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- Cartman's dream about being abducted by aliens turns out to have actually happened, and when the aliens take Kyle's brother, all of them must find a way to bring the aliens back and confront them.
- Cartman leads a campaign against the Jews after seeing "The Passion Of The Christ." Meanwhile, Stan and Kenny try to get their money back from Mel Gibson and discover that he is completely insane.
- When everyone in South Park decides to forgo presents and celebrate a non-materialistic holiday season, the boys try to bring the spirit of commercialism back to Christmas by making an animated film.
- Stan learns about the Mormon religion after a new family moves to South Park from Utah. Caught up in the family-friendly doctrine of the church, Randy declares the Marshes to be Mormon as well.
- Kyle tries to crossbreed an elephant with a pig to win a science contest.
- The kids and their families take a vacation together in Aspen. However, the parents get stuck in an endless timeshare presentation, and Stan is forced into a showdown with a cocky skier.
- Bebe's breasts begin to develop, and the boys are at a loss to explain why they are suddenly drawn to her, when they had no interest in her before.
- Stan becomes distracted from the upcoming football game because his dog is gay, so he turns to the gayest man in town for advice, Big Gay Al.
- Rob Reiner comes to town to lead an anti tobacco crusade after the boys briefly take up smoking.
- Butters' mother snaps and tries to kill her son after the revelation that her husband frequents gay bath houses.
- Chef and the children learn that Earth is actually just a reality show for other planets. When they learn it is to be canceled, the boys travel to a distant planet to plead their case to the network executives.
- Cartman mistakenly believes he is a psychic, and is recruited by the police to help them with investigations.
- The boys get snowed in at the hospital while waiting to learn the identity of Cartman's father. Meanwhile, the townspeople resort to cannibalism when they get snowed in.
- Eric Cartman goes on a quest to find out who his father was. But when he learns who his mother slept with matters get complicated... because she slept with everybody in town.
- Cartman is sent to juvenile hall after he throws a rock at a black child.
- Cartman inherits a large sum of money and uses it to purchase his own amusement park. His resulting success causes Kyle to lose faith in God.
- The boys organize a music festival to raise money when Chef is sued by a record company.
- Chef protests the racist South Park flag.
- Hollywood big-shots try to turn South Park into another Sundance. However, they wreak havoc on the town's eco-system, which could cause Mr. Hankey to die.
- Kyle needs a kidney transplant, and Cartman is the only suitable donor. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison writes a novel.
- Mr. Barbrady goes back to school after it is discovered that he is illiterate. As he learns to read, a criminal is on the loose molesting all the chickens in South Park.
- The kids get hooked on a brainwashing violent cartoon from Japan which turns them against the American government.
- Cartman, Butters, and Token soar to the top of the Christian rock charts, but when the other boys kick Cartman out, he seeks a way to get them back.
- As their school bus teeters over the edge of a cliff, the boys recall past memories.
- Stan builds a clubhouse so he can play truth or dare with Wendy. Meanwhile, he deals with his parents' unexpected divorce.
- The people of South Park attempt to raise awareness of the school nurse's disability. Meanwhile, the boys travel to China to compete in a dodge ball championship.
- All of South Park's cows become mesmerized by the town's new Wooden Cow Memorial. Meanwhile, the kids' plan to win a Terence and Philip doll from a carney at the Cow Days festival becomes complicated and dangerous.
- The boys fight to get Big Gay Al reinstated as their scout leader, and Timmy is jealous of the new handicapped kid in town, Jimmy.
- The son of Satan called Damien is sent to Earth to find Jesus. Jesus and Satan end up in a fight of good and evil. The only problem is it's the same date as Cartman's birthday.
- Grampa wants Stan to kill him, the parents all want to kill the Terrance and Philip show, and Death just wants to kill someone.
- The boys become obsessed with religion after a sermon about hell scares them. Meanwhile, Saddam returns to Hell and tries to dispose of Satan's new boyfriend.
- Stan refuses to vote in the school mascot election because his choices are a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Unfortunately, his views on voting are seen as un-American, and he is ultimately banished from the town.
- Cartman makes a Jennifer Lopez hand doll and turns her into a music star, which draws the furious anger of the real Jennifer Lopez as well as the sexual advances of Ben Affleck.
- Cartman is outraged when he is sent to fat camp by his mother. Meanwhile, Kenny becomes famous for a "Jackass" style TV show.
- Ms Garrison realises she still has feelings for Mr Slave. But Mr Slave has moved on and plans to marry his new boyfriend, Big Gay Al as soon as the Governor signs the same sex marriage bill.
- The boys disguise Butters as a mutant to win prizes on The Maury Povich show. They become upset when Butters' prize is a round of putt-putt golf, and so Cartman goes on the show as an out of control teen. The mutant freaks who make a career of visiting TV talk shows go on strike, taking Butters with them.
- A school assignment pairs the boys up with Tweek, a neurotic boy who claims that gnomes are stealing his underwear. Meanwhile, Tweek's father fights against a corporation that is stealing his business.
- The boys lie to get ninja weapons from the fair, but must decide whether or not to tell their parents when Butters is injured with a throwing star.
- Pip attends boarding school in an adaptation of "Great Expectations."
- Cartman goes overboard directing a Thanksgiving production of "The Miracle Worker." Meanwhile, Timmy develops a bond with a runt turkey named Gobbles.
- A class war ensues in South Park when it becomes a hot spot for rich celebrities. Meanwhile, Token feels rejected by his friends and goes to live with lions.
- Cartman puts a picture of Kenny's butt on a milk carton as a prank, but is disturbed when a couple arrives in South Park claiming it was a picture of their missing son.
- The town is divided down the middle on the Iraq war issue. Therefore, Cartman tries to induce a flashback so that he can find out what the Founding Fathers would have to say about the war.
- Mr. Mackey is fired from school after losing a marijuana sample in class and winds up becoming a druggie, and Kyle tries to keep his brother Ike from having his bris after he finds out what will take place during the ceremony.
- Society is almost destroyed when a popular television show uses the word "shit" on the air.
- The boys go to Canada to retrieve Ike, after his birth parents show up in South Park and claim him as their own.
- A surviving breed of dinosaur is discovered in South Park, but no one (except Cartman) can stand them.
- Kenny comes with Kyle to Jewish Camp and almost witnesses the destruction of the Jewish faith.
- The rock band Korn visits South Park during Halloween to solve the mystery of the pirate ghosts that are terrifying the town.
- After the boys start a Jr. Detective's Club and find a girl's missing doll, they are recruited by the county police department. Their first assignment: to break up a meth lab.
- Barbra Streisand comes to South Park after she learns that the boys have discovered a mysterious ancient stone. She hopes to unlock the stone's magical powers and transform herself into a deadly robotic giant.
- Stan, Kyle and Kenny go to Nebraska to spend Christmas with Eric's family. Meanwhile, Charlie Manson escapes from prison with Eric's uncle, and the boys help teach him the true meaning of Christmas.
- Mr. Garrison gets an operation and becomes a woman; Kyle gets surgery to become tall and black so he can play basketball; Gerald decides he wants to be a dolphin.
- Mr. Hankey hosts a collection of Christmas songs sung by South Park characters.
- The town is forced to remove anything that either has anything to do with Christmas or is offensive in the least bit to anyone. And Kyle tries to convince everyone of the existence of "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo."
- A freak electric storm causes Stan's future self to return to the present. Stan's future self is an unemployed drug addict, but Stan suspects that it is a hoax.
- The boys come face to face with Osama Bin Laden after they are mistakenly shipped to Afghanistan.
- The living dead beset South Park after a bottle of Worcestershire sauce mixes with embalming fluid at the mortuary; Tina Yothers judged a costume contest.
- A bully who was sent to juvenile hall in a misunderstanding is released, and comes looking for revenge.
- Kyle and Stan fight over what to name a man they found frozen in ice from 1996. Meanwhile, the government attempts to steal the frozen man.
- Cartman becomes an evangelical preacher when the boys break off from their church. Meanwhile, the feud between Saddam and Chris continues.
- After being shunned by his friends, Butters develops a villainous alter ego and sets out to wreak havoc on the town. Meanwhile, the boys search for a new friend.
- Improper sex ed classes lead to the boys declaring war on the girls.
- The boys begin to exaggerate stories when their student news show falls behind in the ratings.
- The gang gets lost in the rain forest after going to Costa Rica with a singing tour.
- Stan becomes inconsolable after Wendy breaks up with him, and Butters has a crush on a sexy waitress at a local restaurant.
- South Park residents are forced out of their homes when an Indian casino takes their land.
- Cartman plans an elaborate revenge when an older boy cons him out of money.
- South Park Elementary is nearly bankrupt when Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment.
- 1997– 22mTV-MA8.0 (2.9K)TV EpisodeRandy is outraged when Stan and the other boys start a boy band.
- Kyle, Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave travel to New York City to bring an end to the latest "metrosexual" fad, and discover that it's actually part of a crab-people conspiracy to take over the planet.
- Stan thinks his new pet fish is evil after it kills two people in his bedroom. Also, the parallel-universe version of Cartman shows up in South Park, and everyone likes him more than the real Cartman.
- The government tries to hunt down Starvin' Marvin after he steals an alien spaceship.
- The boys sponsor a starving Ethiopian child, only to have him show up on their doorstep.
- Mr. Slave fights against Paris Hilton when she becomes a bad influence on the girls in South Park. Meanwhile, Paris offers Butters' parents a huge amount of money if she can keep Butters as a pet.
- The boys try to save Chef from a woman who is stealing him from them. Meanwhile, Cartman gets glasses.
- Summer at South park is not going well: fireworks are banned, and a giant ash snake is ravaging the countryside.
- Stan tries to disprove psychic John Edward after a reading messes with Kyle's mind. Meanwhile, Cartman and Chef travel to Scotland to exorcise Kenny from Cartman's body.
- Mr. Garrison does what he can to get fired for being gay so he can sue the school for millions of dollars. This turns out to be easier said than done because the parents and school staff feel they have to be tolerant no matter what.
- Michael Jackson moves to South Park but tries to conceal his identity. and local cops try to frame him because he is a rich black man.
- 1997– 22mTV-MA9.3 (6K)TV EpisodeThe boys set off on a mythical quest to return a copy of the "The Lord of the Rings" movie to their local video store, while defending it from sixth graders.
- Stan enlists the help of an elite team of religious leaders including Jesus and Mohammed to help him rescue Kyle from a cult.
- 1997– 22mTV-MA8.0 (3.1K)TV EpisodeThe boys have to sit through an episode of "Fightin' Round The World" with Russell Crowe so they can see a preview for the new movie starring Terrence & Philip. However, bad luck forces them to race across town searching for a working TV.
- The boys enter the world of organized crime when they realize they can make money from the tooth fairy with other children's teeth.
- The boys tell the police that their parents molest them and soon there are no adults left in South Park. However, without authority figures, society crumbles.
- Stan develops a crush on a substitute teacher, which makes his girlfriend Wendy jealous. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison has plastic surgery.
- The boys try to rescue their new video game system from the hands of a government agency with the help of a talking towel named Towelie.
- Cartman's new trapper keeper threatens to assimilate the town unless Kyle and a robot from the future can stop it.
- The boys pit two classmates against each other for entertainment. Meanwhile, Kenny takes a home economics class.
- Stan is stuck playing with Butters and Pip at a party. Meanwhile, Randy and Gerald experiment with their sexuality.
- The kids go hunting with the rather trigger happy Jimbo and Ned. Little do they know that a volcano is on the verge of erupting.
- Kathie Lee Gifford comes to South Park to present an award to Cartman, and Mr. Garrison hopes to use the event to assassinate her.
- The boys start a talent agency and represent a woman named Wing in Hollywood.
- Stan helps a group of woodland critters by killing a mountain lion, only to discover that he's helping them give birth to the Antichrist.
- The boys feud with New Yorkers at a gathering of elementary school kids. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison confronts his father.
- A gang of kids from the O.C. challenge Stan to a dance-off. But before the big event, Butters must confront a painful event from his past.
- 1997– 22mTV-146.2 (3.8K)TV EpisodeTerrance and Phillip must go to Iran to rescue Terrance's kidnapped daughter. Meanwhile Saddam Hussein takes over Canada.
- Cartman leads the resistance when a mass of hippies accumulates in South Park and starts a music festival.
- Stan leads the boys in kidnapping all the baby cows from a local ranch after a first hand look at how veal is made turns him into a vegetarian.
- Randy is forced to go to AA meetings, where he becomes convinced that he has a disease. Desperate, he and Stan go on a pilgrimage to a statue of the virgin Mary that is miraculously bleeding from its ass.
- When Butters is invited to Kyle's birthday party instead of Cartman, Cartman kidnaps Butters and locks him in a bomb shelter.
- When a prank convinces the boys that a whale in a local aquarium is an alien from the moon, they go to extreme measures to send it home.
- Cartman leads a vendetta against kids with red hair and freckles, until a prank makes him think he is one of them.
- When people from a poverty-stricken future travel back in time to find work, South Park residents accuse them of taking their jobs.
- South Park takes all of the driver's licenses away from its senior citizens, and the AARP responds by launching an armed invasion of the town to defend their rights.
- The boys cope with loss when Kenny is hospitalized with a terminal disease. Cartman attempts to save him by legalizing stem cell research.
- Jimmy and Timmy land in the middle of a gang war; Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Kyle stay out of the way when stem cell research divides the town.
- Butters fakes his own death and disguises himself as a girl so he can infiltrate a sleepover and steal a fortune telling device from the girls. Meanwhile, Butters' father turns to the occult to bring back his son.
- Professor Chaos struggles to find an evil scheme that hasn't already been done on "The Simpsons." Meanwhile, Cartman accidentally creates life in his aquarium.
- The boys toilet paper their art teacher's house to get revenge for detention. When Kyle's guilty conscience makes him want to confess, Cartman makes an attempt on his life.
- Several religious leaders recongize Stan as the second coming of L. Ron Hubbard, and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help from a famous R&B sensation.
- Cartman dresses up as a robot from Japan, sent to Butters. He tricks him into believing it and can't give away his identity because he finds out Butters has a video of him dancing to Britney Spears and kissing a Justin Timberlake picture! It gets even more out of hand as the military decide to try to capture 'the robot' to make it a weapon.
- Stan worries that he is maturing more slowly than his friends. Meanwhile, Jesus feels pressured to perform a miracle at the start of the new millennium.
- Can Cartman and Kenny stay as "Best Friends Forever", even when Kenny buys the last PSP in stock?
- Jimmy gets his first erection just days before the school talent show.
- When a Wall-Mart built in South Park takes business away from local businesses, the boys go to the company's headquarters to get it destroyed.
- 1997– 22mTV-MA7.0 (2.8K)TV EpisodeThe boys attempt to reunite their idols Terrance & Philip after the Canadian duo has a falling out. Meanwhile, South Park falls under the control of environmentalists.
- When the boys decide to ignore Cartman, he assumes that he is dead, and enlists Butters to help him make up for his past sins.
- The boys enlist Kyle's cousin to help them lose in baseball so they won't have to go to the finals. Meanwhile, Randy trains to fight other parents during Stan's games.
- A drunken Civil War re-enactment leads to an actual Civil War breaking out.
- 1997– 22mTV-148.5 (3.3K)TV EpisodeWhen a dam breaks and floods a nearby town, South Park residents assume it was caused by global warming and barricade themselves in the community center.
- The boys try to build a ladder to heaven to retrieve a winning ticket Kenny had before he died. When their efforts are mistaken for an act of childhood innocence, a media circus ensues.
- Cartman deals with an abusive babysitter, her boyfriend, and a cat in heat when his mother goes to a party.
- The boys get angry and seek revenge when they discover that their parents orchestrated a sleepover at Kenny's house so they could all get chickenpox.
- Parents in South Park become gripped with fear that their children will be abducted, which leads to them taking more and more extreme measures to ensure their safety, finally culminating in a giant wall being built around the town.
- The boys start a group to stop a maniacal Steven Spielberg and George Lucas from altering Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) while also catering to a group who demand a trailer-trash toddler murderer be freed.
- Inspired by a corporate spokesman's phenomenal weight loss, the Boys hatch a plan to get free food from their favorite restaurant by fattening Butters up.
- The Marshes adopt a group of Romanian Quintuplets after they are orphaned in South Park. However, soon the Romanian government demands them back. Meanwhile, Kenny develops a talent for singing.
- Father Maxi travels to the Vatican to confront the growing problem of priests molesting children. Meanwhile, Cartman discovers that it is possible to crap out of your mouth.
- When an attempt to bring Christmas to Iraq turns disastrous, the boys head to Iraq with Jesus and Mr. Hankey to save Santa from terrorists.
- 1997– 22mTV-147.5 (3K)TV EpisodeThe boys investigate a mysterious conspiracy centered around the South Park Planetarium. Meanwhile, Cartman auditions for a TV commercial.
- Randy Marsh becomes a national hero after he discovers the reason why South Park residents are spontaneously combusting. Meanwhile, Kyle and Stan have a plan to help Kyle's dad get a res-erection.
- Kyle's cousin Kyle, a negative Jewish stereotype, comes to town to visit. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison comes up with an only-slightly more pleasant alternative to airline travel.
- 1997– 22mTV-147.5 (3.1K)TV EpisodeThe kids get revenge on Jimbo and Ned after they fail their report on Vietnam. However, their practical joke sparks a fierce ratings war between "Jesus and Pals" and Jimbo and Ned's hunting program.
- A handicapped boys' arrival in class leads to protest. Meanwhile, the boys are diagnosed with ADD and heavily medicated.
- The boys have a hard time relating to two new students who have been home schooled.
- Jimmy begins using steroids to improve his chances in the special Olympics. Meanwhile, Cartman disguises himself as a handicapped boy so he can enter as well and win the cash prize.
- Cartman joins NAMBLA, thinking it will introduce him to more mature friends. Meanwhile, Kenny tries to dispose of his unborn baby brother.
- The boys deal with a strict new teacher and experiment with time travel as Mr. Garrison comes to terms with his sexuality.
- After a long hiatus, Chef returns to South Park, but the boys notice that he isn't the same friend he used to be.
- Stan persuades everyone in town to buy hybrid cars, not realizing the new cars cause a different kind of dangerous emission.
- The town is in panic when Family Guy angers the Muslim world by attempting to air an image of Mohammed.
- Cartman finds an unlikely ally in his quest to cancel Family Guy; The people of South Park bury their heads in sand pits to avoid watching the episode.
- Towelie's autobiography, "A Million Little Fibers," becomes Oprah Winfrey's official Book of the Month selection and a bestseller... but for how long?
- Al Gore gets the boys trapped in Cave of the Winds while trying to kill the purported "Manbearpig"; Cartman finds treasure that he attempts to steal.
- Eric's mom turns to Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan as a last resort to turn him to a good little boy, but he may have also turned him into a repressed killer.
- The boys dedicate their lives to defeating a high level player killing other players in World of Warcraft.
- Kyle sets out to prove that 9/11 wasn't a government conspiracy, and actually uncovers a government conspiracy to create a conspiracy.
- Kyle discovers that his brother Ike is having a sexual relationship with his kindergarten teacher. The police are reluctant to help, so Kyle is forced to turn to the new school hall monitor for help: Eric "Dawg" Cartman.
- Satan returns to Earth to throw a huge members-only Holloween party in Los Angeles, and the boys keep summoning the ghost of Biggie Smalls--which means that he's going to miss the party.
- Cartman tries to cryogenically freeze himself so he doesn't have to wait for the new Nintendo Wii; Ms. Garrison falls for the new Evolution teacher.
- Cartman is stuck in the future, in the middle of an international civil war between rival Atheist factions. And he STILL can't play Nintendo Wii.
- When Stan loses his job as the paperboy, he decides to become the coach of the local Pee Wee Hockey team, just to make some money. Unfortunately, he gets way more than he bargained for.
- Stan becomes a social outcast after his father Randy says "the N-Word" on national television, but Michael Richards and Mark Furhman come to Randy's rescue.
- Cartman takes a photo with Butters' penis in his mouth to prove Butters is gay. He later finds out what the picture really means and freaks out when the photo disappears. Meanwhile, Butters has to go to a special camp to calm his urges.
- A lice outbreak hits Ms. Garrison's class, and at least one parasite is determined to survive after his lice civilization is destroyed.
- While trying to find a way to persecute the new Arab kid in his class, Cartman accidentally uncovers an unrelated plot to assassinate Hillary Clinton at a South Park political rally.
- In a parody of "The daVinci Code," Stan discovers the real reason behind Easter, decorating eggs, and the Easter Bunny.
- Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves the women's bar from a Persian takeover.
- Terrorists attack Imaginationland, in an attempt to take over peoples' imagination; Kyle refuses to follow through with his promise to suck Cartman's balls.
- With the help of Stan and Kyle, the military is able to access the portal to Imaginationland; Cartman goes to great lengths to get Kyle to suck his balls after the leprechaun bet.
- Stan and Butters engage in battle as they fight the army of evil imaginary forces; Cartman once again goes to great lengths to get Kyle to suck his balls.
- Stan and Kyle become local celebrities after they score 100,000 points on the video game "Guitar Hero." A talent agent signs them to a contract, which ends up ruining their friendship.
- One day after Kyle gives $20 to a homeless person, South Park becomes overrun with panhandlers.
- Cartman fakes having Tourette's syndrome so he can say whatever he wants, but faking the condition begins to wear on his mental filter.
- Randy Marsh sets the world record for the biggest bowel movement, until Bono comes along and challenges it.
- Randy comes to terms with his role in the COVID-19 outbreak as the pandemic presents challenges to the citizens of South Park. The kids happily return to school, but nothing resembles the normal they once knew.
- The girls in the fourth grade class have made a secret list that rates every boy's looks from cutest to ugliest. When the boys steal the list, they are completely unprepared to deal with the results.
- After Cartman and Kyle are infected with the AIDS virus, they turn to Magic Johnson for assistance in finding a cure.
- Distraught over the media's nonstop coverage of her, Britney Spears attempts to commit suicide, but survives despite blowing the top half of her head off. Disgusted by this treatment of her, the boys attempt to help, only to learn the secret behind the media's cruel scrutiny of celebrities.
- South Park declares cats illegal after kids start getting high on cat urine. Cartman starts hiding neighborhood cats in his attic to protect them, and Kenny becomes an addict and starts having Heavy Metal (1981) hallucinations.
- Canada goes on strike and demands more money, but nobody takes the strike seriously. However, the boys try to make money for Canada by turning Butters into an Internet video star.
- Cartman is commended for his excellent substitute teaching, so he is brought to the inner city to help the high schoolers. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison wants to be Mr. Garrison again.
- A prolonged Internet service outage hits South Park and most of the rest of the country, and Randy moves the Marsh family to California hoping to find a connection (and Internet porn for himself).
- A class field trip to a frontier park turns into a hostage situation when a group of robbers use the park to evade the police, but the park employees won't help resolve the situation because they won't get out of character.
- Cartman and Butters go to P.F. Chang's to try to uncover the Chinese conspiracy to take over the U.S. Stan and Kyle accuse Steven Spielberg and George Lucas of raping Indiana Jones.
- Cartman makes fun of Wendy after she delivers a report on breast cancer. She challenges him to a fight, but he keeps finding ways to get out of it. But he also won't stop making fun of her.
- With Craig's help, the boys start up a Peruvian pan flute band to make money. However, they are detained by Homeland Security and sent to Peru to end the "Pandemic." In the pan flute bands' absence, giant guinea pigs invade South Park.
- While the rest of the nation is distracted by the results of the presidential election, Barack Obama and John McCain set out to complete their true combined objective: a daring "Ocean's Eleven" style jewel heist.
- The boys try to resist the "High School Musical" fad when it hits South Park Elementary, while also trying to convince the school's top singer that he should follow his dream and try out for the basketball team.
- Butters starts hanging out with the Vampire kids, who are angering the Goth kids at South Park Elementary because everybody is confusing the Vampire kids with them.
- Craig and the boys are stranded in the Andes Mountains while giant guinea pigs wreak havoc all over the planet. Craig is the only person who can end the terror, but he doesn't care and won't do anything about it.
- The citizens of South ParQ are clamoring for the COVID-19 vaccine. A hilarious new militant group tries to stop the boys from getting their teacher vaccinated.
- The boys discover that the Jonas Brothers' purity ring campaign is just part of Disney's plot to get away with marketing sex to pre-teen girls.
- Cartman tries to become a superhero, only to have another fourth grader steal his thunder by becoming one too and becoming more popular.
- In a parody of the final weeks of Christ's life, South Park goes into hysterics over the failing economy, but Kyle begins preaching that there is no reason for fear. Meanwhile, Stan unsuccessfully tries to return his dad's margarita machine.
- The fart-loving males of South Park try to ban vaginal flatulence in Colorado after "Terrance & Phillip" is replaced by "The Queef Sisters."
- Jimmy comes up with the perfect joke, but Cartman wants to take half the credit for it. However, Kanye West doesn't get the joke, and vows revenge on the person who came up with it.
- Randy and Stan accidentally reach warp speed when Randy illegally soups up Stan's Pinewood Derby racer, which prompts a visit by an alien gangster and the space police trying to track him down.
- Cartman leads a group of schoolmates to Somalia to become pirates.
- When Ike is haunted by dead celebrities, Kyle and the boys hire professional ghost hunters to investigate the Broflovski house for paranormal activity.
- What happened to the children who lived through the Pandemic? Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny survived, but will never be the same Post-COVID.
- Butters starts his own pimping business, while a local police officer takes his undercover prostitution sting a little too far.
- The boys form their own wrestling federation, but seem to be more concerned with theatrics and storylines than the actual sport.
- Stan is upset about the Japanese killing whales and dolphins, so he takes command of the Sea Shepherd on the "Whale Wars" reality show and does something about it.
- The boys try to get the meaning of the word "fag" changed from homosexual to motorcycle riders.
- Cartman takes over the morning school announcements and turns it into a personal soapbox against school president Wendy Testaburger.
- When the pee levels reach a critical stage at a local water park, chaos and disaster ensue. However, after the disaster, Cartman remains obsessed with the number of minorities who are "taking over" the park.
- Cartman locks horns with his mom and has a battle of wills, while an epic conflict threatens South Park's existence.
- After Tiger Woods comes clean, America becomes obsessed with the "epidemic" of rich men having sex with lots of women. As a result, Kyle and Butters are labeled as sex addicts and are placed in treatment.
- The boys try to write the most graphic, offensive book ever, and then blame Butters when Stan's mom finds it. But when the book is hailed as a work of literary genius, Butters becomes the "voice of a generation."
- Randy deliberately gets testicular cancer so that he can receive a medicinal marijuana prescription, while Cartman becomes a black market KFC dealer when all of the restaurants are shut down for being unhealthy.
- When attempting to delete his Facebook profile, Stan is sucked into a virtual Facebook world; Kyle befriends a friendless third-grader, with drastic consequences.
- Tom Cruise gathers other celebrities mocked by South Park and threatens a class action lawsuit unless the town brings Mohammed to them, so that they can obtain his powers not to be ridiculed.
- If Stan, Kyle and Cartman could just work together, they could go back in time to make sure Covid never happened and save Kenny's life. Traveling back to the past seems to be the easy answer until they meet Victor Chaos.
- As the celebrities and the gingers battle over who gets possession of Mohammed, the Super Best Friends come to Mohammed's rescue. Meanwhile, Cartman may finally discover the "real" truth about the identity of his father.
- The boys stage an intervention for Towelie after he falls off the wagon while working at Timmy and Jimmy's summer camp. At the camp, a jealous camper resorts to dirty tricks to beat Jimmy in a series of competitions.
- PC Principal bans the 4th-grade class from Pajama Day.
- Cartman wants to be a NASCAR driver when he grows up but believes he's too rich and too smart and that in order to be a NASCAR racer and enjoy it, he has to be poor and stupid. In order to achieve his goal, he enlists the help of Butters, and the feminine hygiene product Vagisil.
- South Park tries to keep New Jersey from spreading to their town, and they are forced to turn to some of their enemies for help.
- A new superhero named "Captain Hindsight" emerges to help with a new BP oil spill, and The Coon tries to make sure that he joins his union of superheroes.
- Mysterion assumes control of South Park's superhero alliance after The Coon is kicked out. Meanwhile, The Coon plots his plan for revenge by conspiring with the enemy, and where is Captain Hindsight when the world needs him?
- Stan and Mr. Mackey suffer a hoarding disorder. In an attempt to find the cause for it, they get trapped in Mr. Mackey's dream.
- Cartman and Cthulhu get their revenge on Coon and Friends, while Mysterion continues to try and discover the secret behind his superpower of never being able to die.
- Randy becomes addicted to the Food Network, and Sharon tries to compensate for his lack of attention by turning to the Shape Weight.
- Stan is horrified to realize that he has misinterpreted some of the greatest writing of all time.
- Cartman is furious with his mom when she tells him about her new job.
- A lot is riding on Butters' ability to crush the competition in the all-important dressage championship.
- The boys find out that the joys of playing Airsoft come with the challenges of dealing with teenagers.
- 1997– 22mTV-MA7.1 (1.7K)TV EpisodeButters is shocked to learn that people in South Park don't understand what St. Patrick's Day is really about.
- After Kyle clicks on the latest iTunes user agreement without reading it, Steve Jobs forces him to be an unwilling participant in his latest project. Meanwhile, Cartman equates his mom not giving him an iPad to sexual abuse.
- After Jimmy declares that the Germans are the least funny people in the world in his comedy awards show, they retaliate by creating "Funnybot" an automated comedian who is so funny that it puts all other comedians out of work.
- During the televised Canadian royal wedding, the bride-to-be is kidnapped by an unknown entity. After a call to arms is issued to Canadians, Ike travels to Canada, abandoning his role in Mr. Mackey's kindergarten play about dental hygiene.
- Feeling guilty after watching another commercial about helpless children set to Sarah McLachlan singing, Kyle volunteers and is shocked to find Cartman helping crack babies at the hospital already. Kyle gets drawn into Cartman's despicable plot, thinking he can also help the crack babies.
- Thinking the school has posted the size of all the kid's penises for the whole school to see, Cartman works all the boys up into tizzy. The principal decides it's time to address Cartman's anger issues by having him take anger management classes. Cartman uses his anger to enrage the class and hold a business hostage. Stan's dad decides to teach the students how to properly measure penis size, using complex mathematical formulas.
- A new Sushi shop moves into South Park and an Asian turf war is ignited between the "Japanese" owner of City Sushi and the "Chinese" owner of City Wok.
- Stan turns ten and suddenly things change and everything seems like crap to him; music, movies, food, and life in general.
- Stan is diagnosed with Asperger's but soon realizes that the disease isn't real. Meanwhile, Cartman creates a disgusting overnight food sensation.
- During a game of border patrol vs. Mexicans, where the kids play the two groups, Butters goes missing and eventually winds up in Mexico where he becomes their new leader, Mantequilla. Suddenly legal and illegal alien Mexicans flood back across the border to Mexico for a better life because of the decline of the U.S. economy. Eric joins the U.S. border patrol and squares off against Butters.
- When South Park Elementary is the victim of a gossip website named Eavesdropper, all hell breaks loose - who will save the day; Cartman or Gerbil King Lemmiwinks?
- Randy discovers a secret: women give blow jobs after seeing stage musicals because there are hidden subliminal references to blow jobs in the songs and women don't know it. Shelly has a love interest.
- When Cartman's lack of fitness starts impacting on the "99%" of kids at South Park Elementary, he has to deal with some too-close-to-home revenge killings.
- Upon Eric's advice, the boys use The History Channel's special on the first thanksgiving, to write their school report, but Stan has misgivings when the special insists aliens were part of it. A secret organization, a pilgrim from outer space, a stuffing shortage, and war between two worlds hangs in the balance and only the boys are caught in the midst of it all.
- After Kenny's parents are arrested and he and his siblings are sent to a foster home, Eric searches for who is the new poor kid in South Park and the results are shocking. Mysterion must help his brother and sister and the rest of the foster children get out of the abusive foster home.
- A drought has brought the town of South Park to the brink of disaster.
- After Ike accidentally sees mom and dad having sex, with Gerald dressed as a UPS man, the kids create a stir leading men in South Park thinking the UPS man is secretly having sex with their wives.
- Butters starts acting out, yelling, telling people off, and even beating one kid up. Little does Butters know, but he's reached a special age and that there's more going on than he knows, and that he wasn't born in South Park.
- The boys are excited to go trick-or-treating, dressed as the Avengers, but Stan is unable to come because Randy has bought a Blockbuster Video franchise location in South Park.
- The world is rocked by news that a performance enhancing drug was found in test results from Jesus, used to make his miracles and thus did not die for our sins, and now people across the world become disillusioned, except Stan who refuses to cut his What Would Jesus Do? bracelet off. And in the process Stan inadvertently creates a world wide movement.
- Cartman has stolen thousands of ballots from swing states in order to assure Obama's re-election all in a bid to get himself a part in the new Star Wars movie now that Disney owns the franchise.
- Cartman launches a gemstones network show and creates a very lucrative business. Stan searches for the real value of a piece of jewelry that was a gift from his Grandpa. Meanwhile, Cartmans lucrative new business preys upon an extremely vulnerable clientele.
- The boys take part in a new, dangerous photographic meme.
- Cartman starts convincing people a mystical blood-sucking from Mexico he calls the Jewpacabra, exists and that the kids and folks of South Park are in danger for the upcoming Easter Egg hunt.
- As bullying at South Park Elementary becomes more severe, the kids take action against it after seeing Butters beaten up, but Butters has a secret about his tormentor.
- Eric, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny go ziplining but find it's incredibly boring and the fellow ziplining tourists drive them crazy. Now they must do all that they can to escape from the group and get off the mountain back to normal life.
- There's a new girl in school and she's black, so Cartman instantly assumes Token wants her, but when Token doesn't seem interested, Eric sets up an elaborate scheme to put the two together.
- Angered over the overly sensitive parents in South Park over their kids playing football because of recent news about concussions, Randy invents the game Sarcastaball in order to get people to see how stupid they've been.
- Cartman finally realizes he is too fat and decides to do something about it, while James Cameron realizes the societal bar has been lowered too low, and goes on a deep sea expedition to find the bar to raise it.
- An unspeakable tragedy occurs when one of the boys leaves the toilet seat up after he uses the bathroom.
- Cartman goes to infiltrate the NSA for his personal file, but doesn't like what he finds.