The Story of Mankind (1957)
Groucho Marx: Peter Minuit
Quotes
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Indian Chief : How.
Peter Minuit : Three minutes, and leave 'em in the shell.
Indian Chief : What?
Peter Minuit : No, not what, how!
Indian Chief : Ugh.
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Indian Chief : Medicine man say me sick. If me no sick, me no sell island. Me sick, so me go west.
Peter Minuit : You're crazy to go west, the whole west is full of Indians. You're liable to get killed.
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Peter Minuit : I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll raise my offer to 22 dollars.
Indian Chief : 26 dollars. Not cent less, for island of Manhattan.
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Peter Minuit : Why don't we have a drink and forget the whole deal.
Indian Chief : My medicine man tell me no drink, no smoke.
Peter Minuit : No drink and no smoke?
Indian Chief : No.
Peter Minuit : What about girls?
Indian Chief : No girls.
Peter Minuit : What about her?
Indian Chief : She my daughter, she no girl.
Peter Minuit : That's what he thinks.
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Peter Minuit : Now, just let me get this straight. You're not allowed to drink?
Indian Chief : No.
Peter Minuit : No smoke and no girls?
Indian Chief : No.
Peter Minuit : Well, what do you want the 26 dollars for? You better get another doctor and have a little bit of fun out of life.
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Peter Minuit : Now, this is my final offer, 24 dollars and not a penny more.
Indian Chief : Robbery! White man rob poor injun.
Peter Minuit : So, you think you're being robbed, eh? Be glad its not 300 years later. You might have been wiped out in the stock market. Now, is it a deal or isn't it?
Indian Chief : Robbery!
Peter Minuit : That's quite true, but, eh, is it a deal or isn't it?
Indian Chief : Deal.
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Peter Minuit : Now, wait a minute, I got to have these tags for my income tax returns. These tags are very valuable.
Indian Chief : Tags valuable?
Peter Minuit : I'll say.
Indian Chief : Me take tags. You take jewels. Chief no fool.
Peter Minuit : No wonder you're the Chief. With a brain like yours, the white man hasn't got a chance.