Mike:
She's a lovely girl.
Tracy:
Yes, isn't she? Ah, but we're afraid she has a homicidal streak.
Mrs. Lord:
Tracy, look at the way she does her hair.
Tracy:
Oh, yes, it's lovely. Is it lacquered?
Tracy:
Do you like my dress?
Uncle Willie:
Oh yes, it's quite beautiful.
Tracy:
It's awfully heavy.
Uncle Willie:
My dear boy, this is the sort of day history tells us is better spent in bed.
Mike:
Didn't you once know a girl named Tracy Samantha Lord?
Dexter:
Yes, I did.
Mike:
No, you didn't! If you did, you wouldn't have let her go!
Tracy:
Look everybody, it's Uncle Willy! Wasn't it nice of Uncle Willy to surprise us?
Dexter:
Uncle Willy, this morning you look like a tree full of owls.
Tracy:
My, she was yar.
Mike:
Don't dig that kind of crooning, chum.
Dexter:
You must be one of the newer fellows.
Dexter:
[
hits Mike, turns to George] She's not your wife yet and she *was* mine you know.
[
George stalks off, Dexter turns to Mike]
Dexter:
Thought I'd better get in first, he's in much better shape.
Mike:
You'll do.
Mike:
Mr Kittredge, it may interest you to know that our so-called affair consisted of exactly two kisses and one rather late swim both of which I thoroughly enjoyed and the memory of which I wouldn't part with for anything. After which I returned here, carried her to her room, deposited her on her bed and promptly returned here which you will no doubt remember.
George Kittredge:
That's all?
Mike:
That's all.
Tracy:
Why? Was I so cold? So forbidding?
Mike:
Not at all. On the contrary but you were somewhat the worse or the better for the wine and there are rules about such things.
George Kittredge:
That sounds like Tracy's voice.
Dexter:
No, no. It's just the night watchman.
George Kittredge:
It's a woman's voice.
Dexter:
Well he's a lyric tenor you see.
Mrs. Lord:
George told us what happened. Your father will make an announcement.
Tracy:
Oh thank you. No, no, I got myself into this, I'll get myself out. Ooh.
Dexter:
Go. Go.
Tracy:
[
Opens the door to address the guests] Good morning
[
to the organist]
Tracy:
Will you stop that racket? Good morning. I'm afraid there's been a slight hitch. My fiancé that was... that is... he's decided we should call it a day and I quite agree with him and... oh Dexter help me please?
Dexter:
Say "two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland"
Tracy:
Two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland.
Dexter:
"But I hope to make it up to you now by going through with it as originally planned."
Tracy:
But I hope to make it up to you now by...
[
looks at Dexter, he nods and smiles]
Tracy:
by going through with it as originally and most beautifully planned.
Dexter:
"So if you'll just keep your seats a moment"
Tracy:
So if you'll just keep your lovely seats a moment
Dexter:
"That's all"
Tracy:
That's all
[
shuts the door]
Tracy:
. Oh Dexter, are you sure?
Dexter:
No, but I'll risk it if you will.
Tracy:
You're not just doing it to save my face?
Dexter:
It's such a sweet old face.
Tracy:
Oh, it got dark all of a sudden.
Caroline Lord:
Dexter? This is Caroline.
Dexter:
Hello, beautiful!
Caroline Lord:
Any time now.
Tracy:
I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.
Dexter:
Oh, come on, that's not even good conversation, Tracy.
Tracy:
One thing's for sure. You're well rid of me.
Dexter:
Oh, no, no-one can say that but me.
Dexter:
Hey, skipper, when do we eat?
Tracy:
Now.
Dexter:
Boy, you've been at it long enough.
Tracy:
It's bride's prerogative.
Dexter:
It's just I don't like you out of my sight for so long.
Tracy:
That's nice.
Mike:
Hey, Liz.
Liz Imbrie:
Huh?
Mike:
Look at all the loot they've collected.
Liz Imbrie:
They must run a hockshop on the side.
Mrs. Lord:
This is Miss Elizabeth Imbrie and Mr Mike Macauley Connor. They're from Spy magazine.
Dexter:
Spy? Say your tastes have changed a little haven't they, Sam?
Louis Armstrong:
What goes on around here? There's a dark horse in this here race and my boy's running a slow third.
Louis Armstrong:
You could play football in this room.
Dexter:
I know, but can you rehearse?
Louis Armstrong:
Is that chandelier tied tight up there?
Dexter:
If it gets to swinging a little put a mute in your horn.
Caroline Lord:
Tracy, it's your song! Dexter must be home.
Tracy:
Mother, has Dexter come back?
Mrs. Lord:
Well, we knew he was giving his house over to the jazz festival, maybe he has come back.
Tracy:
He's back. No-one else would play that song. That cheap, vulgar, dreadful song.
Caroline Lord:
That beautiful, wonderful song he wrote especially for her? That's gratitude.
Dexter:
You'll find it under Harvard Classics. Just give Darwin a little nudge.
Mike:
We'll go over the wall. Whose car should we use?
Tracy:
Any one.
Mike:
How about that blue one?
Tracy:
Oh no, that's mine!
Mike:
Have you heard the story of a boy a girl, unrequited love?
Dexter:
Sounds like pure soap opera.
Mike:
I may cry.
Dexter:
Tune in tomorrow.
Caroline Lord:
What's this?
[
holds up a weird silver object]
Mrs. Lord:
I don't know dear.
Caroline Lord:
It stinks.
Mrs. Lord:
Caroline, don't say stinks. If absolutely necessary, smells, but only if absolutely necessary.
Caroline Lord:
Mother, don't you think it's stinking of Tracy not to invite father to the wedding?
Mrs. Lord:
Yes, just between us, I think it's good and stinking.
Uncle Willie:
I can't find Liz.
Dexter:
I think I just saw someone wander out on to the terrace. Alone.
Uncle Willie:
You don't say. The little vixen!
[
leaves]
Dexter:
Ollie ollie oxen free!
[
Liz comes out of hiding]
Dexter:
What's the matter? Uncle Willie giving you a little trouble?
Liz Imbrie:
That man's gonna wind up a juvenile delinquent mark my words.
Liz Imbrie:
Well, since Mike's disappeared I may as well go home.
Dexter:
How about I take you home, then everybody will come looking for us.
Liz Imbrie:
That's the nicest thing I've heard all night.
Mike:
You know how I feel about my grandmother but I'd sell her for a drink.
Mike:
[
Dexter is carrying a morning-after-the-night-before drink for Sam] Is that for me?
Dexter:
It's for Sam, you want one?
Mike:
You know how I feel about my grandmother but I'd sell her for a drink.
Dexter:
Uncle Willie's in the pantry doing weird and wonderful things with healing waters. Tell him you'd like one of the same.
Mike:
Can I ask for two?
Dexter:
Keep going till you run out of grandmothers.
Mike:
I'll be drinking a long time.
Tracy:
I'm truly sorry to have been a disappointment to you.
Seth Lord:
I've never said that and I never will.
Liz Imbrie:
Were you by any chance playing footsie with me at lunch?
Mike:
From where I sat?
Liz Imbrie:
I didn't think your reach was that good. Seth Lord has a roving eye *and* foot.
Mike:
Liz, I know I'm not destiny's dream man but...
Liz Imbrie:
Mike, I think I'd better grab you. You're likely to get in trouble one of these days.
Mike:
[
on telephone] This is the voice of doom.
Mrs. Lord:
What?
Mike:
This is to tell you your days are numbered.
[
hangs up]
Mrs. Lord:
Oh dear. One of the servants has been at the sherry again.
Tracy:
I would like to talk to you privately.
Dexter:
Well now, I consider that right neighborly.
Caroline Lord:
Dexter, are you ever going to get married again?
Dexter:
Sure I am, I'm just waiting for you to grow up.
Caroline Lord:
Oh Dexter, for you I'll hurry.
Dexter:
You're gonna have to.
Dexter:
Oh Sam you're slipping. That used to terrify me, the withering glance of the goddess.
Mike:
Hands up!
Tracy:
Oh it's you! Go away.
Mike:
Where are you going?
Tracy:
Some place and dance.
Mike:
But they're dancing in there.
Tracy:
I know but George is frowning at me and I can't dance when anyone frowns at me.
Dexter:
They met in a hole in the ground.
Liz Imbrie:
Elegant junk.
Mike:
It's shiny.
Liz Imbrie:
[
checking out a silver ice bucket] Plate.
George Kittredge:
I have a feeling you had more to do with this than anybody. You and your whole rotten class.
Dexter:
Oh class my...
Mike:
grandmother!
Dexter:
Liz, you're in love with Connor aren't you?
Liz Imbrie:
People ask the darnedest questions.
Dexter:
Why don't you marry him?
Liz Imbrie:
I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Dexter:
I said why don't you marry him?
Liz Imbrie:
He's still got a lot to learn. I don't want to get in his way for a while.
Dexter:
Supposing some other girl comes along in the meantime.
Liz Imbrie:
I guess I'd just scratch her eyes out. Unless that is she was marrying someone else the next day.
Dexter:
You're quite a girl Liz.
Liz Imbrie:
I don't know. I take nice pictures though.
Liz Imbrie:
Mike, if I ever am in your way. Don't honk, just run over me.
Tracy:
Caroline Lord, if you put this picture in my wedding presents once more I am going to personally chain you to your bed.
Mike:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Liz Imbrie:
I don't.
Mike:
Would you have four footmen bring me a large ashtray.
Liz Imbrie:
Mike, be careful what you say. We may be wired for sound.
Mike:
This joint's full of spies.
Liz Imbrie:
That should make us feel at home.
Liz Imbrie:
You know something professor, I think you dropped a loop.
Mike:
She can't be for real.
Liz Imbrie:
Who was doing the interviewing?
Mike:
You think she was born that way?
Liz Imbrie:
Nah. Takes years.
Tracy:
There are fairies at the bottom of my garden all ringing little bells.
Louis Armstrong:
Right song, but the wrong girl.
Louis Armstrong:
End of song, beginning of story.
Tracy:
Isn't it a fine day. Is everybody fine? That's fine.
Tracy:
Are you learning anything about the idle rich?
Mike:
Yeah, they drive too fast. Where are we headed anyway?
Tracy:
The graveyard.
Mike:
I'm not ready.
Tracy:
I thought I'd show you the playground of the rich, the graveyard of the wealthy.
Mike:
Well, for that I'm ready.
Mike:
[
drunkenly] If you had really know her, you would've
[
hiccup]
Mike:
never let her get away. You go hiccups.
Dexter:
Excuse me.
Mike:
It's alright.
Louis Armstrong:
He's gonna get nowhere with that kind of music. Good for the feet, nothin' for the heart.
Mike:
I'm gonna dance.
Dexter:
Don't get hurt.
Dexter:
[
singing] You're my bon ami.
Mike:
Hey, that's French
Tracy:
Oh, I think men are wonderful.
Liz Imbrie:
The little dears.
Tracy:
Help me off the pedestal.
Seth Lord:
Watch out for that first step, it's quite a tumble.
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