- In this very ring.
- I got balls the size of grapefruits!
- You've got no chance. No chance in hell.
- Stone Cold [Steve Austin] doesn't have the the testicular fortitude to turn up here tonight.
- Do not cross the boss!
- [responding to Paul Wight, aka "The Big Show", who asked him what he thinks the name of his tag team with Monty Sopp, aka "Billy Gunn", should be] I don't care if you call yourself double-trouble crap on a stick.
- [trying to get the "old" Steve Austin back for Invasion 2001] G Give me a Stunner, damn it! Come back, Austin! Give me a Stunner!
- [about Ted Turner's World Championship Wrestling (WCW) organization, the WWE's main competitor] After he bought WCW, Ted Turner called me and said, "Guess what, Vince, I'm in the 'rasslin' business!" and I said, "That's nice, Ted, I'm in the sports entertainment business".
- This time if Bob Costas gets in my way, I'm going to forget that he is 4-feet-10 and 120 pounds. I'm just going to consider that he's Hulk Hogan, and when he gets in my face this time, in all likelihood, I will beat the living hell out of him.
- I believe in the laws of nature. When it's time for me to go, I would like to be devoured by the biggest, baddest carnivore that ever walked the face of the earth. And then, I'd like that son of a ***** to get indigestion and vomit my remains back up.
- [about his wife, Linda McMahon] But one day she asked me, point-blank, "Are you having an affair with so-and-so?" And I never lied to her: "Yes". It crushed her. Then she asked, "What about such-and-such?" "Yes". It went on. More names. I said, "Yes, yes and yes".
- You're fired!!!
- [at the end of each match, as a commentator] Fuhgeddaboutit!
- What I learned from the XFL experience is to be smarter the next time I take on the NFL.
- I don't think anybody could have beaten André René Roussimoff in his prime. He was just so quick, notwithstanding his unbelievable size, strength and intellect.
- The worst sound in our business is silence. That means they don't care.
- Giving it to the audience is probably the easiest thing. Finding out what they truly want is probably the most difficult.
- [When announcing a main event match]In this very ring.
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