[
after Gail had splashed water on Matt, she then spills a drink on him after falling over when he's lighting her cigarette]
Gail Hendrix:
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Matt Helm:
Yeah, I know you are.
Matt Helm:
I couldn't help noticing, but, these are your clothes?
Barbara:
What if they are?
Matt Helm:
Oh, I know you have a headache but don't take it out on me, I mean, what should I do with these?
Barbara:
[
in a breathy voice] Just throw them anywhere. I won't be needing them 'til morning.
Tina aka Cowboy:
This is just like old times.
Matt Helm:
Yeah, especially with that body on the floor.
[
Pointing to Barbara in the background, who has just been shot twice in the back by Tina]
Tina aka Cowboy:
What do we do with *her*?
Matt Helm:
You put her on ice, let ICE take care of it.
Tina aka Cowboy:
And what happens when the maid walks in, in the morning?
Matt Helm:
You know, you're right. Let's put her in my bed, so we don't arouse suspicion.
[
Matt and Tina start walking towards Barbara's body, cut]
Tina aka Cowboy:
[
after Matt has a wet first encounter with Gail at the swimming pool] I can't leave you alone for a second, can I?
Matt Helm:
Not if you want to keep me dry.
Tina aka Cowboy:
[
Discussing Gail] Quite a girl.
Matt Helm:
That is not a girl, Tina. That's a disaster area.
Gail Hendrix:
I want some music.
[
Gail turns on car radio, Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" plays]
Matt Helm:
Oh, turn him off, he's terrible!
[
Gail changes the station, Dean Martin's "Everybody Loves Somebody" plays]
Matt Helm:
Now that's a guy that can sing!
Matt Helm:
The soap, please, Miss Kravezit.
Matt Helm:
[
picking up the phone] Wrong hacienda.
Matt Helm:
Don't you think we should be introduced first?
Barbara:
You're Matt Helm.
Matt Helm:
Good enough for me.
Matt Helm:
But I've been on leave from I.C.E. for a long time. As far as I'm concerned, I am out of it.
Tina:
[
pouring herself a drink] You're never out of Ice.
Tina:
[
concerned about a sniper outside] But what happens if he hits the gas tank?
Matt Helm:
Smokey the Bear won't like it. Get in.
Gail Hendrix:
Eddie, fix me a Bloody Mary. With real blood.
Tina:
Are you on a vacation?
Gail Hendrix:
Oh well, eh, I was on a tour, a sight-seeing tour. But eh, the man in charge of our group kept taking me places that weren't in the brochure.
Matt Helm:
Where was that?
Gail Hendrix:
His room.
Matt Helm:
[
to Tina] Making love to you is like playing Russian Roulette.
Gail Hendrix:
Mr. Helm, now do I look like an enemy agent?
Matt Helm:
Well I dunno, I haven't seen the latest models yet.
Gail Hendrix:
You're sick, you know that? S.I.Q.U.E. Sick!
Gail Hendrix:
You undressed me once and I didn't like it.
Matt Helm:
Now you're confusing romance with first aid.
Matt Helm:
My name is Chump. Matt Chump.
Tina:
[
trying to get Matt to switch sides] You'll just die...
Matt Helm:
Not in your bed.
Tina:
What better place is there?
Matt Helm:
Well, they finally figured out how to get blood out of a stone...
Matt Helm:
[
to Gail] You know, if you were an Indian, Custer would still be alive.
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