The Quest for the Most Gratuitous Shower Scene
Scenes (films might have multiple shower scenes) are ranked using a set of 46 criteria. Final scores are NOT a ranking of how “good” or “bad” a shower scene is. The score is for how GRATUITOUS it is. Lower numbers (negatives are possible, at least for the current scale) are LESS gratuitous. Higher numbers are MORE gratuitous. [Scoring system is currently being fine-tuned, so all scores are subject to change.]
Current Top Spot: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Current Top Spot: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
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- DirectorKevin TenneyStarsCandace McKenzieLewis Van BergenIvan GueronA suburban defense lawyer mistakenly gives her troubled daughter, Zoe, a wooden puppet belonging to a deceased serial killer. The toy fills the void of friendship in Zoe's life, but Zoe begins to act increasingly strange and violent.Score: +10.5. Candace McKenzie.
- DirectorVíctor GarciaStarsNick StahlEmmanuelle VaugierEvan JonesWhen Max, who is recovering from a traumatic accident, takes a job as a nighttime security guard, he begins to see visions of a young mysterious woman in the store's mirror.Score (Christy Carlson Romano): +9.0
Score (Nick Stahl): -4.6 - DirectorSteve LatshawStarsLinnea QuigleyMaddisen K. KrownGary DolesA long long time ago a wizard was put to death, but he swore vengeance on the townsfolk that did him in, particularly Arthur Kelly's family. Arthur had done the final graces on him when he came back to life as Mr. Jack the Pumpkin Man. The Kellys proliferated through the years, and when some devil-may-care teens accidentally unleash Jack-O, young Sean Kelly must stop him somehow as his suburban world is accosted and the attrition rate climbs.Score: +16.9. Linnea Quigley.
- DirectorJim WynorskiStarsGail ThackrayMelissa MooreStacia ZhivagoFive college women buy the old Hokstedter place for their new sorority house. They decide to stay in it for the night to meet the movers in the morning, but begin to get the creeps when the weird neighbor starts poking around.Score: +12.0. Stacie Zhivago & Melissa Moore.
- DirectorArthur HillerStarsRichard PryorGene WilderJoan SeveranceDave is deaf, and Wally is blind. They witness a murder, but it was Dave who was looking at her, and Wally who was listening.Score: +2.5. Joan Severance.
- DirectorAlvin RakoffStarsGeorge KennedyRichard CrennaNick MancusoA mysterious ghostly freighter rams and sinks a modern day cruise ship whose survivors climb aboard the freighter and discover that it is a World War II Nazi torture vessel.
- DirectorDavid DeCoteauStarsLinnea QuigleyKen AbrahamMichael ArandaA group of survivors try to avoid the battles of World War III. When they try to escape to the quiet lands, they encounter something much more deadly.Score: +10.2. Linnea Quigley & friend.
- DirectorJohn McNaughtonStarsKevin BaconNeve CampbellMatt DillonA police detective uncovers a conspiracy behind a case involving a high-school guidance counselor when accusations of rape are made against him by two female students.Score: -3.4. Kevin Bacon.
- DirectorLuis LlosaStarsSylvester StalloneSharon StoneJames WoodsA woman entices a bomb expert she's involved with into destroying the mafia that killed her family.Score: +13.0. Sharon Stone & Sylvester Stallone.
Special Award: Longest duration shower scene - DirectorTony MaylamStarsRutger HauerKim CattrallAlastair DuncanIn a flooded future London, Detective Harley Stone hunts a serial killer who murdered his partner, and has haunted him ever since. He soon discovers what he is hunting might not be human.Score: -4.6. Kim Cattrall.
- DirectorDavid Oliver PfeilStarsDaniel RoebuckCynthia ThompsonDarren YoungThanks to a strange crystal, a shy student finds himself in the Stone Age, where he falls in love with a beautiful cave woman and helps her clan stave off a tribe of cannibals.Honorable Mention Score: +12.1.
Michelle Bauer et al.
Not an actual shower scene. Takes place in a locker room showers, but there is no showering shown. - DirectorKevin TenneyStarsJames W. QuinnKathleen BaileyJudy TatumParapsychologists try to make an inn haunted by an evil witch's ghost safe for guests.Score: -0.5. Linnea Quigley.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsHarrison FordRutger HauerSean YoungA blade runner must pursue and terminate four replicants who stole a ship in space and have returned to Earth to find their creator.
- DirectorTi WestStarsMia GothJenna OrtegaBrittany SnowIn 1979, a group of young filmmakers set out to make an adult film in rural Texas, but when their reclusive, elderly hosts catch them in the act, the crew find themselves fighting for their lives.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsChevy ChaseBeverly D'AngeloImogene CocaThe Griswold family's cross-country drive to the Walley World theme park proves to be much more arduous than they ever anticipated.
- DirectorPaul BrickmanStarsTom CruiseRebecca De MornayJoe PantolianoA Chicago teenager is looking for fun at home while his parents are away, but the situation quickly gets out of hand.Score: +12.2. Francine Locke.
- DirectorSteve MinerStarsDana KimmellTracie SavageRichard BrookerJason Voorhees stalks a group of friends who have just arrived to spend the weekend at a cabin near Crystal Lake.
- DirectorPhillip NoyceStarsSharon StoneWilliam BaldwinTom BerengerA woman moves into an exclusive New York City apartment building that she soon discovers houses tenants with all manner of shocking secrets.
- DirectorDon ManciniStarsJennifer TillyBrad DourifJohn WatersChucky and Tiffany are resurrected by their innocent gender-confused child, Glen/Glenda, and hit Hollywood, where a movie depicting the killer dolls' murder spree is underway.Score: +5.3. Stephanie Chambers.
- DirectorJoseph RubenStarsTerry O'QuinnJill SchoelenShelley HackAfter murdering his entire family, a man marries a widow with a teenage daughter in another town and prepares to do it all over again.
- DirectorDavid DeCoteauStarsLinnea QuigleyBrinke StevensMichelle BauerThree geeky college girls who can't get a date, organize a seance and become sex starved vamps.Honorable Mention Score: +20.6
Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens & Michelle Bauer
Not an actual shower scene. A bathtub scene. There’s presumably a shower head up there somewhere. - DirectorRobert HarmonStarsJean-Claude Van DammeRosanna ArquetteKieran CulkinSam, an escaped convict, lands up on a farmland owned by a widow. When he learns that a ruthless contractor is trying to take over her land, he helps her to fight against the injustice.
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsOlivier GrunerTim ThomersonCary-Hiroyuki TagawaAlex, a burned out LA cyborg cop, is forced by commissioner Farnsworth to find his former cyborg partner and lover Jared who's about to deliver sensitive data to cyborg terrorists who wish to wage war against humans. Is he being played?
- DirectorMichael FischaStarsWilliam BumillerBrenda BakkeMerritt ButrickGruesome deaths begin to occur at a hip Los Angeles health club.
- DirectorMatt Bettinelli-OlpinTyler GillettStarsNeve CampbellCourteney CoxDavid Arquette25 years after a streak of brutal murders shocked the quiet town of Woodsboro, Calif., a new killer dons the Ghostface mask and begins targeting a group of teenagers to resurrect secrets from the town's deadly past.