- Arlo: Group W is where they put ya if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime. There was all kinds of mean, nasty ugly-lookin' people on the bench there. There was mother rapers... father stabbers... father rapers... Father rapers! Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!
- Officer Obie: Want your wallets and your belts. Put everything on the desk.
- Arlo: I can understand you wanting our wallets, so we don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want our belts for?
- Officer Obie: Kid, we don't want any hanging.
- Arlo: [pause] Obie, do you think we're gonna hang ourselves for littering?
- Alice: Take off those handcuffs!
- Officer Obie: You're interfering in the performance of my duties.
- Alice: You're a meathead - haven't you play-acted cop enough for one day?
- Officer Obie: This side is reserved for officers of the law and criminals.
- Alice: Pig-eyed idiot!
- Officer Obie: Alice, I've had enough garbage for one day, yours and theirs.
- Alice: Stupid bastard!
- Officer Obie: Alice...
- Alice: Cradle hopper!
- Officer Obie: Alice!
- Alice: Turkey raper!
- Criminal: [approaching Arlo on the bench] Kid, what'd you get?
- Arlo: I didn't get nothin'. I had to pay fifty dollars, and pick up the garbage.
- Girl: [as Arlo leads donkey into the church] You can ride him to Canada!
- Boy: [about to be drafted] Been wondering how to get my ass across the border.
- Arlo, Pete Seeger: [singing] Let's go ridin' in the car car, Let's go ridin' in the car car, Let's go ridin' in the car car, Let's go ridin' in the car...
- Draft Clerk: What's this huntington's chorea?
- Arlo: Incurable nerve disease.
- Draft Clerk: And you have it?
- Arlo: It runs in the family! My father has it and my grandmother had it.
- Draft Clerk: It says here, "Do you know of any reason as to why *you* might not qualify for military service?" Not your father, not your grandmother.
- Arlo: I could get it.
- Draft Clerk: But, you don't have it now.
- Arlo: No.
- Draft Clerk: [writes down on draft form] "None." You'll hear from us.
- Arlo: Peace.
- [exits]
- Arlo: How old are you?
- Reenie: [Sniffing, takin off her shorts and shirt] Seventeen.
- Arlo: Seventeen?
- Reenie: Fifteen.
- Arlo: Fifteen going on fourteen.
- Reenie: Okay!
- Arlo: What do you want? Jesus.
- Reenie: I'm no teeny bopper. I already made it with Dick Bogarde of the Raspberry Wristwatch. It's his shirt. And Jack Hennessy of the Unreal. And the drummer of the Democratic Convention. And the Wanderer. And lots of other big guys. With concerts and record deals and everything. And, I like - well - you know, with you. Because you'll probably get to be in an album.
- Arlo: [takes off his handkerchief] Here. Keep this, as a souvenir. It's the same as if we made it. I just don't want to catch your cold.
- Pete Seeger: [singing] it's always we rambled, that river and I, All along your green valley, I'll live till I die, My land I'll defend with my life if it be, For my pastures of plenty must always - be free.
- Girl: Hey Ray, how 'bout grace?
- Shelly: Yeah, grace!
- Ray: [Wearing a Pilgrim's hat] Grace be to Alice for coming home to cook this feast.
- Thanksgiving Guests: Yeah!
- Ray: Grace be to us for being here to dig it!
- Thanksgiving Guests: Yeah!
- Ray: Because we're beautiful!
- Thanksgiving Guests: Yeah!
- Ray: And we're doin' it!
- Thanksgiving Guests: Yeah!
- Ray: We got what we need!
- Thanksgiving Guests: Yeah!
- Ray: What more do we want?
- Thanksgiving Guests: Nothing!
- Ray: Pastures of plenty! Come on, dig in here!
- Officer Obie: Kid, we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage. Just wanted to know if you had any information about it?
- Arlo: Oh, yes sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope under that garbage.
- Arlo: They got a buildin' down in New York City called Whitehall Street where you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected.
- Arlo: [voiceover] I proceeded down the hall, gettin' more injections, inspections, infections, neglections, and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me at the thing there. And I was there for two hours, three hours, four hours, I was there for a long time goin' through all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things. And I was just havin' a tough time and they was inspectin', injectin', every single part of me, and they was leavin' no part untouched.
- Draft Doctor: Turn your head and cough. Turn your head and cough. Turn your head and cough. Turn your hat and cough...
- Arlo: [talking to Woody] It's weird. Good things in my life always seem to come out of not doin' what I don't want to do. Now that they're not after me to do what I don't want to do, what do I want to do? It may take me some hard travelin' to find that out - for my own self.
- Ray: Hey Alice, watch it. Alice, watch it! Alice, get outta the picture. Bitch, what the hell do you think you're doin'?
- Officer Obie: If he comes bustin' up the town again, I'm gonna bust him. Get the whole book on him. Possession. Pushing. The whole rap. So, keep him down here on the freak farm where he belongs. You understand?
- Marjorie: Woody didn't want a funeral. "No funeral." When we're all together, we'll take his ashes out to Coney Island.
- Arlo: Sort of sets you adrift. Lets you know your life is going by. All the sudden I feel in a hurry to find out what my things gonna be. Who - and where?
- 1st Deconsecration Minister: Alice, do you take this man to be your lawful lovin' man, for bad or for better, for drunk or for sober, or for high or for lower, for husband and lover, today and tomorrow, till death do you part?
- Alice: I do.
- 1st Deconsecration Minister: Ray, do you take this woman to be your ever-wedded woman, for bitchy and giving, for love and for living, in peace and dissension, in health and affliction, today and tomorrow, till death do you part?
- Ray: I do.