- Detective Larry: I talked to the manager of the drive in. His name is Austin Johnson, and you're really gonna like him. He's what you'd call your perfect asshole.
- [last lines]
- Voice-over: [voice] Ladies and gentlemen, this is the manager. Do not panic. There is a murderer loose in the theater. I repeat, do not panic. The police are on the way.
- Detective Mike: We have a witness, who saw you crawl out of your car and over to the victim's car. What were you doing? Pissing on the hubcaps?
- Orville: I just wanted to beat my meat!
- Detective Larry: You're gonna run your business from the slammer before long, if you don't shut up!
- Austin Johnson: Yeah? Well you either charge me, lock me up and get off of my back- or let me go, because I don't care if half the goddamn valley gets chopped up! Now what are you gonna do?
- Detective Larry: [pause] Get... outta... here!
- Austin Johnson: [watching a cop at the police station eating a ham sandwich] You better watch it, you might be eating your father.
- Germy: My name is Garmey, but my friends call me Germy.
- Detective Larry: Do you have many friends Germy?
- Germy: Leedo and Hobo. They were the elephants at the carnival...
- [sadly]
- Germy: but they're all gone now.
- Austin Johnson: [refering to the owner of the drive-in theater] Van Hewson thinks I married this "toilet"!
- Police Det. Mike Leary: They may have closed the carnival, but the freaks are still hanging around and we just talked to two of the choicest ones.
- Detective Larry: [Dressed in disguise as a woman while they stakeout a suspect] There he is, he's looking this way. Kiss me you fool!
- Police Det. Mike Leary: Oh get away from me, you idiot!
- Detective Larry: He bought it.
- Police Det. Mike Leary: I hope so. We don't need anymore of that!
- Detective Larry: Anything for my pension and welfare.
- Police Det. Mike Leary: Well just stay on your side of the car.
- Detective Larry: My God, married only two hours and you don't want anything more to do with me!
- Police Det. Mike Leary: Well, it could be your bad breath.