Convoy (1978)

Kris Kristofferson: Rubber Duck

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Melissa : Why do they call you the Duck?

  Rubber Duck : Because it rhymes with "luck." See, my daddy always told me to be just like a duck. Stay smooth on the surface and paddle like the devil underneath!

• Rubber Duck : You ever seen a duck that couldn't swim? Quack, quack!

• Rubber Duck : Piss on you, and piss on your law.

• Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : You oughta be shot right where you're standing! So help me if I had a gun, I'd do it myself!

  Rubber Duck : That badge would make it alright, wouldn't it?

• Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : [On the CB]  Breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine. This is the bear in the air, officer Lyle Wallace calling Rubber Jerk in that rattlin' piece of black crap at your side door. Come on!

  Rubber Duck : Please don't be using that kind of language on the air, Lyle. Especially don't be using it regarding my beautiful black truck. Over.

  Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : That thing you call a truck is the worst pile of garbage I ever had the misfortune of writing a citation on.

• Melissa : But they're all following you.

  Rubber Duck : [looks at Melissa then road]  No, they ain't. I'm just in front of them.

• Rubber Duck : Here's the plan: When we get to the pass, we're gonna put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline® an' an extra ration o' rum for the men. That should do it.

• Reverend Sloane : [On the CB]  That's a big 10-4. You got the Reverend Joshua Duncan Sloane, Church of the Wayfaring Stranger here. I don't read nothin' in scripture that says thou shall not put the pedal to the metal.

  Rubber Duck : Welcome aboard there, Reverend. We could sure use some spiritual help here. Think you can handle it?

  Reverend Sloane : Oh, it's a pleasure, our pleasure. We're just tryin' to do a good job, Brother Rubber.

  Rubber Duck : [to Melissa]  Brother Rubber? What is that guy's name? He ain't no Reverend.

• Melissa : Well I think I've had just about enough of this, thank you very much. I'll think I'll take my things and GET OUT. If you'll pull over to the side, I'm sure I can hitch a ride very easily... Weren't you listening to me? I said I'm ready to get out!

  Rubber Duck : You want out? We're being chased. You want out? Jump.

  Melissa : You want to add the Mann Act to your collection?

  Rubber Duck : Mann Act's for 18 year olds, not someone who's seen the better side of thirty!

• Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : I am the law. Don't you understand, I represent the law.

  Rubber Duck : Well piss on ya, and piss on your law.

• Rubber Duck : [first and repeated line]  Son of a bitch!

• Rubber Duck : [On meeting Lyle Wallace]  Jesus Christ.

  Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : Hello, R.D.

  Rubber Duck : Boys, this is the Papa Bear.

• Rubber Duck : How much is it, Lyle?

  Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : Fifty. Each.

  Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen' : You rob me, bastard.

  Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : Sixty.

  Rubber Duck : Hey, take it easy, this ain't an auction, man.

• Rubber Duck : [to Lyle Wallace on the CB after he has crashed his car]  Hey, until you get a little better control over that machinery, I'd suggest you lay off them acrobatics.

• Chuck Arnoldi : We'd like to know, is this convoy some sort of protest demonstration? And if it is, what's its purpose?

  Rubber Duck : Purpose of a convoy is to keep movin'.

• Widow Woman : Oh, Melissa, this is the Duck. She needs a ride.

  Rubber Duck : What happened to the XKE?

  Melissa : I sold it.

  Violet : How do you two know each other?

  Melissa : This is the guy I told you about. The one that told the cop that I was nude driving.

  Violet : Oh, I should have known.

• Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen' : My handle's Love Machine. You know why they call me Love Machine? Quadraphonic sound, colour TV, I got a big bar sitting right behind me. Now, get this, a warm-water water bed. All the creature comforts, friend.'

  Rubber Duck : Hey, Love Machine, you ain't hauling Go-Go Girls, are you?

• Violet : Come on, honey, I got a little birthday surprise for you.

  Rubber Duck : I bet you do.

  [to Melissa] 

  Rubber Duck : Don't you leave without me.

  [walks off with Violet, squeezing her behind] 

  Rubber Duck : You ain't mad at me, are you?

  Violet : Me mad at you?

• Rubber Duck : Give me something to wipe this shit off my face, will you?

• Chuck Arnoldi : Breaker 1-9. Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck. This is Chuck Arnoldi. Can I talk to you again, please?

  Rubber Duck : Uh, this is the Duck, Chuck.

• Rubber Duck : Jesus, I hope he makes it. He's going through some bad country for a black truck driver.

• Rubber Duck : Take a look at yourself. You're just a broke-down old bribe-takin' piece of meanness. You tell me, old man. What good are you?

  Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth : I am the law! Don't you understand? I represent the law!

• Rubber Duck : You're all wet.

  Melissa : Is that so?

  Rubber Duck : It's becoming.

• Melissa : You really love this truck, don't you?

  Rubber Duck : I certainly do *not* love this truck. You oughta meet Ramblin' Jack Elliott. Talk about a man who loves his truck, bumper to bumper. He named his dog "Kenworth". I like knowin' how she runs but, uh, it's really the driving!