The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Jack Warden: Mike Tarkanian
Photos
Quotes
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Fozzie : [pleading] We'll do better next time.
News Editor : Next time? Next time!
[pounds fist into desk]
News Editor : What makes you think there's gonna be a next time?
Kermit : Well, if there isn't it's gonna be a real short movie.
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Gonzo : Stop the presses!
News Editor : Why? What happened?
Gonzo : I don't know. I just always wanted to say that.
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News Editor : Did you read these headlines? Huh?
[reads newspaper]
News Editor : "JEWEL HEIST ON MAIN STREET!" And it's nice bold print, isn't it?
Kermit : Yes, it's very easy to read.
News Editor : Shut up now.
Kermit : [sheepish] Sorry.
News Editor : "Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen," that's what it says in The Times. And here's The Herald, "Fashion Queen Of London Robbed." And last, but not least
[chuckles]
News Editor : here's our cute little banner story, "Identical Twins Join The Chronicle Staff." Now I ask you, which would you buy?
Fozzie : I read the one that has "Dear Abby".
News Editor : OH!
[News Editor pounds fist into desk in frustration, causing Gonzo to jump with fright up to a light fixture]
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News Editor : How could you miss a story like *that?* It was right under your noses, practically bit you on the seat of your pants! There's just no excuse!
Fozzie : I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise?
News Editor : A *raise?* A *RAISE?* Oh, I'll give you a raise, all right!
[Bangs his desk, sending them all flying]
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Kermit : Gee, Mr. Tarkanian. We thought identical twins working on a newspaper would make an interesting story.
Fozzie : Yeah.
News Editor : Well, it doesn't. Especially since you two guys don't look anything alike!
Kermit : Well, that's 'cause Fozzie's not wearing his hat. Oh, Fozzie, put your hat back on.
Fozzie : Oh. Yes, sir.
[Fozzie puts his hat on]
Fozzie : See?
News Editor : [looks at them carefully] Oh, yeahhhh. I can see it now.