Putrid Dogs and Pass
This is a list of films rated less than 4/10. They are rotten stories, boring dialog, totally unbelievable drivel or whiny. Labeled as comedy or romance but really nothing to laugh at. Unfortunately, I managed to sit through them, except 2 or 3. Also contains films I passed on because they appeared to be a pile of dog crap, with actors that usually disappoint.
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30 titles
- DirectorTerrence MalickStarsChristian BaleCate BlanchettNatalie PortmanA writer indulging in all that Los Angeles and Las Vegas have to offer, undertakes a search for love and self via a series of adventures with six different women.Rated 1 of 10 - a mess of stills shots with quality actors. A silent film that expects you to understand/empathize based on facial expressions.
- DirectorLorene ScafariaStarsSusan SarandonRose ByrneJ.K. SimmonsAn aging widow from New York City follows her daughter to Los Angeles in hopes of starting a new life after her husband passes away.Rated 2 of 10 - The sound track helped. The mother was an over bearing idiot. The daughter was no one to like, especially her script about herself and mom. If you want to escape, why write a TV show about it? Embedded product marketing as well
- DirectorBrett HaleyStarsBlythe DannerMartin StarrSam ElliottA widow and former songstress discovers that life can begin anew at any age.Rated 1 of 10 - Older woman finds love with older man who dies. But she has a younger man she dates for some reason. Both rich of course.
- DirectorMichael ShowalterStarsSally FieldMax GreenfieldTyne DalyA self-help seminar inspires a sixty-something woman to romantically pursue her younger co-worker.Rated 1 of 10 - Older woman who fantasizes about having an affair with her new and 30 years younger boss.
- DirectorJustin ZackhamStarsRobert De NiroDiane KeatonKatherine HeiglA long-divorced couple fakes being married as their family unites for a wedding.All star cast of pretentious characters, none believable as their fame precedes them in a contrived and inane script. Are all rich families really this superficial, insincere and ostensible? Seeing Ana Ayora naked for a few seconds was the highlight of this film. 1/10
- DirectorSebastián LelioStarsJulianne MooreJohn TurturroCaren PistoriusA free-spirited woman in her 50s seeks out love at L.A. dance clubs.Lame story. Two divorcees who can't stop talking to their exes. Just bits and pieces of day to day boring life. Nothing funny, bad sing alongs. A Mostly crappy soundtrack. Seeing Gloria's tits raise it from a 2 to 3. Turturo added nothing. Neither character raised any emotion or made me feel sympathy. Rated 3/10
- DirectorBen FalconeStarsMelissa McCarthyMatt WalshMolly GordonAfter her husband abruptly asks for a divorce, a middle-aged mother returns to college in order to complete her degree.Rated 3 of 10 - No one believes a students mom can hang out with other dorm chicks of real college age, maybe as a mom they never had. Of course MM gets fixed up to be sexy and lands a a 20 year old college stud. Yeah, right. Some ok music and a few laughs are worth 2 points.
- DirectorMadeleine OlnekStarsMolly ShannonSusan ZieglerAmy SeimetzDramatization of the little known side of the writer Emily Dickinson's life, in particular, her relationship with another woman.Too much back and forth in time. Guess that was done to cover the boring lack of story. Basically just letters between Emily and friend Sue in young, medium, old and their post death age. No action or anything else going on except period costumes and estates. Quit watching after 30 minutes. 2/10
- DirectorNoah BaumbachStarsGreta GerwigMickey SumnerAdam DriverA New York woman apprentices for a dance company and throws herself headlong into her dreams, even as the possibility of realizing them dwindles.Rated 2 of 10 - Girl leaves home to make it as a dancer in NYC. She does not really have the skills to compete and doesn't really practice a lot either. Spends a lot of time laying around with her room mates, 2 guys and smoking weed. She is given a break on her share of the rent because she doesn't earn enough on her day job as a seamstress. Modern Love by David Bowie is worth the extra point.
- DirectorAnne BancroftStarsDom DeLuiseAnne BancroftRon CareyAn overweight bachelor is fat, 40 and fed up--to the gills--but when his obese cousin Sal dies at 39, he must finally come to terms with his own weight problem.Rated 1 of 10 - A fat guy wants to lose weight but can't stop eating. Who wants to see an entire movie where he suffers the whole time. I guess if you are an eataholic you could identify.
- DirectorJon FavreauStarsVince VaughnJon FavreauJoe GoossenTwo aspiring boxers, life-long friends, get involved in a money-laundering scheme through a low-level organized crime group.rated 2 of 10 - Nothing funny at all. Vince Vaughn is a stupid actor, John Faverau sucks too. Story is not even close to believable from a plot point of view. No one sends morons from LA to Ny to do mob business for a mere $200K. Puffy added nothing his and Peter Falk did not look like a mob guy.
- DirectorAnthony Michael HallStarsAnthony Michael HallBobbie PhillipsLeslie DanonAspiring rock star works in an eraser factory and falls for the owner's daughter. To win her, he bets her father he can earn $100k in six months.Rated 2 of 10 - AMH - still trying to be a teen but a tough guy too. Didn't work.
- DirectorPeyton ReedStarsJennifer AnistonVince VaughnJon FavreauA couple's break-up proceeds to get uglier and nastier by the moment as each tries to keep their luxurious condo from the other.Rated 2 of 10 - Just not a believable love story. JA getting rid of VV and attempting to reunite with no chemistry. Big ole glass eyed chubby VV couldn't ever get a woman like JA.
- DirectorBen YoungerStarsUma ThurmanMeryl StreepBryan GreenbergA career driven professional from Manhattan is wooed by a young painter, who also happens to be the son of her psychoanalyst.Rated 2 of 10 - Nothing funny here. Nothing new, older still sexy woman wants to get laid by younger horny man. Never mind all of the boring jew/catholic crap. Woman has money to live in over priced NYC and man sponges off grand parents. The soundtrack is awful unless your are one of those white people who pretends to like hip hop and jazz and sushi. His painting career was obviously a big fake and rewarded by other big fakers. Oh yeah, she goes to Paris, another romcom staple story line. Supposed to make you think romance. Love is from the heart, not the location.
- DirectorEdward BurnsStarsEdward BurnsJennifer AnistonJohn MahoneyThe love lives of two brothers, Mickey and Francis, interconnect as Francis cheats on his wife with Mickey's ex-girlfriend, while Mickey impulsively marries a stranger.Rated 2 of 10 - Zero funny dialog. Zero wisdom imparted. Zero entertainment. Just more NYC sleazy life style characters in over priced crappy apartments, except the Wall street brother. Not even slightly believable that a woman would get in a cab and ask the driver what is his deal. On the ride to the airport she decides to ask him to drive her to New Orleans. While there they get married. When he gets back, his brother gets PO'd because he wasn't asked to be best man. Meanwhile the brother is having an affair with cabbie's ex hooker girlfriend who is still one. Affair brother is married to Jennifer Aniston whom he won't have sex with despite her asking, begging because he wants to be true to hooker played by Caneron Diaz. Then there is the lie the 68 limo driver tells Wall St. brother that his wife likes his sexual performance now better than when he was 20. if she enjoys his limp biscuit, ok. The dad, John Mahoney, boat owner and mostly beer drinking fisherman's wife leaves him in the end for another hornoly old hardware store owner, can't fathom that idiotic part. The Tom Petty song Walls as closing sound track bumps my rating up a point.
- DirectorPeter BillingsleyStarsVince VaughnMalin AkermanJon FavreauA comedy centered around four couples who settle into a tropical-island resort for a vacation. While one of the couples is there to work on the marriage, the others fail to realize that participation in the resort's therapy sessions is not optional.PASS - Looks like another VV dud to avoid.
- DirectorAlex KendrickStarsRosetta Harris ArmstrongLisa ArnoldBlake BaileyA dishonest used-car salesman decides to become the salesman that God wants him to be--with surprising results.Rated 1 of 10 - DID NOT FINISH - Has a home made look to it, can't put my finger on the exact amateurism. The characters do not make me want to believe their plight or redemption. Maybe the intent was to tell a true story with a real family or actors who looked like those involved. Turned it off after 25 minutes into the 2 hour DVD.
- DirectorJim GoddardStarsSean PennMadonnaPaul FreemanShanghai, 1938: A missionary woman hires a fortune hunter to help her find 1100 lbs. opium lost, as wounded need the morphine. Adventure and romance follows.Rated 1 of 10 - Couldn't finish, too boring.
- DirectorClaire ScanlonStarsZoey DeutchGlen PowellLucy LiuTwo corporate executive assistants hatch a plan to match-make their two bosses.Rated 1 of 10 - FF through some of this drivel. About two different internet magazine editors being matched for dating. Worse than anything Hallmark has done.
- DirectorKenny OrtegaStarsDove CameronCameron BoyceBooboo StewartThe teenage son of the king and queen of Auradon offers the trouble-making children of villains a chance to attend prep school in the kingdom.What a hokey boat of malarky. All of the fairytale evil people have children. They want their children to carry on their evil legend. But a bunch of liberal morons in the good world want to allow the monster children in (all soap opera looking) so they can have a fair chance in the good world. Rated 1/10
- DirectorChristian-JaqueGuy CasarilStarsBrigitte BardotClaudia CardinaleMichael J. PollardOutlaw sisters in the old West inherit a ranch and try to settle down and develop relationships with neighboring family of lots of brothers.Poor plot and story line. Mixed subtitles, part in English and part in Italian. Lots of luscious chicks to look at, but there is much better porn. Nothing funny about this so called comedy. Rated 3/10
- DirectorEugenio MartínStarsTelly SavalasClint WalkerChuck ConnorsA double-cross in an arms deal prompts Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa to raid a US Army weapons depot in Columbus, New Mexico.Another western that claims to be comedy but is not. Very poor special effects as well, trains are obvious toys. Rated 2/10
- DirectorHarmony KorineStarsMatthew McConaugheySnoop DoggIsla FisherA rebellious stoner named Moondog lives life by his own rules.DVD - crappy story line, nothing funny about a total loser fupping everyone's life. Martin Lawrence was marginally funny. Snoop Dog added nothing. rating 2/10.
- DirectorJonathan DemmeStarsRobyn HitchcockDeni BonetTim KeeganIn this film, director Jonathan Demme documents a live performance by Robyn Hitchcock, an English singer-songwriter.DVD - Documentary - I did not like one single song on the entire film. I did watch it all but should be rated 1/10 maybe.
- CreatorPhoebe Waller-BridgeStarsJodie ComerSandra OhFiona ShawAfter a series of events, the lives of a security operative and an assassin become inextricably linked.Stopped watching after 2 eps of season 1. Sandra Oh is just too fat faced ugly to look at. The story is contrived and totally unbelievable and my suspension of disbelief was never activated. No rating issued.
- DirectorDaniel KwanDaniel ScheinertStarsPaul DanoDaniel RadcliffeMary Elizabeth WinsteadA hopeless man stranded on a deserted island befriends a dead body, and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.Pass - Had it checked out from library but couldn't force myself to watch another version of Weekend at Bernies. Plus I don't care for Daniel Radcliff post Harry Potter. And I really dislike Paul Dano. Something about looking at his face makes me cringe. No rating issued.
- DirectorSteve AndersonStarsJon FavreauJoey Lauren AdamsKelsey GrammerJohn Person is an actor with little work, and no money, who suddenly finds himself with an opportunity to make some quick cash by delivering a suitcase to the middle of nowhere.Started out ok but became confusing. Couldn't figure out what the ending was supposed to be. Maybe a rating of 3.
- DirectorDouglas McGrathStarsSarah Jessica ParkerPierce BrosnanKelsey GrammerA comedy centered on the life of Kate Reddy, a finance executive who is the breadwinner for her husband and two kids.She doesn't, that's how. SJP may be successful at work, but always gone and missing all of her daughter's school events. I don't recall laughing any time. I watched the entire movie. The dad did most of the child care while he looked for a job. When he got an interview, she was PO'd because he got a baby sitter while she was out of town. SJP's assistant seemed to be doing all of the real work for her. The stop and talk by her or friends about how great she is was annoying. The 4.5 rating it had when I saw it is too high.
- DirectorBlake RobbinsStarsBrad CarterMaika MonroeChaz WoodA young woman investigates the murder of her parents when rumors suggest the man convicted of the crime may not be the killer after all.No way is this a 5/10 film. Mediocre woman as main character and crumb grabber trailer trash drunkard mostly scummy male characters.
Boring scenes of family and as well as boring bits and scenes of ranching. The plot never develops. Just dopey woman asking various unexplained male characters if they thought someone named Billy was guilty or innocent. Never explained who Billy was or why he was disliked by Senior (Will Patton) and rest of family. Finally had to stop it after an hour. Maybe a 2/10 and that is a stretch. - DirectorJames P. LayStarsJackie KreislerShane ElliottJonathan BreckMeghan and Dylan are crossing the Nevada desert in an old car to visit her foster parents, and Meghan sees a little girl alone in the desert. They stop at the "Little A'Le'Inn" diner, a weird place decorated with alien motif, to eat a hamburger with milkshake and they have a conversation with the bartender Blake, who tells stories about UFOs. They leave the diner and they have to stop in the middle of nowhere due a car problem. Dylan faints and Meghan sees the little girl and ghost that tell her that they know who she is. Is Meghan losing her mind or are the weird events for real?Poor beginning and poor ending. Hard to believe I watched the entire film. Seemed to me like they were trying to make something along the lines of a John Lynch film, by that I mean the looping effect. They failed miserably. Lots of interjected bizarre characters without any explanation as to why. Attempts at suspense or horror simply did not work. By the way, Area-51 is in Roswell, New Mexico, not Nevada. Rated it 1/10.