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- 1997–201030mTV-PG7.5 (394)TV EpisodeBill opens a Santa Claus village at his house and annoys Hank by keeping it open well after Christmas.
- Hank wins an Alamo beer can contest and travels to Louisiana to complete it for a monetary prize; the Hill Family stays with Bill's relatives, while Bobby picks up foppish habits from Bill's cousin, Gilbert.
- Hank and the boys become volunteer firemen, but when the firehouse burns down, they all have a different version of how the event took place.
- Nine Rivers, Arlen's all-Asian country Club, is under pressure to have a non-Asian member, so Khan tries to get Hank to join.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.2 (316)TV EpisodeBobby impresses no one but his teacher when he learns Commedia Dell'Arte.
- The Hills travel to Montana where Peggy attempts to make amends with her estranged rancher mother; Meanwhile, Hank clashes with the locals and Henry Winkler.
- Hank enters his house in Arlen's parade of homes showcase, but when the hill house tests positive for mold, Hank and his family must relocate to a seedy hotel.
- Hank has the misfortune of being left all alone with Connie right when she gets her first period. He tries to handle the situation the best way he knows how, and unfortunately, he doesn't.
- When Bobby repeatedly disobeys Hank, he is forced to attend the same boot camp Cotton went to in his youth. But to Cotton's horror, the once draconian facility now mollycoddles its cadets.
- Bobby falls head-over-heals for a classmate. Hank and his friends discover an abandoned couch in the alleyway where they normally stand and drink beer.
- 1997–201030mTV-PG6.9 (344)TV EpisodePeggy pretends to be a nun to get a job teaching Spanish at a Catholic school.
- When Luanne runs up a large credit-card debt, Peggy vows to help her pay it off... but ends up buying a roller-derby team in the process.
- After Hank finds an arrow head in his lawn, Peggy gives a archaeologist permission to have an archaeological dig their yard.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.2 (345)TV EpisodeConnie's delinquent cousin, Tid Pao, wreaks havoc while visiting Arlen.
- Bill spreads lice to Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer. When Hanks gets his head shaved, he's surprised to discover he has a tattoo on his scalp.
- Peggy becomes a customer service representative for Alamo Beer, Hank's favorite brand. She is sworn to secrecy about the reason for the beer's sudden unavailability in the area.
- Peggy starts selling health bars, but when her business is slow, she uses Bill to do all the work and takes most of the money.
- When Bill's high school football record is broken unfairly, Hank convinces him to return to the field and re-claim his record.
- A track coach uses Bobby to shame good athletes when they get out of line.
- Luanne becomes a boxer.
- Hank and his friends tend to the grass on a football field to keep the groundskeeper from being fired; and Luanne falls for Lucky's new rims.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.4 (321)TV EpisodeHank commissions Peggy to create some artwork to satisfy the local zoning board after they approve a Strickland Propane expansion, but Peggy is humiliated when an art dealer promotes her as an illiterate hillbilly.
- Hank's truck is on its last wheels and he balks at the thought of getting a new truck, much to the chagrin of friends and family.
- Peggy takes over as coach of the cheerleading squad, and switches the girls from elaborate dance routines to violent spectacle.
- Cotton helps Peggy rehabilitate, while Peggy uncovers the truth behind Cotton's war stories.
- When racecar driver John Force needs a kidney transplant, Dale turns out to be a perfect match; and Peggy helps Bobby win over his classmates when he reads announcements over the school's intercom system.
- Cotton plays detective when someone begins drinking Hank's grapefruit juice; and Dale tries to launch his own home security company.
- Bobby and Hank compete in a dog dancing contest.
- Boomhauer plans to ask his girlfriend to marry him.
- Hank inadvertently causes Kahn to lose his job.
- Buckley is killed in an explosion at Mega Lo Mart.
- After Dale behaves like a big jerk, Hank and the boys steal his lawnmower and blame it on a conspiracy, pushing Dale to the limits of his sanity.
- Hanks accompanies his mother and some of her friends on a trip to a museum on an island during Spring Break, the only problem is MTV and the college students are there, too.
- A dashing Mexican television star asks Peggy to spend two weeks south of the border to tutor his children, but Peggy gets the feeling that the actor wants to have an affair with her.
- Hank joins the town council to uncover the truth behind the recent requirement of ineffectual low-flow toilets.
- Peggy opens her own bookstore, but when she discovers that customers are nonexistent, she reluctantly allows Dale to sublet space so he can sell guns.
- While searching for a sorority to join, Luanne inadvertently joins a brainwashing cult, while Hank can't bring himself to kill an emu.
- After Hank catches Bobby freak dancing at a concert, he forbids his son from attending a boys-and-girls slumber party--but Bobby sneaks off on his own.
- Luanne joins forces with Hank to protest a propane ban at the Texas State Fairground grill-off; and Peggy goes to extreme lengths to gain access to a laundry room where an infamous murder took place.
- Bobby is excited about going on his first deer hunting trip, but Hank fails to obtain the proper license in time and must seek an alternative.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG8.0 (405)TV EpisodeWhen Bill forms a friendship with Former Texas Governor Ann Richards, his ex-wife Lenore returns.
- Hank starts taking yoga classes after injuring his back at work; and Peggy bags groceries at a mom-and-pop store that's having a hard time competing against Megalomart.
- Hank must wear a prosthesis when he is diagnosed with Diminished Gluteal Syndrome.
- Hank's regular barber, Jack, has a mental breakdown and bleaches Hank's hair. Needing a proper haircut for the Strickland Christmas card photo, Hank hires Bill to cut his hair, but receives an absurd invoice from the military afterwards.
- Hank and his friends make a video to persuade the Dallas Cowboys to relocate their training camp to Arlen.
- Hank fights to clear his good name after mistakenly being charged for not returning a dirty movie to the local video store.
- Bobby accidentally hits Hank's hero, Willie Nelson, with a golf club.
- Hank is very embarrassed about his constipation. It certainly doesn't help his condition with Peggy telling all her friends, making Hank go to a proctologist and treating him like a child over it.
- Buck Strickland is getting a divorce. Since Texas is a community property state, he sells Sugarfoot's Barbecue to Hank until the divorce is final.
- The Hills and their friends are all stranded at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport the night before Thanksgiving.
- When Debbie, Buck's former girl Friday and lover, turns up dead in a dumpster, a city detective suspects Hank of murdering her.
- Hank is excited about Halloween until someone complains and has the holiday canceled.
- After Hank and Peggy unknowingly board a prostitute, her violent pimp shows up looking for her. Then they soon discover that Hank has been unwittingly "pimping" her all around town.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.0 (299)TV EpisodeHank reacts with disbelief when he realizes Bobby's history textbook contains almost nothing on the Alamo; and Peggy photographs a Flat Stanley doll to help teach kids about geography and safety issues.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.7 (599)TV EpisodeWhen Bobby discovers the one sport he is good at, marksmanship, he and Hank decide to enter a father & son tournament. As it turns out Hank is a terrible marksman.
- Much to Hank's dismay, Bobby becomes a plus sized model.
- Puberty hits 12 year-old Joseph before it hits 13 year-old Bobby. Hank builds coffins for himself and Peggy.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.1 (319)TV EpisodePeggy convinces Principal Moss to hire her as the new full-time organic gardening teacher by promising the vegetables to the football team. However, organic gardening proves much harder than it sounds.
- While working part-time at Hank's high school, Peggy learns that the story of her first Valentine's date may have been a lie. Bobby has a secret admirer.
- After spending some depressing time with Bill on Valentine's Day, Bobby starts to fear he'll end up alone. He turns his desperation towards Connie until Hank steps in and asks Boomhauer to teach Bobby how to 'pitch woo'.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.6 (328)TV EpisodeBill believes he has found acceptance when he joins a glee club.
- Hank joins Bobby's science class in opposition to a plan to drain the quarry and put a landfill there, because it will reveal a practical joke which he, Dale, and Bill played on Boomhauer in high school.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG8.2 (455)TV EpisodeWhile Luanne gets a job at a country club, Hank has an unpleasant encounter with a dolphin.
- Peggy jeopardizes a potential deal for Hank by trying to bring Women's Liberation to the Arlen Renaissance Fair.
- In an effort to catch more fish than his friends, Hank decides to buy special "bait" from a street vendor. He soon finds himself in trouble with the law.
- A drug addict is hired at Strickland, and his lawyer informs Hank that the business must accommodate for the man's "disability". Soon every other employee at Strickland is claiming made-up conditions in order to avoid a heavy workload.
- When Bobby is caught trying a cigarette, Hank decides the proper discipline is making Bobby smoke an entire carton. The result sparks an old smoking habit of Hank's and Peggy's, as well as a new habit in Bobby.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.7 (377)TV EpisodeBobby pretends to be a high schooler with a congenital kidney disease that has stunted his growth. He later adds to the charade by claiming Connie has a vestigial tail.
- After Hank fires him as his exterminator, Dale infests Hanks lawn with ants in order to seek revenge.
- Luanne's mother, Leanne, is released from prison and takes up residence with the Hill family. Trouble begins to brew, however, when she starts dating Bill and falls into some old habits.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.7 (482)TV EpisodeBobby gets a job handing out snacks and drinks at a local racetrack, but when he reports that his boss has something off about him mentally, Hank ignores the problem. Bobby's safety is increasingly put at risk as a result.
- Hank gives Peggy a run for her money as Substitute of the Year when he teaches shop at Tom Landry, but gets into trouble when he brings tools to the class.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG8.2 (402)TV EpisodeHank lives up to his boyhood dream of driving a big rig when helping his mother to move. Bobby tags along and, unfortunately, so do Dale, Bill and Boomhauer; Meanwhile Peggy and Luanne write a very poor Christmas carol.
- While Bobby comes down with a case of gout when he becomes addicted to deli food, Hank is horrified to find an X-ray of his colon in an art museum.
- Luanne joins a church group to become a "born-again virgin," where Peggy reveals a shocking fact about her past.
- After Buckley dumps Luanne Hank takes it upon himself to find her a new boyfriend, but for his own personal gain.
- Peggy accidentally brings a Mexican girl into the country after a Spanish class field trip to Mexico. When she tries to bring her back, she is arrested for kidnapping.
- Kahn reacts with horror when his mother becomes the Hills' maid... and Bill's lover.
- After Hank buys Luanne some cheap animal puppets at a yard sale, she cobbles together an amateur religious puppet show. Hank is initially happy to help, until the show's secured spot on local TV interferes with the timing of the Super Bowl.
- Bobby forms a comedy group called The Propaniacs, who goes around to several Strickland Propane locations with their propane-centered skits.
- Hank puts his reputation on the line when he recommends Dale for an exterminator job at Megalomart...only to realize that Dale thinks the vermin is Chuck Mangione; Bobby cheats at a game by stuffing beans up his nose.
- Luanne is sick of Hank's rules and regulations, so she rents the house next door with three other people. When she gets angry at them for being irresponsible, she gets upset because she's acting just like Hank would.
- During the Christmas season, a dying, elderly woman wants to spend her final days in the Hills' house, which used to be hers.
- Hank realizes he doesn't have any home-owner's insurance; Dale realizes people are willing to pay money to be stung by bees; Bill and Boomhauer discover the pleasures of a deep fryer; and Peggy and Luanne get stuck at a highway rest stop.
- Bill pretends to be a homosexual to get a job at a trendy beauty salon.
- A washed-up football star moves into the neighborhood.
- Dale meets the woman of his dreams when the neighborhood becomes infested with pigeons; Hank serves as Luanne's designated driver on her birthday, only to end up getting drunk.
- After Thanksgiving dinner, Hank's feelings about his mother translate into an argument with his father over the latest model of a lawn mower.
- Hank strikes up a friendship with a man just like himself, straining his relationship with Dale, Bill and Boomhauer; Cotton puts up his own child as collateral so he can test drive a new car.
- After performing at a retirement home with his class, Bobby receives a ventriloquist's dummy from one of the residents there. Hank begrudgingly warms up to the idea, but Dale is deathly afraid of it due to a traumatic childhood experience.
- Peggy authors one of Bobby's English papers, only to have a rival substitute teacher uncover the deception; Bill displays an enormous American flag on his property.
- Tensions run high when Boomhauer's brother, Patch, proposes to Boomhauer's old flame. As the wedding is planned, Boomhauer soon discovers that Patch is behaving like a sleazy pervert on the side.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.9 (430)TV EpisodePeggy survives the fall with several broken bones and paralysis, while Cotton names his newborn son G.H., which stands for "Good Hank."
- Peggy substitutes in the geometry class at Arlen High, where she attracts the ire of local businessmen for giving a failing grade to a star football player.
- Peggy and Hank head to Dallas so Peggy can compete in a boggle tournament, but Hank decides to forego the tournament in order to attend a lawnmower expo.
- The Hills go to a country music festival in Nashville, where no one believes Peggy when she says that Randy Travis plagiarized a song she submitted to him.
- Peggy competes in a pageant exclusively for mothers in an attempt to win a truck of her own.
- Bobby is diagnosed with ADD, which causes Peggy to quit her job and keep an eye on him. Peggy begins to question her role in life when she starts taking guitar lessons from a feminist musician.
- Hank and his friends take Bobby on an "eat only what you catch" camping trip, only to discover that the park has been overrun by hippies.
- Luanne is wooed by millionaire Trip Larsen...who has bizarre plans for her.
- A social worker mistakenly believes that Hank is abusing Bobby. When Bobby finds out what is happening, he takes advantage of the situation.
- Joseph is throwing a co-ed party and informs Bobby there is going to be kissing. Never haven kissed a girl, Bobby practices on a plastic head Luanne was given for beauty school.
- Hank wants Ladybird to have babies, but the veterinarian tells him it would be nearly impossible, so he attempts to discover a way to get her pregnant.
- During the Christmas season, Bill becomes suicidal and his friends have to watch him. Things take a bizarre turn when he decides to become his ex-wife Lenore.
- Buck Strickland is forced to close the Arlen branch of Strickland Propane after the local Mega Lo Mart begins selling propane at a lower price. As a result, Hank has to take a job at Mega Lo- working under Buckley.
- After attending couples counseling, Hank and Peggy buy a motorcycle and head for Sturgis, South Dakota to attend a giant biker rally. But trouble erupts when Hank refuses to allow Peggy to do the driving.
- Hank is accused of being a racist when Ladybird barks at a black repairman.
- Hank reacts with horror when Bobby's Bible study group turns out to be populated with Christian skate punks who wear tattoos and dress like rockers; Dale and his friends form a Last Supper club.
- Cotton returns to Japan to learn that he has an illegitimate son.
- Cotton is suspected of arson when the church burns down; the police believe that he did it because of the new woman pastor.
- Bobby secretly becomes a rodeo clown.
- Hank calls into question his loyalty to Propane and the direction of his life after he finds out Buck Strickland owns an electric range.
- When Dale is ridiculed by the Arlen Gun Club for accidentally misfiring a weapon, his friends must come up with a plan to help restore Dale's self-esteem.
- Peggy is chosen to be the Sex Education teacher at Bobby's school.
- Bobby joins the school's academic team, where he specializes in pop culture, but the stress proves too much for him to handle.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.5 (389)TV EpisodeHank is chosen to coach Strickland Propane's softball team and invites Peggy to play pitcher, which spurs friction between the two when Peggy becomes the star player.
- Bobby infuriates Hank by training as a student counsellor, then upsets Connie by breaking the rules and dating one of his own clients - only to be stalked by a girl he's just advised to break up with her boyfriend.
- Luanne moves back into her home, a trailer, just as a twister is about to hit.
- Hank is sentenced to attend an anger management class after accidentally sawing off Dale's finger.
- A new Strickland Propane employee revels in making off-color jokes, driving Hank crazy.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.9 (377)TV EpisodeConnie plays the fiddle in Hank's bluegrass band, but keeps it a secret from her father, who wants her to go to Van Cliburn's violin academy.
- Hank struggles to portray himself and his life as that of a stereotypical Texan cowboy's for a Hollywood cowboy movie fan in order to secure a business deal for Strickland Propane.
- Dale can no longer work as an exterminator because the chemicals he uses have eroded his sinuses. Thus, he must get an office job.
- A cute groupie convinces Bill to enter a hotdog eating contest that pits him against a Laotian champion.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.3 (362)TV EpisodeHank and Cotton clash during the Christmas season while working for Habitat for Humanity.
- Cotton and Dale plot to steal the wooden leg of historical Mexican General Santa Anna while it is on display in the Arlen museum.
- Hank and Peggy become concerned when the leering Buck Strickland ends up in Luanne's Bible study class; Bobby skips gym class to have tea and scones at the posh Hotel Arlen.
- Peggy suspects that Hank suffers from Irritable Male Syndrome and begins spiking his coffee with testosterone, turning Hank from low-energy everyman to muscled go-getter.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.6 (581)TV EpisodeHank and the guys seek vengeance after a group of teenagers beat them at paint-ball.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.3 (763)TV EpisodeWhen Bobby becomes a member of the Straight Arrows, Hank, Dale, Bill, & Boomhauer volunteer to take them on a camping trip. While there Bobby accidentally kill a whooping crane.
- Hank meets Presidential candidate George W. Bush at a rally and is unimpressed by his handshake, while Luanne registers to vote as a Communist.
- Hank makes a bizarre decision to adopt the pet of a soldier, expecting a dog. When the military drops off a wholly unpleasant cat at the door instead, Hank realizes that the cat's vet bills will ruin his family's upcoming travel plans.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.8 (347)TV EpisodeAfter Connie becomes a victim of reverse discrimination, Kahn gives up his hopes and dreams and embraces the life of a hillbilly.
- Bobby ditches his towel manager responsibilities on the football team to work on growing his roses.
- Bobby and Connie get in trouble at school. They skirt their ensuing punishment and are joined by Joseph, as they head to "The Caves". Hank and Kahn quickly pursue them, knowing that the caves are Arlen's make-out point.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.8 (371)TV EpisodePeggy is dubbed a "genius" after taking an on-line test from the Texas Institute of Intelligence, which leads her into a series of confidence schemes.
- When Channel 83 replaces Nancy with Luanne as the weather lady, Dale concocts a scheme to sue a tobacco company to pay for a face lift for his wife.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.9 (564)TV EpisodeHank's mother bring home her new boyfriend, an affectionate Jewish man named Gary. After Hank sees the two of them having relations, he goes blind.
- Bobby and Luanne get into a petty feud over Luanne's narcissistic new boyfriend. Things get even weirder when Bobby messes with Luanne's birth control pills, and Hank and Peggy organize an elaborate prank to teach him a lesson.
- After Hank's old football coach takes over, Bobby quits football and turns to the kinder, gentler world of soccer, which Hank and Peggy find disconcerting.
- Hank, Dale and Kahn are stuck in Mexico after Kahn cheats a condo owner out of money. As a result, the Arlenians have to sneak across the Rio Grande back into Texas.
- Peggy gets a reputation for draconian discipline after spanking one of her students in class.
- The Olympic torch is passing through Arlen on its way to Salt Lake City, so Peggy nominates Bobby to carry the torch. He loses to Hank, whom his friends nominated behind his back.
- Hank, accompanied by Bobby, has to attend defensive driving classes taught by comedic instructor Boudda Sac (Chris Rock). Bobby, inspired by Sac's racially charged humor, decides to do his own "White Pride" routine.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.4 (405)TV EpisodePeggy is ashamed of her size 16 feet, but her shame turns to pride when an alleged doctor takes an interest in filming them. She does not know, however, that the man is really photographing them for a sex fetish website.
- Cotton and his army buddies have to stay at Hank's house when the VFW loses its lease.
- Bobby attempts to achieve yearbook immortality by becoming the school mascot.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.1 (337)TV EpisodeCotton loses his home and must go back to work to support Didi and G.H.
- Luanne believes that the angel of her late boyfriend Buckley has visited her.
- Hank is horrified when Bobby joins a group of "witches" who want the boy to drink dog's blood during one of their ceremonies.
- Buddhist monks believe Bobby is a lama.
- Hank is a proud Texan, which is all about to change when Cotton reveals to him he was born in New York City.
- Hank and the rest of the gang on Rainey St. gets a culture shock when their new Laotian neighbors move in next door.
- While Peggy is tricked into smuggling cocaine to a death row inmate, who is her former student, Dale decides that he wants to be an executioner.
- Arlen is hit with rains and flash floods. Bill finds himself put in charge of the shelter at Tom Landry Middle School, and instantly becomes mad with power and authority.
- Peggy suffers a mid-life crisis after a lackluster wedding anniversary, and goes skydiving as a result. Luanne has nowhere to stay as Hank and Peggy are out, and Didi goes into labor, with a panicked Bobby driving her to the hospital.
- When Bill goes to volunteer at a halfway house, he winds up housing a group of recovering alcoholics at his own home.
- Tension erupts between Peggy, Minh and Nancy when a seat opens on the school board and each of the women announces their intention to run.
- To Hank's chagrin, Bobby learns to protect himself by kicking boys in the groin.
- Bobby joins the wrestling team and is caught in a dilemma when he has to fight Connie in order to make the team.
- Peggy gets a job at the town newspaper writing a household tips column, but inadvertently gives readers the recipe for mustard gas.
- Enrique's marriage is in limbo, but rather than face up to his problems, he tries to find someone else to turn to. He chooses to confide in a heartless Hank who casts him out.
- Peggy gets jealous of Bobby's home economic skills. Bill loses a million dollar bet to Dale.
- When Bobby develops an allergy to Ladybird's dander, Hank makes him live in the dog house he built for the dog who refuses to live in it.
- Hank prevails on Dale and Boomhauer to invite Bill and himself on their annual fishing trip.
- Hank is devastated when Peggy uncovers some unsavory facts about the founding of the town of Arlen.
- As Y2K approaches, everybody fears the approaching millennium, even Dale, who hoards food, Mountain Dew and hamsters in his basement. Only Hank is unaffected by the growing concerns...until there's a propane shortage.
- Hank discovers that Dale's long-lost father is a cowboy on the gay rodeo circuit.
- During a picnic, Bobby accidentally sees Luanne naked, and Joseph is jealous of him.
- Nancy ends her 14-year-long affair with John Redcorn.
- Deedee has become pregnant with Cotton's child.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.5 (330)TV EpisodeWhen Dale realizes that he did not have sex with Nancy anywhere near the time Joseph was conceived, he becomes convinced that a space alien is his son's real father.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.2 (299)TV EpisodeTed Wasanasong calls Khan a "banana" - a derogatory term for an Asian who is "yellow on the outside, white on the inside" - making him think he has lost touch with his Laotian heritage.
- Stressed by her new job as a newspaper columnist, Peggy seeks John Redcorn's help. Hank fears she's getting the same kind of "help" as Nancy, which leads to an eye-opening experience for Peggy.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.1 (310)TV EpisodeJohn Redcorn opens a gambling casino on his land.
- When Bobby mistakenly believes that his parents are rich, he steals Hank's credit card and goes on a shopping spree.
- Bobby begins picking up bad habits, including slapping women in the rear end, from his sexist war vet grandfather. Hank initially turns a blind eye, but soon finds himself frustrated and unsure of how to put a stop to the behavior.
- Hank is upset when Peggy refuses to reveal the details of a magic trick to him.
- Dale poses as The Smoking Bandit, a masked marauder who goes around to several Arlen businesses violating their anti-smoking regulations.
- During the Thanksgiving season, John Redcorn tries to get closer to Joseph by teaching him about the plight of the Native Americans.
- Peggy is upset when she learns Hank has been having dreams about grilling hamburgers in the nude with Nancy.
- When Dale convinces Bill that the government used him as a guinea pig for an experimental drug with disastrous results, Bill steals a tank from the army base.
- Bobby works for Mr. Strickland as his golf caddy for the summer. Peggy and Minh race each other to see who can donate the most blood.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.5 (314)TV EpisodeBobby and Joe Jack, while working at Strickland Propane, use unscrupulous tactics to win customers. Meanwhile, Bill floats all over Arlen after being tied to a lawn chair held up by balloons, and Peggy frets over liver medication.
- Bobby befriends a wild raccoon that may or may not have infected Ladybird and Dale with rabies.
- Hank takes Joseph on a vision quest in hopes of changing the boy's ways, but when Dale ends up experiencing a vision of his own, he misinterprets one of Joseph's dreams...and encourages him to kill a panda at the zoo.
- Peggy tries to spruce up the front yard by purchasing a lawn gnome, much to Hank's horror.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG6.9 (297)TV EpisodeHank's league champion softball team challenges an undefeated comedic barnstorming team.
- Hank is embarrassed when his new driver's license lists him as female. And after reviewing the Warren Commission Report, Dale turns pro-America.
- Hank accompanies Cotton and Bill to Mexico to keep them from buying into a timeshare; and Peggy, Dale, and Bobby sneak into swimming pools during a heat wave.
- When the station manager hires a new weatherman to replace Nancy after she blows an important forecast, Peggy convinces Nancy that covering a dangerous wildfire is the only way to win back her job.
- Khan bribes Bobby to stay away from Connie.
- After having a falling out with Reverend Stroup, Hank leaves Arlen First Methodist and joins a Mega-Church... only to be overwhelmed by its nonstop demands on his free time.
- Lucky, Luanne's good-for-nothing boyfriend, won't marry her until he passes his ged test; when he asks Peggy to tutor him, she schemes to end their relationship by teaching him all the wrong answers.
- After swearing off his favorite strip club, Strickland refashions the propane business using an ice-cream parlor as his inspiration; and Peggy uses her press credentials to obtain free things.
- Bobby participates in a "job shadow" program, where he's wowed by an entrepreneur who makes a living picking up after dogs.
- Strickland embarks on a propane price war, so he hires the Teutuls from "American Chopper" to spark sales at the Propane Expo. But the Teutuls only manage to start a riot.
- Hank's new neighbors' son won't stop harassing him, and his parents refuse to do anything about it. So he takes matters into his own hands, which gets him in trouble with the police.
- When Hank rejects Bobby's request for expensive designer jeans, Bobby takes his dad's advice and gets himself a really "cool" job; but begging on the street isn't exactly what Hank had in mind.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.2 (286)TV EpisodeStrickland partners with Kahn in a car wash business, forcing Hank to become Kahn's "work monkey."
- Bobby protests against commercialism at Tom Landry Middle School when he discovers that a cute girl is suddenly interested in him because of it.
- Bobby, Joseph, and Connie are harassed at a water park by a group of bullies, and only Boomhauer can save them. Meanwhile, Bill becomes a minor local celebrity after he starts waving at drivers from the side of the road.
- Bobby is selected to be a powder-puff cheerleader, but Peggy and the rest the PTA threaten to disband the group after the PTA president decides that it's sexist.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.8 (383)TV EpisodePeggy becomes friends with a local drag queen. But Peggy doesn't know that her friend's really a man, and her friend doesn't realize that Peggy's a real woman.
- Bill discovers that he and his cousin are the end of the Dautrieve family line, so he tries to find a way to preserve his family legacy.
- The Hills create a snake scare when a large python is released into the sewer system, and a couple of greedy city contractors try to take advantage of the situation.
- Hank's cousin, ZZ Top's Dusty Hill, comes to Arlen and makes Hank the butt of all his jokes for his new reality television program.
- Luanne goes to prom with a fifteen-year-old boy because she missed her own prom, and she wants to make Lucky pay attention to her.
- Peggy becomes a realtor. Hank gets a new set of golf clubs with a disturbing past.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.0 (289)TV EpisodeBill becomes involved with the female pastor at his church, much to the horror of Hank and his fellow parishioners.
- Hank becomes obsessed with a video game based on his own life. Bobby attempts to improve his physical condition.
- Peggy gets fooled into selling kitchen supplies. The real Rusty Shackleford confronts Dale.
- Dale believes that he has traveled back in time. Stress over a past relationship causes Nancy to suffer hair loss.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.6 (337)TV EpisodeBill unwisely allows some crazed muscle-bound male bodybuilders to use the neighborhood's exercise equipment if in exchange they help him get in shape.
- Lucky needs money to throw Luanne the extravagant wedding of her dreams. When he's injured in a fall from Dale's basement steps, a corrupt lawyer encourages Lucky to get litigious towards anybody with money who could possibly be blamed.
- Hank and the guys take Bobby to to a Texas/Nebraska college football game. During the game, they help themselves to an empty luxury suite, which puts them in a precarious situation at the end of the ball game.
- Cotton is dying, but both he and Hank are having trouble coming to terms with it--and each other.
- Hank joins a co-op store because the steaks they sell are the best in town. However, he is forced to take extreme measures to get organic steaks when Mega-Lo-Mart buys out the store.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG6.5 (292)TV EpisodeBobby is in charge of putting together a carnival at Tom Landry Middle School, but a school-appointed diversity counselor takes all of the fun out of it.
- Minh joins Dale's gun club to learn how to shoot skeet. Hank investigates who is putting their garbage in his garbage can.
- Hank reluctantly joins Dale on a "vocation vacation," where Dale will learn basket weaving. However, problems arise when Dale is completely incompetent and Hank becomes the teacher's pet.
- Ladybird begins acting erratically during thunderstorms, and Hank must resort to consulting a "dog spiritualist" or risk losing her to Animal Control.
- Hank helps Buck Strickland and Sugarfoot's find a way to get around the Arlen City Council's new ban on trans fats.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.7 (309)TV EpisodeDale discovers that the daughter of one of Bill's lady-friends shares the same DNA as Joseph. He comes to the conclusion that he is the father of both of them.
- Hank seeks revenge when he finds out that his car salesman has been taking advantage of him for 20 years, but he gets in trouble when his plan gets out of hand.
- While Hank helps out with Enrique's daughter's Quinceanera celebration, Peggy threatens to run Enrique's family out of its neighborhood by introducing it to the Arlen artistic community.
- Peggy makes drastic changes around the home after a pop family therapist has her convinced that their family is having intimacy problems, which only pushes Hank and Bobby further away from her.
- Kahn uses karaoke to boost his self confidence and to help cope with his domineering father-in-law's latest visit.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG6.8 (301)TV EpisodePeggy hires actors and writes a script to help her open house for a home she can't sell. But instead of selling the house in question, she gets carried away and winds up selling her own house during the dress rehearsal.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG6.6 (278)TV EpisodeA private academy bribes Dale into enrolling Joseph to play quarterback, but he soon learns that his family doesn't fit in because they're not rich.
- Hank accidentally drives a mild-mannered man over the edge when he takes the man's wallet from him, incorrectly assuming that the man had just stolen his.
- Bobby temporarily becomes man of the house and Hank becomes the laughing stock of the neighborhood when everybody discovers that he's afraid of bats.
- When Peggy's birthday celebrations promise to disappoint her once again, she decides to plan her own party aboard a train that features a murder-mystery play.
- Peggy's jailbird brother (Luanne's father) comes to town, and commits another crime; and Lucky feels sorry for him, so he takes the blame.
- Bill begins acting like a paraplegic after his doctor diagnoses him with diabetes and tells him to get a wheelchair.
- Buck is looking for an easy way for Strickland Propane to go "green," and Dale is ready to take advantage of him and the situation.
- Bobby plays his guilt-ridden parents against each other after they forget to pick him up at the mall, but the move backfires when Hank and Peggy adopt a new strategy. Meanwhile, Dale tries to prove he can survive in the "wilderness."
- Hank breaks his nose practicing for a state championship flag football rematch. But when he gets it fixed by a plastic surgeon, it's so perfect that he doesn't want to play in the game and risk ruining it.
- Peggy and Bobby try to impress a trendy mother and daughter that they meet in Bobby's cotillion class, while Hank finds a good new restaurant but hates the seating arrangements.
- Nancy gets a job as an anchor at a Dallas television station, but will Dale be able to survive in Arlen without her?
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.1 (287)TV EpisodeWhile Hank and the guys take their 4th of July rivalry with Milton Street to dangerous levels, Bobby finds religion at Lucky's church.
- 1997–201022mTV-PG7.4 (291)TV EpisodeHank finds out that he is executor of Cotton's will, which includes flushing his ashes down General Patton's toilet. Meanwhile, Dale and Bill go through a nasty "dudevorce."
- Hank is ostracized for his lack of positive support for Bobby in the South Arlen youth baseball league.
- Luanne, Peggy and John Redcorn try to establish Luanne's "Manger Babies" puppetry as a paid career. Meanwhile, Dale writes a self-published book, and Luanne steals it in desperation for new ideas.
- Everybody on Rainey Street is put off by the Canadian family that moves into Boomhauer's house for the summer.
- Ted Wassonasong buys a house in Hank's neighborhood, tears it down, and builds a cheaply-made "McMansion" in its place.
- Hank runs into trouble with a temperamental co-worker who is promoted to co-assistant manager after Strickland Propane puts up its own MySpace page.
- Tom Landry Middle School labels Bobby and some of his other lazy classmates as "special needs" students so that they don't have to take and fail the standardized test and lower the school's numbers.
- By observing Bill as an average consumer, Peggy, Dale, and Minh make a fortune in the stock market. But when Bill learns that he is being watched, the gravy train comes to an abrupt halt.
- Peggy volunteers as the Arlen Welcome Wagon lady, introducing Hank to a new friend, Wesley Cherish. The relationship sours after Wesley is revealed to be a helicopter parent who accuses Bobby of being a bad influence.