Columbo (TV Series)

Candidate for Crime (1973)

Jackie Cooper: Nelson Hayward

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lt. Columbo : So far, sir, we don't have a thing.

  Nelson Hayward : Well, that's heartening.

  Lt. Columbo : Officially, that is.

  Nelson Hayward : And unofficially?

  Lt. Columbo : Unofficially, we don't have anything either.

• Nelson Hayward : Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant, don't misunderstand. You're a very nice man, I like you very much, but I would hate to have to depend upon you if I was in a hurry for something.

  Lt. Columbo : Geez, you know that's what my wife says...

  Nelson Hayward : I'm sure she does. Get to the point, Lieutenant.

  Lt. Columbo : Right.

• Vickie Hayward : Sometimes you frighten me.

  Nelson Hayward : What are you talking about?

  Vickie Hayward : That act you put on.

  Nelson Hayward : Act?

  Vickie Hayward : Mm-hmm, when you heard about Harry's being dead.

  Nelson Hayward : I was shocked!

  Vickie Hayward : That's what frightens me! You were so convincing. I know how you despised him!

• Lt. Columbo : Would you believe it? The first thing I did this morning when I left your campaign headquarters, I run right over to your tailor's.

  Nelson Hayward : I'm sure he was delighted. He loves a challenge.

  Lt. Columbo : Whattaya mean, sir?

  Nelson Hayward : Uh, nothin'. It's a small joke.

• Nelson Hayward : Why, Lieutenant, are you considering a change of wardrobe?

  Lt. Columbo : Oh, no, no. Oh, every once in a while I think about getting a new coat, but there's no rush on that, sir. There's still a lot of wear in this fellow.

  [pats trench coat] 

• Lt. Columbo : Yeah, this other thing is a genuine puzzle. I don't see any answer to this one.

  Nelson Hayward : Well, maybe I can help you.

  Lt. Columbo : Let's hope so, sir.

  Nelson Hayward : For your sake, or mine?

  [Columbo remains silent] 

• Nelson Hayward : Come on. Let's go to bed.

  Vickie Hayward : Is that invitation social or just a professional courtesy?

• Nelson Hayward : Someone is trying to kill me. Now, that is a fact, isn't it? I don't know what the police are up to. Harry was killed driving my car in my clothes and in my garage. Do I have to get gunned down in the streets before anybody believes it?

• [Lt. Columbo wants to talk with Hayward but doesn't want to "inconvenience" him] 

  Nelson Hayward : No, no, no, no... let's understand something, Lieutenant: You see, you think I'm reluctant to talk to you, but you're wrong. I will talk to you as often as you want, for as long as you want, about anything you want.

  Lt. Columbo : [taken aback]  Oh. Oh, fine.

• [Campaign manager Harry Stone insists that Congressional candidate Nelson Hayward leave his mistress] 

  Nelson Hayward : Harry, I need her!

  Harry Stone : You don't need anybody but me! You can get rid of anybody but me, because I know where the bodies are buried, Nels. I buried 'em for you!

• Nelson Hayward : Harry, stay out of my private life.

  Harry Stone : You don't have any private life.