Columbo (TV Series)

Candidate for Crime (1973)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Columbo's car has been repaired. He's presented with the bill] 

  Lt. Columbo : That much, huh?

  Shelly : Wasn't the parts so much as the time it took. It's not easy to work on a car in that condition.

  Lt. Columbo : Will you take a check?

  Shelly : You haven't got a credit card?

  Lt. Columbo : I'm from the... uh... police. Lieutenant Columbo... uh.

  [He struggles to get out his I.D] 

  Shelly : What, are you... uh... undercover or something?

  Lt. Columbo : No, I'm underpaid.

• Lt. Columbo : So far, sir, we don't have a thing.

  Nelson Hayward : Well, that's heartening.

  Lt. Columbo : Officially, that is.

  Nelson Hayward : And unofficially?

  Lt. Columbo : Unofficially, we don't have anything either.

• Nelson Hayward : Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant, don't misunderstand. You're a very nice man, I like you very much, but I would hate to have to depend upon you if I was in a hurry for something.

  Lt. Columbo : Geez, you know that's what my wife says...

  Nelson Hayward : I'm sure she does. Get to the point, Lieutenant.

  Lt. Columbo : Right.

• Harris : You ever, uh, consider getting another car?

  Lt. Columbo : I got another car. My wife drives it, but that's nothin' special. Just transportation.

• Lt. Columbo : I dug this bullet outta that wall three hours before you said that somebody fired it at you three minutes ago.

• Lt. Columbo : Would you believe it? The first thing I did this morning when I left your campaign headquarters, I run right over to your tailor's.

  Nelson Hayward : I'm sure he was delighted. He loves a challenge.

  Lt. Columbo : Whattaya mean, sir?

  Nelson Hayward : Uh, nothin'. It's a small joke.

• Nelson Hayward : Why, Lieutenant, are you considering a change of wardrobe?

  Lt. Columbo : Oh, no, no. Oh, every once in a while I think about getting a new coat, but there's no rush on that, sir. There's still a lot of wear in this fellow.

  [pats trench coat] 

• Lt. Columbo : Yeah, this other thing is a genuine puzzle. I don't see any answer to this one.

  Nelson Hayward : Well, maybe I can help you.

  Lt. Columbo : Let's hope so, sir.

  Nelson Hayward : For your sake, or mine?

  [Columbo remains silent] 

• Lt. Columbo : You know, isn't it funny the way people react under the stress of a situation?

• [Lt. Columbo wants to talk with Hayward but doesn't want to "inconvenience" him] 

  Nelson Hayward : No, no, no, no... let's understand something, Lieutenant: You see, you think I'm reluctant to talk to you, but you're wrong. I will talk to you as often as you want, for as long as you want, about anything you want.

  Lt. Columbo : [taken aback]  Oh. Oh, fine.

• Lt. Columbo : Murder's always depressin', but you get over it.

• Lt. Columbo : Evening, Commissioner.

  Deputy Commissioner : You're late, Lieutenant.