Copacabana (1947)
Groucho Marx: Lionel Q. Devereaux
Photos
Quotes
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : Well, Steve Hunt, my life-long pal. You haven't changed a bit.
Steve Hunt : Do I know you?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Do you know me? Lionel Q. Devereaux, your old roommate at Yale?
Steve Hunt : I never went to Yale.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Remember those good old days at Erasmus High?
Steve Hunt : I never went to Erasmus High.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : At least you do remember when we graduated from Public School 27?
Steve Hunt : No.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Say, for a man with no education, you've done alright.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : [handing Carmen's mink stole to a hat-check girl] Take good care of this, and at ten o'clock give it a saucer of milk.
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Carmen Navarro : Why you always chasing women?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : I'll tell you as soon as I catch one.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : This is an outrage! You'll hear from my lawyer! As soon as he gets a telephone!
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Carmen Navarro : [trying to sneak into their hotel] Oh Lionel, I can not stand this kind of a life anymore. Why don't we get married?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Let's not rush into marriage; we can't even get into the hotel.
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Carmen Navarro : I don't think you want to marry me.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : How can you say that? We've been engaged for almost ten years!
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Mr. Green : Now listen, Devereaux, you and I both know that that check is no good.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Oh? I thought only I knew it.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : Listen, babe.
Copa Girl : Yes?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : How'd you like to see your name in lights?
Copa Girl : Why, are you an electrician?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : No, but I've got some good connections.
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Liggett : I've got so many clients, they get in my hair!
Lionel Q. Devereaux : This guy must handle a flea circus.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : You had to go and get cured by penicillin.
Andy Russell : Well, it is good for my throat.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : So's a razor!
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : How much are your cigars?
Cigarette Girl : They're a dollar a piece.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : I was just browsing... don't you have any nickel cigars?
Cigarette Girl : Yes, but they're forty cents.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : I've got an explanation for this, but I don't believe it myself.
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Andy Russell : [while watching Carmen Navarro dance and sing "Tico Tico No Fubá."] Plenty of pepper, huh?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : And a nice shaker, too.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : Say, dream girl, how'd you like to get in the movies?
Copa Girl : Why, have you got any passes?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : No, but I could make a few.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : I just had a heart-to-heart talk with the manager.
Carmen Navarro : Are they going to throw us out?
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Don't be silly. They wouldn't throw the best act in show business out of the hotel.
Carmen Navarro : I know, but what about us?
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : I'm sick and tired of being applauded; making people laugh.
Carmen Navarro : What people?
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Hotel Night Clerk : Mr. Devereaux, I'm sorry to tell you this, but Mr. Green the manager said if your bills aren't paid by tonight, we'll be forced to lock you out. Here you are, here's a bill for Miss Navarro's room and a bill for your room.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : That's a fine way to treat permanent guests. You realize I've run up a bigger bill than anyone else in this hotel? Oh well, why quibble? Let me have a check, a blank one, like that expression on your face.
[begins to fill out check]
Lionel Q. Devereaux : What bank do you do business with?
Hotel Night Clerk : Second National Trust.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Are you sure they're good for that much money?
Hotel Night Clerk : Oh, that's a big bank.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : You have to be careful with banks these days; a lot of my checks have been coming back recently.
[hands him the check]
Lionel Q. Devereaux : There you are.
Hotel Night Clerk : Mmm, just one little detail, Mr. Devereaux, you didn't sign it.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Naturally.
Hotel Night Clerk : Well, without your signature, it's worthless.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : That's what you think. It's perfectly good now, but if I sign it, it really would be worthless.
Hotel Night Clerk : But I can't hand Mr. Green an unsigned check.
Lionel Q. Devereaux : Oh, trying to influence me to pass bad checks, eh? You know that's a penitentiary offense?
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : Girls, I've thought it over, you don't want a career. What you ought to do is settle down, get yourself a husband... anybody's husband.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : [under police interrogation] Listen fellas, I'm as innocent as a babe. Even more innocent. I know some babes who aren't so innocent.
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Lionel Q. Devereaux : [on his knees, dramatically pleading his innocence when Fifi/Carmen enters] You had to walk in. Just when I was going good. In a minute I might have been another Peter Lorre.