The worst movies in the whole world
My girlfriend has the worst taste in movies. Here's some of the crapfest that she's subjected me to. I think she enjoys torturing me.
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- DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJason MomoaRon PerlmanRose McGowanA vengeful barbarian warrior sets off to get his revenge on the evil warlord who attacked his village and murdered his father when he was a boy.This film makes me want to suck out my own eyeballs with a vacuum cleaner.
- DirectorNeil JordanStarsJodie FosterTerrence HowardNaveen AndrewsStruggling to recover emotionally from a brutal assault that killed her fiancé and left her in a coma, a radio personality begins a quest for vengeance against the perpetrators that leaves a bloody trail across New York City.Jodie Foster must have lost all of her money on a bet and took this film role to cover her losses. There's no other logical explanation for her being in this massive pile of dog plop.
- DirectorSean PennStarsJack NicholsonBenicio Del ToroPatricia ClarksonA retiring police detective pledges to catch the killer of a young child.This film starts off badly, trails off a little in the middle and the less said about the ending, the better. It's torture for the eyeballs. I 'pledge' never to watch it again.
- DirectorDennis IliadisStarsGarret DillahuntMonica PotterTony GoldwynAfter kidnapping and brutally assaulting two young women, a gang unknowingly finds refuge at a vacation home belonging to the parents of one of the victims: a mother and father who devise an increasingly gruesome series of revenge tactics.This film wishes that it was 'I spit on your grave'. I spit on this film.
- DirectorJames DeMonacoStarsEthan HawkeLena HeadeyMax BurkholderA wealthy family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legal.This film has a good premise and is a brilliant idea. They did everything wrong though, it's pointless and has no story. The word sh*tfest springs to mind.
- DirectorJohn SingletonStarsTaylor LautnerLily CollinsAlfred MolinaA young man sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.I can't remember what this film is about. I'd forgotten it by the time the end credits rolled. I do remember that I hate it more than I hate doing overtime at work and I REALLY HATE doing overtime at work.
- DirectorLee TamahoriStarsAnthony HopkinsAlec BaldwinElle MacphersonAn intellectual billionaire and two other men struggle to band together and survive after getting stranded in the Alaskan wilderness with a blood-thirsty Kodiak Bear hunting them down.Imagine being in a plane crash and then spending what seems like eternity in a vast wilderness of nothingness....This is exactly how I felt whilst watching this film. If you look up boring in the dictionary, a picture of the dvd cover for 'the edge' should greet you. This film could be used as a clever device to aid those that find it difficult to fall asleep at night. Just put this film on and you'll be in nod nod land in no time.