- Stormy: You're still a pupil?
- Wedgewood: That's right.
- Stormy: Well what kind of a for-crying-out-loud kind of school could you be in?
- Wedgewood: This one, Bristol College.
- Stormy: This is a college?
- Wedgewood: Well, of course, what did you think it was?
- Stormy: I think you better let me outta here. I had all the college boys I want on Saturday nights thank you... tanked up on the two dollar gin.
- Toby Marshall: You mean she'll do anything you tell her to?
- Eddie Jones: Anything that's not against her fundamental principals.
- Toby Marshall: Well?
- Eddie Jones: Well what?
- Toby Marshall: Well, what are her fundamental principals?
- Eddie Jones: How should I know? I never saw her until she walked through that door. What are your fundamental principals, honey?
- Curly: What fundamental principals?
- Eddie Jones: What are you? Some sort of dancer?
- Curly: Student.
- Eddie Jones: Student?
- Curly: Interpretative student.
- Eddie Jones: Come again?
- Curly: What they say: exotic.
- Eddie Jones: Just to keep the record straight, it was me that put the whammy on her, not him.
- Stormy: Well, two and a half cheers for you.
- Eddie Jones: Please, may I kiss her goodbye?
- Stormy: Just don't try to show off.
- Eddie Jones: Thanks.
- [kisses a hypnotized Curly]
- Toby Marshall: Say, could I pick up that raincheck now?
- Eddie Jones: He didn't get one first time around.
- Stormy: Oh, sure. And line up the rest of the college, too, why don't you?
- [Toby gives hypnotized Curly a long kiss]
- Dr. Tweed: Look, you have no idea what a collection of hyenas we've got in this institution. During the panty raids last Spring, I thought I'd go absolutely crazy.
- Dr. Tweed: B.J. Marshall is said to be good for a million. And for a million, I would graduate a three-headed goat with honors. The President of a college like Bristol is not here to waste his time on nonsense like education. He's here to get the dough!
- Dr. Tweed: Well, only a few years ago, in fact, it was a rare night that didn't see me setting forth into the darkness, smoking a Turkish delight, and fairly reeking of toilet water.
- B.J. Marshall: What's come over the old school, anyway. First, my son, an honor student, they lose him completely! The next thing I know I flush the President, an old crock about 150 years old, necking with one of the girls in the boys dormitory. Then what happens is the cops haul me down to the Police Station and try to tell me that I shot a Chinese hoochie-coochie dancer the other night.
- Miss 'Syl' Sylvester: All this dear boy intended to do was to watch the football game on television. And then it started. "Take a break. Drink some beer. Now, drink some more beer. Never mind the game, you just keep drinking beer. Drink the dry beer. Drink the wet beer. Drink the truly fine purple beer. Just pour it down, baby. Quarts and quarts and quarts of it. And to heck with this game. Turn this silly machine off and just drink, drink, drink, drink, drink." And you know what a dear, sweet, accommodating boy Toby is.
- B.J. Marshall: You mean he was gassed?
- Miss 'Syl' Sylvester: To the gills. And that's why he organized, you'll pardon the expression, the panty raid.
- B.J. Marshall: What's a - panty raid?
- Miss 'Syl' Sylvester: Oh, yes, you've been away. Well, a panty raid, if you'll forgive me again, is a new phenomenon in this country in which the boys of a school, bless their innocent hearts, are stirred by youth and the first touch of Spring in the air, to move en masse on the girls' dormitories and demand certain - tokens of gallantry.
- B.J. Marshall: And my Toby led one of those things?
- Miss 'Syl' Sylvester: The most successful in the history of Old Bristol!
- Miss 'Syl' Sylvester: Never have I seen such a distressing day. Girls disrobing in public. People shooting each other in the presence of the faculty.
- B.J. Marshall: You think its distressing now, wait till I get my hands on that idiot Tweed.