Having held his own masterfully opposite Jean-Claude Van Damme in 1997's "Double Team", thespian rebounder Dennis Rodman has above-the-title billing all to himself in "Simon Sez", a martial arts action-comedy that's as bad as it wants to be.
While Rodman ponders his next career move, this endlessly irritating, flat-footed clunker will do his resume no favors. To be fair, the filmmakers have seen fit to surround him with so many shrill, over-the-top characters and performances that he comes across as practically demure by comparison.
Simon sez, "Go swiftly to video".
Rodman is the Simon in question, a tough-guy operative with a yellow motorcycle who gets roped into a purported kidnapping case by a bumbling private investigator Nick (Dane Cook), a classmate of Simon During's their Interpol days.
It turns out the hostage in question (Natalia Cigliuti) not only is unaware of having been kidnapped, but she has no desire to return to her wealthy American executive father, preferring to remain with her French boyfriend (Filip Nicolic).
But the boyfriend's father (Henri Courseaux) happens to be a bagman for a diabolical arms dealer (Jerome Pradon) eager to get his hands on a valuable piece of computer software that falls into Simon's hands. Thus, the shenanigans ensue.
Under the novice direction of writer-producer Kevin Elders (the "Iron Eagle" movies), the picture doesn't lack energy, and some of the fight sequences are well-choreographed.
On the other hand, the plot-deprived, shtick-heavy script, credited to former actors Andrew Miller and Andrew Lowery, keeps rearing its ugly head.
As for Rodman, despite there being enough metal hooked into his face to fill a tackle box, his performance remains surprisingly wooden given his colorful on- and off-court persona.
It's still preferable to the intended comic-relief turns of his improvising cast mates. As his hyper partner in crime-fighting, muggy comedian Cook makes for the most annoying sidekick since Jar Jar Binks. And John Pinette and Ricky Harris quickly overstay their welcome as undercover, high-tech monks who make like a third-rate Abbott and Costello.
SIMON SEZ
Independent Artists
A Signature Films production
Director: Kevin Elders
Screenwriters: Andrew Miller & Andrew Lowery
Story: Moshe Diamant & Rudy Cohen
Producers: Moshe Diamant, Ringo Lam
Executive producers: Rudy Cohen, Dan Frisch, Kevin Jones
Director of photography: Avraham Karpick
Production designer: Damien Lanfranchi
Editor: Alain Jakubowicz
Music: Brian Tyler
Color/stereo
Cast:
Simon: Dennis Rodman
Nick: Dane Cook
Claire: Natalia Cigliuti
Michael: Filip Nicolic
Macro: John Pinette
Ashton: Jerome Pradon
Micro: Ricky Harris
Bernard: Henri Courseaux
The Dancer: Emma Sjoberg
Running time -- 90 minutes
MPAA rating: PG-13...
While Rodman ponders his next career move, this endlessly irritating, flat-footed clunker will do his resume no favors. To be fair, the filmmakers have seen fit to surround him with so many shrill, over-the-top characters and performances that he comes across as practically demure by comparison.
Simon sez, "Go swiftly to video".
Rodman is the Simon in question, a tough-guy operative with a yellow motorcycle who gets roped into a purported kidnapping case by a bumbling private investigator Nick (Dane Cook), a classmate of Simon During's their Interpol days.
It turns out the hostage in question (Natalia Cigliuti) not only is unaware of having been kidnapped, but she has no desire to return to her wealthy American executive father, preferring to remain with her French boyfriend (Filip Nicolic).
But the boyfriend's father (Henri Courseaux) happens to be a bagman for a diabolical arms dealer (Jerome Pradon) eager to get his hands on a valuable piece of computer software that falls into Simon's hands. Thus, the shenanigans ensue.
Under the novice direction of writer-producer Kevin Elders (the "Iron Eagle" movies), the picture doesn't lack energy, and some of the fight sequences are well-choreographed.
On the other hand, the plot-deprived, shtick-heavy script, credited to former actors Andrew Miller and Andrew Lowery, keeps rearing its ugly head.
As for Rodman, despite there being enough metal hooked into his face to fill a tackle box, his performance remains surprisingly wooden given his colorful on- and off-court persona.
It's still preferable to the intended comic-relief turns of his improvising cast mates. As his hyper partner in crime-fighting, muggy comedian Cook makes for the most annoying sidekick since Jar Jar Binks. And John Pinette and Ricky Harris quickly overstay their welcome as undercover, high-tech monks who make like a third-rate Abbott and Costello.
SIMON SEZ
Independent Artists
A Signature Films production
Director: Kevin Elders
Screenwriters: Andrew Miller & Andrew Lowery
Story: Moshe Diamant & Rudy Cohen
Producers: Moshe Diamant, Ringo Lam
Executive producers: Rudy Cohen, Dan Frisch, Kevin Jones
Director of photography: Avraham Karpick
Production designer: Damien Lanfranchi
Editor: Alain Jakubowicz
Music: Brian Tyler
Color/stereo
Cast:
Simon: Dennis Rodman
Nick: Dane Cook
Claire: Natalia Cigliuti
Michael: Filip Nicolic
Macro: John Pinette
Ashton: Jerome Pradon
Micro: Ricky Harris
Bernard: Henri Courseaux
The Dancer: Emma Sjoberg
Running time -- 90 minutes
MPAA rating: PG-13...
- 9/27/1999
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
Suggested by -- as opposed to based on -- "A Prayer for Owen Meany", Mark Steven Johnson's "Simon Birch" is a sincere if somewhat treacly rendering of the John Irving novel.
In condensing the material, Johnson has smoothed over most of the quirky Irving edges, leaving precious little to keep the sentimental element in check.
But while heartstrings get yanked with regularity, Johnson's assured first-feature direction and uniformly strong cast make it palatable. Good word-of-mouth could help overcome the lack of big names (unless you count Jim Carrey's straight narration and bookend screen appearances) and give little "Simon" a modest boxoffice boost.
Impressive 3-foot-1, 11-year-old newcomer Ian Michael Smith plays the colorful title character -- the smallest child born at fictional Gravestown Memorial Hospital -- who grew up, in a manner of speaking, to become an outspoken troublemaker with an old soul and a funny voice.
Basically ignored by his parents, Simon usually hangs around his best friend Joe Joseph Mazzello), born out of wedlock to a pretty, perky mother (Ashley Judd) and an unknown father.
But the boys' more or less idyllic childhood receives a rude awakening when a towering foul ball hit by Simon During an afternoon baseball game meets with tragic results and the secret identity of Joe's dad becomes a pressing concern.
Meanwhile, Simon, who has always believed himself an instrument of God, is given an opportunity to put destiny to the test when a wayward busload of school children (shades of "The Sweet Hereafter") plunges into icy waters.
In addition to Smith's casting-agent's-dream of a performance, the picture benefits greatly from Mazzello's strong, sensitive turn, while the always-effective Judd is cast perfectly as Joe's dream of a mom. Providing sturdy support are Oliver Platt as Judd's kindly beau, David Strathairn as a stiff reverend who manages to let Simon's theological outbursts get under his skin, Dana Ivey as Joe's stern grandmother and Jan Hooks as a frazzled, chain-smoking Sunday school teacher.
Carrey -- obviously recruited to lend the little film some "Truman Show"-sized significance -- appears only briefly at the beginning and end while biding time in between providing sporadic, largely unnecessary narration.
While the script is not without charm and humor, there is an inescapable episodic feel to the period piece, no doubt a result of trying to cut the Irving book to a feature-length serving.
But it all certainly looks great. The extensive Canadian backdrops are basked in warm golden hues thanks to cinematographer Aaron E. Schneider, who neatly captures the story's fable-like aspects. David Chapman's small-town '60s production design and the costumes credited to Betsy Heimann and Abram Waterhouse are also right on the money, while Marc Shaiman's score sounds appropriately wide-eyed.
In a final bid to lure the "Phenomenon" crowd, Babyface wrote and performs the pining end-title track, "You Were There". Guess Eric Clapton was busy.
SIMON BIRCH
Buena Vista Pictures Distribution
Buena Vista/Hollywood Pictures presents in association with Caravan Pictures
a Roger Birnbaum and Laurence Mark production
A Mark Steven Johnson film
Director-screenwriter: Mark Steven Johnson
Suggested by the novel "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by: John Irving
Producers: Laurence Mark and Roger Birnbaum
Executive producer: John Baldecchi
Director of photography: Aaron E. Schneider
Production designer: David Chapman
Editor: David Finfer
Costume designers: Betsy Heimann,
Abram Waterhouse
Music: Marc Shaiman
Casting: Mary Gail Artz and Barbara Cohen
Color/stereo
Cast:
Simon Birch: Ian Michael Smith
Joe Wenteworth: Joseph Mazzello
Rebecca Wenteworth: Ashley Judd
Ben Goodrich: Oliver Platt
Rev. Russell: David Strathairn
Miss Leavey: Jan Hooks
Grandmother Wenteworth: Dana Ivey
Hildie Grove: Beatrice Winde
Running time -- 110 minutes
MPAA rating: PG...
In condensing the material, Johnson has smoothed over most of the quirky Irving edges, leaving precious little to keep the sentimental element in check.
But while heartstrings get yanked with regularity, Johnson's assured first-feature direction and uniformly strong cast make it palatable. Good word-of-mouth could help overcome the lack of big names (unless you count Jim Carrey's straight narration and bookend screen appearances) and give little "Simon" a modest boxoffice boost.
Impressive 3-foot-1, 11-year-old newcomer Ian Michael Smith plays the colorful title character -- the smallest child born at fictional Gravestown Memorial Hospital -- who grew up, in a manner of speaking, to become an outspoken troublemaker with an old soul and a funny voice.
Basically ignored by his parents, Simon usually hangs around his best friend Joe Joseph Mazzello), born out of wedlock to a pretty, perky mother (Ashley Judd) and an unknown father.
But the boys' more or less idyllic childhood receives a rude awakening when a towering foul ball hit by Simon During an afternoon baseball game meets with tragic results and the secret identity of Joe's dad becomes a pressing concern.
Meanwhile, Simon, who has always believed himself an instrument of God, is given an opportunity to put destiny to the test when a wayward busload of school children (shades of "The Sweet Hereafter") plunges into icy waters.
In addition to Smith's casting-agent's-dream of a performance, the picture benefits greatly from Mazzello's strong, sensitive turn, while the always-effective Judd is cast perfectly as Joe's dream of a mom. Providing sturdy support are Oliver Platt as Judd's kindly beau, David Strathairn as a stiff reverend who manages to let Simon's theological outbursts get under his skin, Dana Ivey as Joe's stern grandmother and Jan Hooks as a frazzled, chain-smoking Sunday school teacher.
Carrey -- obviously recruited to lend the little film some "Truman Show"-sized significance -- appears only briefly at the beginning and end while biding time in between providing sporadic, largely unnecessary narration.
While the script is not without charm and humor, there is an inescapable episodic feel to the period piece, no doubt a result of trying to cut the Irving book to a feature-length serving.
But it all certainly looks great. The extensive Canadian backdrops are basked in warm golden hues thanks to cinematographer Aaron E. Schneider, who neatly captures the story's fable-like aspects. David Chapman's small-town '60s production design and the costumes credited to Betsy Heimann and Abram Waterhouse are also right on the money, while Marc Shaiman's score sounds appropriately wide-eyed.
In a final bid to lure the "Phenomenon" crowd, Babyface wrote and performs the pining end-title track, "You Were There". Guess Eric Clapton was busy.
SIMON BIRCH
Buena Vista Pictures Distribution
Buena Vista/Hollywood Pictures presents in association with Caravan Pictures
a Roger Birnbaum and Laurence Mark production
A Mark Steven Johnson film
Director-screenwriter: Mark Steven Johnson
Suggested by the novel "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by: John Irving
Producers: Laurence Mark and Roger Birnbaum
Executive producer: John Baldecchi
Director of photography: Aaron E. Schneider
Production designer: David Chapman
Editor: David Finfer
Costume designers: Betsy Heimann,
Abram Waterhouse
Music: Marc Shaiman
Casting: Mary Gail Artz and Barbara Cohen
Color/stereo
Cast:
Simon Birch: Ian Michael Smith
Joe Wenteworth: Joseph Mazzello
Rebecca Wenteworth: Ashley Judd
Ben Goodrich: Oliver Platt
Rev. Russell: David Strathairn
Miss Leavey: Jan Hooks
Grandmother Wenteworth: Dana Ivey
Hildie Grove: Beatrice Winde
Running time -- 110 minutes
MPAA rating: PG...
- 8/31/1998
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
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