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1-39 of 39
- After Patsy accidentally sets the kitchen on fire, tensions rise between her and Saffron, which leads to a number of surprise revelations.
- On her 40th birthday, Edina must deal with her conflicted feelings about reaching the milestone age, and the grim family party Saffron has arranged for the occasion.
- Saffy is preparing for her home birth and Patsy is getting ready for an awards ceremony but Saffy's water breaks all over Patsy's expensive dress, which is further ruined when Mother tries to iron it, thus allowing Katy Grin to gleefully take Patsy's place at the ceremony. When John accidentally causes a power cut Bo and Marshall seize their chance to steal the new-born baby as part of their Christian Adoption scheme to sell children to film stars who don't want to be seen pregnant. However in the confusion they leave with the placenta and Eddy is the proud grand-mother of baby Jane (or Lola, as she would prefer to name her.)
- Saffy is visited by an ante-natal midwife who takes a dislike to Eddy, causing her to have nightmares in which the baby - who resembles the midwife - is trying to stab her. Patsy's contribution to the pregnancy is to give Saffy advice on abortions. The elegant 'Plum' arrives for the women's book club but the main topic tends to be celebrity gossip magazines and little is accomplished. However when John, the baby's father, arrives and Eddy sees that he is a black student Saffy met in Africa and is now living in London, she is overjoyed at the notion of being the grandmother to a mixed raced baby.
- Whilst Saffy is away in Africa doing voluntary work, Eddy has obtained a posh new bathroom but the rest of the house is a mess. Ex-Spice Girl Emma Bunton, one of Eddy's new clients, comes to visit. She was at school with Saffy and knows she hates untidiness so urges Eddy and Patsy to clean the house, which they do - after a fashion. When Saffy arrives home Eddy thinks she has put on weight but in fact she is pregnant.
- Patsy is angry when Eddy refuses to go away with her for Christmas, preferring to stay at home with the family and ordering a tree so large Patsy gets her hair caught in it. Patsy collapses - due to an unseen hand sticking a pin in an effigy of her - and is rushed to hospital, where at least she can spend Christmas on drugs. Eddy welcomes both her ex-husbands, Justin being quizzed on his sexuality by John and Bo and Marshall promoting their slimming product, and a family Christmas is indeed the order of the day - until the hospital informs Eddy that 'Miss Stone has died'. Thus we discover the identity of her ill-wisher, though Patsy herself recovers, only to choke on a piece of turkey back at Eddy's house.
- When Edina's father passes away, Saffron is horrified by her mother's lack of grief, which soon manifests itself in a realisation of her own mortality.
- Eddy is worrying about her weight again, seeing herself as the 'donkey' of her social circle, a fact that her bitchy friends endorse, so she goes on a punishing diet-and-exercise regimen which Saffy and Patsy oppose for different reasons. She even dreams that God and the Devil offer their own comments. Although she feels she has shed the pounds, she's still seen as the donkey. Saffy is encouraged to write a play by Taylor, an actor friend seeking to revive his career.
- After Mother gets banned from the house following the mess when she brought her friends over for a 'Cocoon' spa day in the bathroom, Saffy is without a babysitter whilst she spends the day with John and reluctantly acquiesces when Eddy tells her she wants to be a responsible grandparent and mind Jane (or even Lola) for her. She and Patsy take the baby for a photo shoot at the zoo and almost end up swapping her for a baby chimp. However after a session in the baby-changing toilet Eddy happily brings home her charge - only to discover that it is someone else's child.
- PR consultant Edina Monsoon wakes up with yet another hangover, but receives no sympathy from her studious daughter, Saffron. When best friend Patsy turns up, the fun continues, until a crisis at work forces Edina into action.
- After waking to find she has gained weight, Edina becomes obsessed with dieting, which is only exacerbated when she finds out an old, ever thin, nemesis intends to pay her a visit.
- With Saffron having moved out of the family home to attend university, Edina feels lonely, which is only exacerbated when Patsy drops a bombshell.
- When Saffy hires a handsome young man to do the Monsoons' garden, Patsy recognizes him as Jago Balfour, younger brother of a friend of hers who died of a drug overdose ,leaving Jago the family mansion and its grounds. Gold- digging Eddy wastes no time in trying to seduce Jago, only to learn that he had to get rid of his estates to pay the death duties and sold them to rocker Roger Daltrey to turn into a fish farm.
- In an attempt to escape from it all, Edina and Patsy take a trip to the south of France, which inevitably turns disastrous.
- Bo and Marshall, now running a Christian television station, inadvertently reveal that Eddy's long-lost son Serge is gay and living in New York. Patsy's heading there for Fashion Week, so Eddy goes with her to the Big Apple. After a visit to GUFF, a gay drop-in center, they locate Serge but must pretend to be Lesbians celebrating a civil wedding for their information. Eddy is disappointed to find that, like Saffy, Serge is a shy, bookish type, but she hits it off with his extrovert boyfriend Martin. The quartet 'do' Fashion Week and visit a bar, which Patsy burns down after dancing on the counter. Returning to London after their arrest for that incident, Eddy makes up with Saffy but reveals that she has disowned Serge and adopted Martin.
- Edina finds her New Year's Eve plans ruined by the sudden arrival of Patsy's acid-tongued sister, Jackie.
- When an indiscretion with a married MP leads to unwanted press attention, Patsy books into hospital for a face lift, while Edina is admitted for a foot operation.
- 1992–201229mTV-147.9 (251)TV EpisodeFollowing a promotion for Prince Charles' biscuits Eddy becomes obsessed with the high life and pays thirty thousand pounds for a weekend at a country house for herself and Patsy, though they soon get bored as there is nothing glamorous to do. They decide to go shooting and bag a pheasant but it is still alive and Eddy does not have the heart to kill it so she releases it in Hyde Park. Meanwhile, Saffy's college friend Sarah becomes obsessed with Emma Bunton at Saffy's baby shower, and must be restrained from stalking her.
- Banned from attending Saffron's college open day, Edina tries to get her own back by threatening to adopt a Romanian baby, a scheme which totally backfires.
- After losing an award at a PR event, Edina fights to regain her standing in the industry, particularly in order to best her rival, Claudia Bing.
- While making one of her sporadic appearances at work, Patsy is roped into appearing on television in a makeover segment, and is forced to turn to Saffron for help.
- Bubble accidentally sends most of Eddy's clients' details to rival Claudia Bing, who poaches them - including Twiggy, who is annoyed because Mother has been stalking her, confusing her with Madonna. Eddy sacks Bubble, but ends up back in business because of Katy Grin's unlikely intervention. Meanwhile, Saffy encourages Eddy to attend Menopausal Anonymous with Patsy, who has been diagnosed with osteoporosis. Eddy is rude and disruptive, of course. After the meeting, Saffy has a weird dream in which Patsy announces that she is pregnant from Mick Jagger's sperm, which she bought at an auction.
- Edina and Patsy travel to Marrakech for work, and reluctantly agree to Saffron accompanying them as part of her university project.
- The pressure of Edina's preparations to host two old friends leads to a falling-out with Patsy.
- Eddy has installed a panic room in the house in case of burglars but she panics herself when Patsy brings home a demanding Minnie Driver whom she is hoping to dress in a collection of designer clothes and become her stylist. After Patsy wrestles Eddy for a necklace Minnie wants they fall into the panic room and manage to get themselves locked in whilst Minnie makes off with the clothes. After playing Trivial Pursuit with Saffy through the video camera they get out and are surprised to learn they have only been shut in for a short while and not for days.
- Eddy is to appear on the Richard and Judy morning chat show and Patsy has just the thing to get rid of her wrinkles: Paralox, a do-it-yourself Botox treatment, While Eddy is asleep, Patsy injects her face, overdoing it so that the next morning Eddy is paralyzed above the neck and must watch Katy Grin, Bubble's smug cousin, being interviewed instead. This is also bad news for Saffy, who nearly gets a job working for New Labour until the interviewer decides that she should stay home to look after her "invalid" mother.
- Patsy gets the chance to relive her days as a model on a photo shoot in Paris with top model Erin O'Connor. Eddy comes along for a mother/daughter daughter fashion spread, but fails to persuade any glamorous young actress to play her daughter, so she drags Saffy into it. Patsy gets edged out of the picture by younger models and a glamorous photographer, and Eddy goads Saffy to do something totally out-of-character atop the Eiffel Tower.
- Saffron asks Edina's accountant to emphasize the risks of Edina's constant overspending, but Edina and Patsy find it difficult to adjust to a more frugal lifestyle.
- Eddy is dating Pete,who was a recording engineer at Abbey Road and has some previously unreleased tapes of the Beatles. Eddy gives a party to showcase them - insulting Elton John at the same time - but the result is a disappointment since Patsy accidentally pressed the recording button whilst in the studio so that the Beatles' tracks have been completely wiped and instead all that can be heard is Eddy singing along to them,recorded over them.
- After encouraging Edina to explore her sexuality, Patsy is horrified to discover that a compromising video from the pair's youth has been accidentally switched with Saffron's university science video.
- Encouraged by Taylor, Saffy finishes writing her play, 'Self-Raising Flower', about her oppressive life with Eddy and Patsy, who don't share the rest of the family's enthusiasm to attend the opening night. Indeed, Eddy unsuccessfully tries to get it banned. But she and Patsy cannot resist slipping in at the last minute. The play, in which Patsy is portrayed by a man, is a roaring success, but only because people think it's a comedy. Eddy and Patsy become celebrities, and Saffy gains an admirer: Kasha, the actress who is portraying her.
- Apart for the first time in years, Edina and Patsy find it difficult to adjust to their new lives.
- While Paolo, Saffy's short, self-centred boyfriend, proposes to her, Eddy and Patsy go on a skiing holiday. There they end up in a fight over the lack of glamorous facilities, celebrity guests, and their constant dependency on each other - even in a past life they were conjoined twins in a circus. Eddy later goes skiing and has a near death experience where God appears to her and tells her that it is not yet her time. Meanwhile Mother goes to the airport with a sign to welcome her visiting friends - 'It's Me, Dears' - but in her confusion gets mistaken for a terrorist and is rescued by Bo in a burkha.
- Eddy wants to redecorate. She calls on interior designers Bettina and Max, for advice.
- Edina agrees to have the kitchen redecorated in order to placate Saffron, but the plans are derailed when Edina and Patsy take a massive detour during a shopping trip.
- Mother's very hip friends turn up and stay in a camper van in the street but extract electricity from the house. Eddy is unusually supportive of Saffy as the wedding nears, largely because Paolo's parents are extremely wealthy. When his mother, Kalishia, turns her nose up at Saffy as not being good enough for her son, Patsy changes her mind by reminding her that they were once co-stars in a porn film. Later, just as the bride and groom are about to exchange vows Eddy has another vision of God, who indicates that the marriage should not take place, so she interrupts the ceremony, ending the wedding. After Paolo goes off with the bridesmaid, Eddy and Patsy console Saffy, then use her honeymoon trip airline tickets for their own holiday.
- Fresh out of prison after serving two years for (innocently) providing asylum seekers with false passports Saffy is unusually garlanded as a heroine by Patsy. Until Saffy brings her cell-mate Baron to stay and it turns out that Baron is Patsy's old drug dealer, to whom she owes £50,000 and Baron will not leave until she gets it. Fortunately there is a way out, though it means that Patsy will have to face up to being a pensioner and not thirty-nine, as she has claimed for so long.
- After Saffy berates her for being lazy and useless, Eddy decides to impress her daughter by representing her favourite French film star, screen legend Jeanne Durand, and booking the Albert Hall for her to give a concert. Unfortunately Jeanne either cannot or will not sing and Bubble must save the day. Mother/daughter harmony is restored even if the future looks bleak for Jeanne's Carnegie Hall debut.
- Returning from Africa, where she spends half the year with her husband and daughter, Saffy finds that Edina has let the house to film star Michael Douglas for the Olympic Games but has forgotten when they start. Eddy and Patsy - who now needs incontinence pants - doll themselves up for their guest but instead find themselves hosting Marshall,to whom Michael gave his tickets when they met at a sex addiction group,and Bo. However when Marshall drops his tickets for the pre-Olympic party they use them to gate-crash,their gaucherie inevitably getting them thrown out,though they do get to use the stadium. Back home they settle down to watch the games on television with Bubble,Saffy and Mother - who knows something the rest of them do not.