff to abandon the U.S. and its postal service. Meanwhile, in Sam's never ending quest to bed Rebecca, Frasier suggests that he find the one sensory stimulus that turns Rebecca's crank. She admits to Sam that she does have one, it being a song from her teen-aged years. Sam discovers that it's
The Righteous Brothers' "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling". Rebecca manages to disguise the fact that that is the song in front of Sam, but pours out her sexual emotions on the first man she sees after, that being Norm.
9 February 1989Rebecca is asked once again by one of the corporate bigwigs to organize a party. This time, Vice-President Walter Gaines wants her to throw a luncheon at his house as a European homecoming for his daughter Kelly. Rebecca drags along Sam and Woody to tend bar at the get together. Sam has a great time as he figures out the way to a good tip is to tell an 'ex-famous-pitcher now doing menial labor' hard luck story. Woody doesn't have as good a time as he butts heads with Kelly's boyfriend Nash, he and Nash taking an instant dislike to each other. It goes as far as them making a date for a fight at Cheers the following day. It can't really be called a fight as Nash decks Woody with one swift, quick blow. Kelly finds out about the fight and comes to the bar, although she's too late to stop it. Sam and Carla and finally Woody think that Woody dating Kelly would be a good way to get back at Nash. He goes about it the old fashioned way by asking Mr. Gaines for his permission. Although Mr. Gaines admires Woody's old fashioned approach, he basically laughs at Woody for his presumption. But to Woody's surprise, Kelly, who's opinion is the one who really counts, decides to go out with Woody as she feels unappreciated by Nash. Kelly and Woody end up having a nice date, at an event unfamiliar to Kelly: a monster truck pull. Nash finds out about the date, and he isn't mad as he understands Kelly only did it to make a point. Kelly and Nash make up - or so everyone thinks. Kelly comes back to Woody saying that she had more fun with Woody than she ever did with Nash. Woody has a whole new unrefined life left to show her.
16 February 1989Ludlow is Carla's son, fathered by Frasier's mentor, Dr. Bennett Ludlow. Ludlow has some of his father in him: he's an intellectual and enjoys cultural things in life, like the opera and classical music, unlike Carla's other children. Frasier and Lilith want to take Ludlow to the opera, both because they want to help Ludlow further his interest in the arts, but also to find out if they are parent material as they're thinking about having children of their own. Ludlow is enamored with the opera and Frasier and Lilith are equally as enamored with Ludlow and want to do more cultural things with him. Carla feels like she's losing him to another social class. After a week of Frasier and Lilith doing everything with Ludlow, Carla puts her foot down when they want to take him out to the most exclusive restaurant in town, if only because she wants some time with her own son. But Carla gives in yet again. However Sam talks Frasier and Lilith into asking Carla along as well. At dinner, the Cranes ultimately see another side of Ludlow - after all, Ludlow is only six years old and does have some of Carla's genes as well. The dinner goes so poorly for Frasier and Lilith, Frasier reconsiders his initial thought of wanting to be a father. Despite that statement, Lilith has news: she's pregnant. The Cranes are elated about their situation. With others in the bar, Woody is going to his first country club dinner with Kelly, and wants to drive there instead of taking the bus like he and Kelly usually do. Carless, he asks Sam, the man who lives for his Vette, if he can borrow his car. Initially Sam laughs in his face for even asking, but Woody somehow manages to talk Sam into it. But Kelly and Woody are going to end up with a chaperone for the evening. In actuality, Sam's Vette is going to have it's owner not let it out of his sight.
23 February 1989Sam is dating a young woman named Erin. Sam meets Erin on the pretense that he is totally into athletics - tennis, hiking, cycling, running to name a few activities - since she implies that's what she's into. After a few dates, he becomes so tired that he feels he needs to call it off with her. But to maintain his macho pride, he tells her that he wants to break it off with her since she is just slowing him down. Ironically, she says that that might be a good thing since she really is looking for someone with who to lay back in bed and share a bubble bath. A little less active are Norm and Rebecca. Norm hasn't had a painting job in months. Rebecca just had another interview at corporate, but seems to be is getting nowhere in the company. So she suggests to Norm that she use her considerable marketing skills to help him market his painting company. Norm is reluctant to do so, until Rebecca threatens him with something called his bar tab. Rebecca has an expensive marketing plan up her sleeve. In Rebecca's mind, Norm's company is her new career when they get their first new client based on the marketing. When she finds out that she didn't get the new job at corporate and lost it to someone less qualified, she decides to go down to corporate to tell off the CEO, Mr. Anawalt. After she leaves, Norm finds out they lost their one and only client. Norm manages to tell her before she tells off Anawalt, but she decides that she needs to stick to her guns this time and take a stand. She accuses Anawalt of incompetence in terms of his marketing decisions, especially in the choice of the marketing executives. Instead of firing her, he admires her initiative and promotes her. Just then, the FBI come in and haul Anawalt away in handcuffs on charges of insider trading, which he admits is the truth. Rebecca is back to overseeing the slinging of beer at Cheers.
2 March 1989Rebecca and the company are forcing Woody to take a vacation, something he has not done since he's started working at Cheers. The company is sending him to Italy, and he's not happy about it. But he goes. He ends up having a great vacation, but not in Italy. He missed his flight and spent the entire week at the airport, meeting people from all over the world. Meanwhile, Lilith is well into her pregnancy and is becoming the stereotypical Earth Mother. Frasier is embarrassed by the way she's acting. However he changes his tune when he listens to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. He then becomes Earth Father. As part of this revelation, the Cranes relinquish the materialism of their lives and decide to live out in the wilderness in a cabin Frasier intends to build, and live solely off the land. Realizing that they are true urbanites, Sam convinces them to try it for a week in a friend's cabin first before making up their minds for good. They agree. They start out with the best of intentions, but nerves soon start to fray since neither brought matches and they can't start a fire. Frasier spends the entire time at the cabin trying to create a spark with two rocks. He is unsuccessful. They quickly and simultaneously come to the same conclusion: they want to go home, to the decadent, materialistic world they love so much.
Season 7, Episode 17: Hot Rocks
16 March 1989Sam and Rebecca each have a date to attend the same black tie event at the USS Constitution, and both are stood up. Sam suggests that they go together, but Rebecca would rather do anything else than go on a date with Sam. Sam goes alone and after the event brings back to the bar Admiral
William J. Crowe Jr., Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The admiral has a good time at the bar, as does everyone there hearing his stories. After he leaves, Rebecca is in a panic when her $32,000 borrowed diamond earrings that she had left in a tumbler in a her office go missing. She thinks the admiral has stolen them as he was the only person alone in her office during the evening. These are treasonous words in the mind of patriotic American, Cliff. As she turns everything upside down in her office in search of the earrings, Rebecca says she will do anything to get the earrings back, and yes, that anything includes sleeping with Sam. Carla suggests to Sam that they recreate the scene of the supposed crime. In doing so, Sam does indeed locate the earrings in a tumbler outside in the bar. Sam is ready to collect on his reward, but the look of total disgust on Rebecca's face leads instead to Sam and Rebecca discussing the nature of their current relationship and the fact that both react in knee-jerks to each other now out of habit. They vow to clear the slate and start over with each other in the way they view each other. Their discussion ends with a test kiss, which places Sam in a higher light in Rebecca's mind, although she doesn't want him to know that.
30 March 1989Sam hits on a beautiful woman in the bar, she who promptly shoots him down. She is Dr. Sheila Rydell, a clinical psychiatrist and a colleague of the Drs. Crane. Because she shot him down, Sam wants her more. Cliff suggests that he approach her on a professional level, that he should make an appointment to see her with some psychiatric problem. Despite the touchy nature of the issue itself, Carla convinces Sam to use the problem of impotence, as all women love to help a man rectify such a problem. He does go in to see her at her office and she sees right through his story. When he confesses that he made up the story just to see her again and to ask her out, she accepts, thinking that the clinical part of her job is creeping a little too much into her personal life. They have a good time at dinner, but it's Sam that can't separate her personal and professional life. She admits to him that she does have a negative professional opinion of him, that he is an aging Lothario who only has sex in his life. But she still wants to sleep with him since she suspects he's good at it. Sam is offended and promptly ends their date. He's a bit depressed because he thinks that the doctor may be right. But Rebecca, after some thought, convinces Sam that he has other interests in life, namely the Three Stooges.
6 April 1989Rebecca, self professed as "too darn beautiful", and is looking to Lilith as her new role model in getting ahead in the business world. However what works for Lilith works for Lilith: corporate offers her the job that Rebecca wants. Woody is getting closer to corporate as well as he dates Mr Gaines' daughter, Kelly. It's Kelly's birthday and Mr. Gaines invites Woody to her party. The gang at the bar thinks he's doing it just to put Woody in a bad light in Kelly's eyes as Woody can't afford to buy Kelly an expensive gift to which she's accustomed. In fact, she does get one expensive new car after another as birthday gifts. Frasier suggests a gift from the heart. As such, Woody writes a love song and sings it for Kelly. As much as Kelly likes the song, she is still wondering where her present is. As much as he loves Kelly, he thinks this may be the end of their relationship. He tries to match her other gifts by buying her an inexpensive piece of jewelry, something that he can't really afford. He finally gets through to her that he is poor and that an Automated Teller Machine is not an infinite source of money. True love comes through. But love is a two-way street: Kelly was going to buy Woody a Porsche for his birthday, but now...
13 April 1989There are a lot of transactions taking place in the bar this evening. Despite Rebecca's concern about its legality and its affect on the bar's license, Sam organizes a basketball betting pool worth $500, $125 for each of the four quarters. Two reluctant bettors are Woody, who doesn't like to lose money or take money from his friends, and Rebecca, who eventually sees that $500 is more than she normally makes in an evening's work. Woody promptly wins each of the first three quarters, irking the guys by first being smug about it, then acting nonchalant about it. However the winner of the last quarter is Rebecca, who is promptly caught by an off duty police officer in the bar. Under pressure, she tells the detective the money is not illegal gambling winnings, but earned moneys from her work as a prostitute. The second transaction happens between the Cranes and Norm, the former who have hired the latter to decorate their unborn child's nursery in as neutral and unbaby-like a scheme as possible. And the third sets of transactions happen primarily between the gang at the bar and the local florist. It's Carla's second wedding anniversary to Eddie, and she is without Eddie for the evening as he's on the road with the ice show. But Carla is certain that he'll come through with a romantic gesture for their anniversary regardless. He's got five and a half hours until midnight and nothing yet has happened. Fearing that Eddie won't come through, the guys buy Carla some roses, but she knows they're not from Eddie as the guys have signed the card "Edward", whereas Eddie's real name is Guy. Then sensing that Eddie may actually forget, Carla sends herself some flowers, signing the card with Eddie's name. However, her fraud is discovered when the florist calls the bar to say Carla's credit card has been rejected. Then daughter Sarafina calls the bar saying that Eddie has sent a package home and that Anthony's going to bring the package to the bar. It happens only to be Eddie's laundry. As Carla resigns herself to the fact that Eddie did forget, he calls the bar to wish her a happy anniversary. Apparently, he was on his way home when he was called back for an unscheduled rehearsal. Carla is relieved. However, she suspects that Sam may have called Eddie to remind him. Sam won't tell. Perhaps he can't since Carla has placed a curse on his tongue if he did warn Eddie.
27 April 1989Rebecca's estranged sister, Susan, is in Boston to shoot a commercial. She's an actress specializing in horror movies. She stops by the bar in the off chance that Rebecca might want to see her. Rebecca doesn't. Sam finds out that much of the sisterly discord is from the Susan stealing Rebecca's boyfriends when they were younger. Sam uses this information in his attempt to bed both sisters. He tells Susan that Rebecca and he are an item, after which she agrees to go out with him. He tells Rebecca that Susan is interested in him, to which Rebecca replies that to get back at Susan, Sam should break off their date and Rebecca would go out with him in Susan's place. So Sam postpones his date with Susan to take out Rebecca, with his date with Susan now later in the evening. However Susan can't wait and appears at the same time Sam is supposed to go out with Rebecca. For Rebecca, this is the last straw with Susan. Rebecca pulls out a gun and shoots Susan. Sam is mortified. But Rebecca isn't, nor is the rest of the gang at the bar, nor is Susan, who is still alive. Susan's acting talents came into good use as it was all a gag on Sam. Rebecca and Susan planned the whole shooting incident to get back at Sam for his come ons to both. In fact, Rebecca and Susan are grateful to Sam as this was the act needed to bring them back together as loving sisters.
