Photos
Quotes
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Richard Nugent : Hey, you remind me of a man.
Susan Turner : What man?
Richard Nugent : The man with the power.
Susan Turner : What power?
Richard Nugent : The power of whodoo.
Susan Turner : Whodoo?
Richard Nugent : You do.
Susan Turner : Do what?
Richard Nugent : You remind me of a man...
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Richard Nugent : Hi! Mellow greetings, yookie dookie!
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Matt Beemish : I'm the court psychiatrist.
Richard Nugent : Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.
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Richard (Dick) Nugent : How'd you get in here?
Matt Beemish : Well, the door was closed, so I opened it and came right in.
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Richard Nugent : [Jerry is sitting in his car in front of the Turner house] Jerry, what are you doing out here? Why don't you go inside?
Jerry White : I'm not welcome. I'm a square in Susan's social circle.
Richard Nugent : Nonsense, I'm sure Susan doesn't know you're out here.
Jerry White : She put me here.
Richard Nugent : Oh.
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Joey : [Susan arrives at their table in a rage] Is this your daughter, Judge?
Richard Nugent : [shocked that he'd insinuate Margaret is old enough to have a teenage daughter] It's her sister!
Joey : Funny, you look enough alike to be mother and daughter!
Margaret : [annoyed] Sisters look alike too.
Agnes Prescott : I hate my sister.
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Susan : Have you ever married?
Richard Nugent : No.
Susan : Have you ever been in love?
Richard Nugent : Yes I have. Tell me what kind of paper does this school run?
Susan : Oh, all the students read it.
Richard Nugent : I'll bet they do.
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Judge Margaret Turner : Thank you. You said that graciously. Perhaps the result of practice?
Richard (Dick) Nugent : You said that ungraciously. Perhaps the result of practice?
Judge Margaret Turner : I had that coming.
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Matt Beemish : As Menninger clearly points out, traumatic events...
Richard Nugent : [interrupting] The only traumatic event she needs is a good smack in the jaw!
Matt Beemish : She's my niece... but you're absolutely right.
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Waiter at Tick Tock Club : [to Nugent after he has been yelled at, insulted, slapped, had champagne tossed in his face and been stuck with the check] Can I get you anything else, sir?
Richard Nugent : For instance?
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Susan : Did you have many ordeals before you became a success?
Richard Nugent : No, I...
Susan : You can talk to me. I want you to think of me, not as a newspaper woman, but as a friend.
Richard Nugent : Well, in that case, I'll tell you. I did suffer. When I was 10, my mother and father had a double suicide pact, they made it. I was sent to an orphanage. Some days they didn't beat me. Then one night I escaped, I ran away to New York. I used to steal.
Susan : What did you steal?
Richard Nugent : Beg your pardon?
Susan : What did you steal?
Richard Nugent : Crusts of bread... and things. One time I stole a valise. There were paints and paintbrushes inside. So I began to paint. Then they got me. I was sent to a reform school, but I escaped again.
Susan : Go on.
Richard Nugent : Back to new York. A weathly society lady saw my work, fell in love with me and sent me to art school. The rest is history.
Susan : How wonderful. How terribly wonderful.
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Richard Nugent : Could we do this some other time? I've got a date.
Susan : Then you're not married?
Richard Nugent : No.
Susan : I knew you weren't. You just couldn't be.
Richard Nugent : Oh I've had some offers.
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Richard (Dick) Nugent : Behind every defeated man there's a frustrated love.
Susan Turner : You're right. And I promise, all my life, never to hurt you.
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Richard Nugent : Ready boot, let's scoot!
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Matt Beemish : But I've got a plan.
Richard Nugent : I've had enough of your plans and your whole family.
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Richard Nugent : Thank you, Your Honor, may I go?
Judge Margaret Turner : You've just got here, don't you like our court?
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Susan : Well, my attitude is that one female judge in the family is enough.
Richard Nugent : Did you say that your name was Turner?
Susan : That's right! My sister is Judge Margaret Turner.
Richard Nugent : Nice to have met the family, bye.
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Richard (Dick) Nugent : You know, my father was a bachelor.
Judge Margaret Turner : Really?
Richard (Dick) Nugent : [chuckles] Wait till I finish.
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Judge Margaret Turner : Please don't have any illusions about this matter. I'm doing this against my better judgment. I would just as soon my sister we're going out with an actor.
Matt Beemish : Judge Turner doesn't exactly mean that.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Oh, I was just wondering.
Matt Beemish : She means, as head of a psychiatric clinic, that I've recommended you as a vital therapy measure.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Hmmm. That's great. Recommended for children.
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Judge Margaret Turner : Mr. Nugent, I have good news.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : You're going to hang me.
Judge Margaret Turner : I'm afraid I'm the one who ought to be hanged.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Won't I sit down?
Judge Margaret Turner : Please do.
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Susan Turner : Do you know what you are? You're a regular Blackbeard.
Judge Margaret Turner : Bluebeard, dear.
Susan Turner : Well, a rose by any color.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Now, everybody's too excited.
Tommy : Nobody's excited.
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Judge Margaret Turner : It's nothing. I'm sure you didn't know she'd be here.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Are you sure you're sure I didn't know she'd be here?
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Chester Walters : [In Dick's jail cell] Tell me exactly what happened.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Hmph. If I knew exactly what happened, I wouldn't be here.
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Richard (Dick) Nugent : I'm doing a series of paintings on Americana, and I'm including a nightclub scene.
Judge Margaret Turner : Creating a nightclub scene would seem more appropriate.
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Matt Beemish : Now, you just leave things in my hands, Mr. Nugent. And I dare say you'll be surprised at the results.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Dare say.
Matt Beemish : I have a plan.
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Richard (Dick) Nugent : Tell me, what can they do to me if I kill a judge?
Matt Beemish : Hmm. I understand how you feel.
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Judge Margaret Turner : I've had enough of this, and I've had enough of you. Everywhere you go, you attract trouble.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : There you go, jumping again.
Judge Margaret Turner : Shut up. Thank you for a lovely evening.
[she storms off]
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Thank you! Thank you!
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Richard (Dick) Nugent : Where were you when they finally let me use the telephone around here last night? Where were you?
Chester Walters : I had not anticipated your winding up in jail. I have a life of my own, you know.
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Judge Margaret Turner : Susan!
Susan Turner : I do not intend to create a scene.
Judge Margaret Turner : What are you doing here?
Susan Turner : You both oughtta be ashamed of yourselves.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Another chair, Alex.
Susan Turner : I'm too young to be deceived by such treachery.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : What will you have to drink?
Susan Turner : Lemonade.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Sit down.
Susan Turner : I don't intend to stay. And some chocolate ice cream
[to the waiter]
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Judge Margaret Turner : It's getting to be quite a party.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Ah, ah, all is not gold that glitters
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Matt Beemish : Is this cell comfortable?
Richard (Dick) Nugent : I don't quite know. I haven't anything to compare it with. This is my first time.
Matt Beemish : Oh, oh. Well, on the whole I think you'll find our Western penology system is quite modern.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Well, that's a load off my mind.
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Tommy : Good evening.
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Sit down. You're just in time for a piece of cake.
Tommy : Thank you, I will. I suppose you're wondering how I got here. I went to your house and found that you... .
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Let me tell it - you went to Margaret's house. You found she'd gone. You were suspicious she had gone out with me. So you went to my apartment.
Tommy : You'd make a good detective, Nugent.
Joey : Who is this guy? I don't like him
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Nor do I.
Tommy : My name is Chamberlain...
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Matt Beemish : Where are you going?
Richard (Dick) Nugent : Africa.
Matt Beemish : Pretty far away, isn't it?
Richard (Dick) Nugent : All depends upon where you are. If you're in Arabia, which is where I'm going to be before I go to Africa, you're pretty close. Now would you mind getting out of here?
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Matt Beemish : But I've got a plan
Richard (Dick) Nugent : I've had enough of your plans. And your whole family. I was a carefree fellow before I met up with all of you. I've been in nothing but trouble ever since. I'm gonna be a carefree fellow again. Now buzz off.
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Chester Walters : You're charged with hitting the district attorney.
[sic]
Chester Walters : Did you or did you not hit him?
Richard (Dick) Nugent : I hit him. That's right. But at the time I hit him, I did not know he was the ASSISTANT district attorney. If I had known he was the ASSISTANT district attorney... I would have hit him.