- Anita Woverman: I really do need the work, though. After all, a woman who's just been divorced...
- Countess Oldenburg: My dear, in this house, we do not recognize divorce. We believe in love, even if it is no use to us now.
- Major Zellfritz: But he was in court this afternoon. How could he have been in two places.
- Capt. Schmutnick: Traitors are always in several places at the same time.
- Countess Oldenburg: Go on, wake him up. Poke him. Give him a poke.
- Anita Woverman: Never wake a man with a poke. He'd be grouchy all day.
- Countess Oldenburg: Well, how would you awaken him?
- Anita Woverman: Well, you can sing to him, kiss him, or tickle his feet.
- Anita Woverman: [sneezing] Must you bring mimosa?
- Major Zellfritz: Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch. I want you to use your will power. Do not sneeze. Defy it.
- Major Zellfritz: Does the divorce mean nothing to you? Legally, this man is a stranger to you now. You must not allow him to kiss you.
- Anita Woverman: Well, I know I shouldn't major, but, well it's just a habit I guess.
- Major Zellfritz: Have you a baby picture like this?
- Anita Woverman: No, but I'm going to have one taken one of these days.
- Major Zellfritz: And, uh, this medal I got for my victory over the Boy Scout organization. With only three newspaper articles, I completely annihilated them.
- Capt. Schmutnick: So, you're thinking of joining the Nazi Party.
- Christopher Reynolds: Well, you need men, dontcha?
- Capt. Schmutnick: Are you prepared to betray your mother?
- Christopher Reynolds: Naturally!
- Capt. Schmutnick: Your father?
- Christopher Reynolds: Certainly!
- Capt. Schmutnick: Your sweetheart?
- Christopher Reynolds: Of course.
- Capt. Schmutnick: And would you kill your own child for the Fuhrer?
- Christopher Reynolds: Well, who wouldn't kill his own child, for the Fuhrer? I'd do more, much more. I'd even give my grandmother the hot foot.
- Capt. Schmutnick: Hot foot - what is that?
- Christopher Reynolds: Well, you get some lighted matches and stick 'em under their toe nails.
- Capt. Schmutnick: Ohhh, excellent! That is good. I shall have to try that myself.
- Anita Woverman: Oh, where did you get that beautiful bird?
- Major Zellfritz: We get the bird from all the countries.
- Christopher Reynolds: More little leaflets fluttering down in the moonlight?
- Major Zellfritz: Yah! My tender tissues of truth.
- Thomas Woverman: Oh, in the tropics, everybody drinks like a fish.
- Zanten: Like a minnow, maybe, or a barracuda; but certainly not like a whale.
- Major Zellfritz: I do not remember seeing those legs in the last census. Perhaps we should investigate.
- Major Zellfritz: Ten, oh good. We only lost 18 flyers this week. Last week we got 12 British flyers and we only lost 54. The week before we got 18 and we only lost 68. If this keeps up, pretty soon, no more British flyers.
- Anita Woverman: Oh, oh, mimosa. I, I'm allergic to mimosa.
- Major Zellfritz: Oh, sheer medical nonsense. Exercise your will power. You will overcome it.