Capricorn One (1977)

Elliott Gould: Robert Caulfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robert Caulfield : Mr Albaine, how much do you charge to dust a field?

  Albain : Twenty five dollars.

  Robert Caulfield : I'd like to hire your plane.

  Albain : That'll be a hundred dollars.

  Robert Caulfield : You said you charged twenty five?

  Albain : Twenty five dollars to dust a field, but you ain't got no field because you ain't no farmer, which means you ain't poor and I think you're a pervert!

  Robert Caulfield : Okay, one hundred.

  Albain : One hundred and twenty five.

  Robert Caulfield : What?

  Albain : Because you said yes to a hundred too quick, which means you can afford a hundred and twenty five.

• Robert Caulfield : You wouldn't know sincerity if it ran over you.

  Judy Drinkwater : Not if you were driving it.

• Kay Brubaker : You haven't found what you're looking for. You're embarrassed about bothering me again. However, there are one or two questions more you'd like to ask me. It's something personal and you won't bother me any more.

  Robert Caulfield : I haven't found what I'm looking for. I feel embarrassed about bothering you again. However, there are one or two more questions I'd like to ask you. It's something personal and I won't bother you any more.

• Robert Caulfield : Look, when a reporter tells his assignment editor that he thinks he may be on to something that could be really big, the assignment editor is supposed to say: "You've got forty eight hours, kids, and you better come up with something good or it's going to be your neck!" That's what he's supposed to say, I saw it in a movie.

• Walter Loughlin : Listen to me and listen good. I don't like you, Caulfield. You're ambitious. You think the way to get ahead is to come up with the scoop of the century. Woodward and Bernstein were good reporters, that's how they did it. Not by telling me they've located Patty Hearst three times like you did or that brilliant piece of investigative journalism you pulled off by finding an eye witness to the second gunman in the Kennedy assassination. The small fact that the man had been in a mental institution at the time never deterred you, not 'scoop' Caulfield. Now most reporters are like me. They are plodders. They spend a lot of their time checking little things... like *facts*. They cover mundane stories like wars and trials and hearings. You never seem to have enough time in your busy schedule to stoop so low as to cover a story. You occupy your time with tips from people who never existed. Driving your car into water and claiming it wasn't your fault. Getting shot at by unseen gunmen. Now I really hate to interrupt your meteoric career with something so plebeian as a legitimate story. However, a train load of propane gas had the bad taste to derail near Galveston and there's a whole town that just might blow up. So it would be just really peachy of you if you would join your film crew that's waiting for you on the plane at this very moment while we speak.

  Robert Caulfield : That was some speech.

  Walter Loughlin : I thought so.

• Judy Drinkwater : I'll fix you some coffee, then you can jump me.

  Robert Caulfield : There's no other one besides White Bluff?

  Judy Drinkwater : No, except one abandoned base they used for training during World War Two. Jackson. There's nothing there now. Don't you want to jump me?

  Robert Caulfield : Of course I do. Where's Jackson?

  Judy Drinkwater : About three hundred miles directly west. I think I'm going to get angry with you.

  Robert Caulfield : Do you have any money on you?

  Judy Drinkwater : You want me to pay you?

  Robert Caulfield : How much?

  Judy Drinkwater : About a hundred. Why don't I just leave it on the dresser in the morning?

  Robert Caulfield : Give it to me now.

  Judy Drinkwater : In advance? That's the height of conceit.

  Robert Caulfield : Please, and your car keys.

• Robert Caulfield : Somebody took a shot at me.

  Walter Loughlin : When?

  Robert Caulfield : Yesterday.

  Walter Loughlin : Thank God I've got an alibi.

• Robert Caulfield : You in charge here?

  Albain : See that sign there?

  Robert Caulfield : Yes.

  Albain : Well, read it.

  Robert Caulfield : I did.

  Albain : Out loud.

  Robert Caulfield : A&A Crop Dusting Service.

  Albain : You wanna know who I am?

  Robert Caulfield : I bet you're one of the A's.

  Albain : But which one? I bet you can't answer that question, smartass.

  Robert Caulfield : The first one.

  Albain : Wrong.

  Robert Caulfield : Can I have one more guess?

  Albain : You got it.

  Robert Caulfield : The second one.

  Albain : Wrong. I'm both of them. My name is AlBaine. Now, I got a son. You know, the other A was for him but he don't like to fly. He became a lawyer. I think he's a pervert so I took the A away from him. You want to speak to someone in charge, you're speaking to the both of them.

  Robert Caulfield : My name is Caulfield.

  Albain : Hey, I can't help that.

• Albain : Now what the hell is your friend doing here?

  Robert Caulfield : He's lost.

  Albain : He robbed a bank or something?

  Robert Caulfield : No.

  Albain : Well, I get a third.

  Robert Caulfield : What?

  Albain : We find him, I get a third of the loot. Now keep your goddamn head down.