The Muppet Show (1976–1981)
Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Waldorf, Rowlf, Link Hogthrob, The Swedish Chef, Muppet Newsman, Dr. Teeth, The Newsman, Swedish Chef, Rowlf the Dog, Gloat, Jim, Zeke, Pig, Whatnot Dancers, Accordion Player, Beaver, Ernie, Jugband Member, Newsman, Prairie Dog, Australian, Baby, Beaker clones, Beautiful Day Monster, Black Rooster, Blue Frackle, Boppity, Boston Pops Conductor, Brown Bear, Bug, Bun-Bun Brother, Butch the Tiger, Cantaloupe, Clodhopper, Construction Worker, Dancers, Doglion, Droop, Eel, Fazoob, Flower-Eating Monster, Gills Brother, Gingerbread Man, Girl Dancer, Gypsy, Hillbilly Singer, King Rupert the Second, Lefty, Lenny the Lizard, Leo, Link Hoghrob, Link Hogthtrob, Mahna Mahna, Marvin, Mary Louise, Mean Mama, Miss Kitty, Miss Kitty's Dancing Partner, Muppaphones, Muppet Newspig, Nigel, Old Man Singer, One of the Students, Piano, Pigs, Pretty Monster, Rat, Robot Kermit, Rover Joe, Rowlf's Dancing Partner, Scientist, Shaky Sanchez, Silver Beak, Singer, Singing Fireman, Slim Wilson, Tennis Balls, The Muppaphones, The Muppet Newsman, Timmy Monster, Turkish Whatnot, Viking Pig, Villager, Villain, Wally Whoopie, Whatnot, Whatnot Dancer
Photos
Quotes
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Miss Piggy : Methinks thou doth protest too much.
Kermit : What?
Miss Piggy : Shakespeare.
Kermit : Sounds more like Bacon. From a ham.
Miss Piggy : How would you like a pork chop? Hi-yah!
[karate chops Kermit]
Miss Piggy : You always hurt the one you love.
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Miss Piggy : But I love him.
Rowlf : How could you love him? You're a nurse.
Miss Piggy : That may be true, but I am a woman first.
Rowlf : No, you're not. You're a pig first. Nurse second. I don't think woman made the top 10.
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Kermit : Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Muppet Show!
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Rita Moreno : Kermit I was wondering if we could just forget the cue cards and just ad lib it.
Kermit the Frog : Ad lib it? Yes I don't mind doing that but there are others who may take offense.
Rita Moreno : Like who?
Kermit the Frog : Like the guy who holds the cue cards.
Sweetums : Nice lady not want Sweetums to hold cue cards?
Rita Moreno : Uh no.
Sweetums : Nice lady want Sweetums to hold something else?
Rita Moreno : Sure you can hold anything you want.
Sweetums : Great! That best offer Sweetums have all week.
[Sweetums picks up Rita like a football and walks off with her while Kermit shrieks]
Kermit the Frog : That's the problem with guests on this show. They seem to get carried away.
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[the Swedish Chef is cooking, Miss Piggy appears]
Miss Piggy : I'm looking for Foofoo! Foofoo my dog, you idiot!
Swedish Chef : [cooking hot dogs, misunderstands] The dog is in the pot!
Miss Piggy : WHAT? You cook Foo-foo?
[tries to karate chop the Chef, but he blocks her]
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Kermit : And now a man who needs no introduction, so what am I doing out here?
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Miss Piggy : [as Nurse Piggy] It's too late, Doctor Bob. We've lost him.
Rowlf : [as Doctor Bob] Well, he couldn't have gone far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.
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Robot Kermit : Hey, listen you, how about you and me getting together and makin' some ste-e-e-am heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?
Miss Piggy : Snuggle bunny? Why, uh...
Robot Kermit : Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs.
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Fozzie : Kermit. Kermit. This time I have really got it. I have re-mastered the art of handling hecklers.
Kermit : Oh, you think so, huh?
Fozzie : Oh, I know so. I know so.
Kermit : OK, I tell you what - you tell a joke and I will heckle you.
Fozzie : Great.
Kermit : But, Fozzie - I expect a great comeback.
Fozzie : Right.
[clears throat]
Fozzie : Ahh, my cousin's so dumb he thinks Eggs Benedict's a mafia gangster.
Kermit : I've seen cheeseburgers funnier then that.
[Fozzie pounds Kermit with a rubber chicken]
Fozzie : What do you think, huh? Too subtle?
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Muppet Newsman : Here is a Muppet News Flash.
[runs to the desk]
Muppet Newsman : There is no news tonight.
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Beauregard : Kermit! Kermit! I had a dream and it was so real! I... what does it mean when you dream people are walking on your head?
Kermit : It means you're sleeping on the floor!
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Fozzie : [the phone rings] I'll get it!
[Picks up]
Fozzie : Muppet Show backstage.
[Thick white smoke comes out of the phone]
Kermit : Fozzie, who was that?
Fozzie : [Coughing] The fire department.
Kermit : [Towards the camera] I think this is what's called a running gag.
[At that the Muppet Newsman runs by towards the stage]
Fozzie : [Pointing at him] No, THAT'S what's called a running gag.
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Waldorf : [looking down from the balcony] He shouldn't have jumped. The show wasn't that bad.
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Kermit : Me, not crazy? I hired the others!
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Swedish Chef : Bork Bork Bork!