Least Favorite Films
Work in progress...
What kind of person of the internet would I be if I didn't take a special opportunity to exemplify the things I disliked? In this case, these are a few of my least favorite films. I kinda intentionally refrained from using the word "worst" because that sounds a little strong. I mean, if for any reason you disagree with a certain film I've chosen, that's totally cool; however, I guess to insinuate that these films are the "worst" is kinda harsh (even if I might personally consider them to be). I tried to divide it into categories and, aside from my number one choice (which is my least favorite film of all time), this list is in order of:
1. Mainstream Films (or films attempting for "quality")
2. Children's Films (nothing worse than a terrible children's movie)
3. TV Movies
4. Z Movies
5. Z Horror Movies
What kind of person of the internet would I be if I didn't take a special opportunity to exemplify the things I disliked? In this case, these are a few of my least favorite films. I kinda intentionally refrained from using the word "worst" because that sounds a little strong. I mean, if for any reason you disagree with a certain film I've chosen, that's totally cool; however, I guess to insinuate that these films are the "worst" is kinda harsh (even if I might personally consider them to be). I tried to divide it into categories and, aside from my number one choice (which is my least favorite film of all time), this list is in order of:
1. Mainstream Films (or films attempting for "quality")
2. Children's Films (nothing worse than a terrible children's movie)
3. TV Movies
4. Z Movies
5. Z Horror Movies
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- DirectorJared HessStarsJon HederEfren RamirezJon GriesA listless and alienated teenager decides to help his new friend win the class presidency in their small western high school, while he must deal with his bizarre family life back home.My least favorite film of all time.
I remember when this came out, because it was pretty popular. I didn't get around to seeing it till about a year or two after it came out and, even then, it still was very much prominent within the realm of pop culture.
Long story short, this was the first film I saw that really made me want to be elsewhere in another dimension let's just say. I just remember basking in this awful feeling I had when the movie went off and thought to myself, "Wow, I just sat through that for nothing. My life would be better had I not endured that." Like, you always hear those jokes and remarks about how one could have done many other fulfilling, if mundane, things within the amount of time they spent watching a certain movie but, until the moment I first saw this film, I never understood it.
I remember going into the bathroom because I felt just so terrible from having endured the film and just needing a moment to process that.
I hated every single character. Their monotone, detached, but oh-so weird and quirky attributes in the world. I didn't care one bit about anything that happened and found everything to be annoying, unfunny, and a desperate attempt to pander to the lowest common denominator.
The cinematography is maybe the only possibly nice thing I could say about it and, even then, I find it to be pedantic and an attempt to make up for a non-existent story or sense of originality. - DirectorMarc WebbStarsZooey DeschanelJoseph Gordon-LevittGeoffrey ArendAfter being dumped by the girl he believes to be his soulmate, hopeless romantic Tom Hansen reflects on their relationship to try and figure out where things went wrong and how he can win her back.Part 1: Mainstream Films
And the award for most pretentious "indie" goes to... - DirectorJon LucasScott MooreStarsMiles TellerJustin ChonJonathan KeltzThe night before his big medical school interview, a promising student celebrates his 21st birthday with his two best friends.The whole time I was watching this, I was praying that the movie would end with the character dying of alcohol poisoning. But it never happened and, alas, we have this.
Literally every character in this film is an unlikable, terrible douchebag. - DirectorJohn R. LeonettiStarsWard HortonAnnabelle WallisAlfre WoodardA couple begins to experience terrifying supernatural occurrences involving a vintage doll shortly after their home is invaded by satanic cultists.In my opinion, The Conjuring was an overrated film. It was beautifully shot and made, don't get me wrong, but I don't know who died and decided that just because your film was a "ghost" or "haunted house" movie that it meant that it also had to be an exorcism one too? Anyway, beside the point, but the Annabelle part of The Conjuring was rather annoying and pointless - that is, until anybody watching realizes that it's just blatantly setting itself up for a sequel.
- DirectorBen StillerStarsJim CarreyMatthew BroderickLeslie MannA designer makes a grievious mistake when he rejects the friendship of a borderline cable guy.I love dark comedies. The problem with this film is that it does not know how to balance its genre. Does it want to be a dark comedy? Does it want to be a slapstick comedy? Turns out, it wants to be both and, in the case of this film, it is not able to have its cake and eat it too.
- DirectorTom BradyStarsDavid KoechnerRobert Ri'chardCarl WeathersA comedy that spoofs inspirational sports movies, this movie is about an out-of-luck coach who drives a rag-tag bunch of college misfits towards the football championship.I think "bad parodies" could be in a category of its own but, since it had the dishonor of invading out cinema screens, I find that to be a more appalling moniker.
- DirectorAaron SeltzerJason FriedbergStarsAlyson HanniganAdam CampbellFred WillardSpoof of romantic comedies which focuses on a man, his crush, his parents, and her father.
- DirectorRichard LinklaterStarsGreg KinnearBruce WillisCatalina Sandino MorenoWhen contaminated meat is placed in the freezer next to that used for a fast food chain's most famous sandwich, a marketing executive seeks to find out who did it and why, taking a journey through the dark side of American alimentation.Mostly just dull. I love Linklater but this is one that just really has no true value in existing, I think. It exists to exist
- DirectorWilliam MaloneStarsStephen DorffNatascha McElhoneStephen ReaA New York City detective investigates mysterious deaths occurring 48 hours after users log onto a site named feardotcom.God, I love it when horror films (namely supernatural/ paranormal ones) try so hard to been scary but fail so miserably.
Though, I confess, I did watch this one again recently and, while not as bad as I remember it being, I can't necessarily call it "good" either. I keep it in this list because I'm sure the fact that me and my best bud have a running joke of making fun of it and some scenes probably isn't what the filmmakers intended. - DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJared PadaleckiAmanda RighettiDerek MearsA group of young adults visit a boarded up campsite named Crystal Lake where they soon encounter the mysterious Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.
- DirectorPatricia BirchStarsMichelle PfeifferMaxwell CaulfieldLorna LuftA British student at a 1960s American high school must prove himself to the leader of a girls' gang whose members can only date greasers.I know Grease 2 has its fans. And that's fine. In some small way, I "get" its appeal. I dare say too that the reasons I personally find it unwatchable are the same reasons people like it. I get it. I get too liking something because it is a lesser version of a superior entity. For me, however, this one is definitely not a "cool rider."
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsScout Taylor-ComptonMalcolm McDowellTyler ManeAfter being committed for 15 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution and immediately returns to Haddonfield to find his baby sister, Laurie.Do I hate it as much as I did back then? No. Style wise, it had a nice feel. And Zombie himself absolutely does have talent. That said, I think it does b_stardize quite a lot of sacred things about the Halloween essence overall. I get wanting to do something different. I do. For me, Zombie's sleazy nature just isn't always a good fit and I just loathe how it takes literally the most cliched route possible to explain Michael's homicidal nature but then still want to play that "Michael is purely and simply" evil card. Nope.
- DirectorRick RosenthalStarsJamie Lee CurtisBusta RhymesBrad LoreeThree years after he last terrorized his sister, Michael Myers confronts her again, before traveling to Haddonfield to deal with the cast and crew of a reality show which is being broadcast from his old home.
- DirectorJoe ChappelleStarsDonald PleasencePaul RuddMarianne HaganSix years after Michael Myers last terrorized Haddonfield, he returns there in pursuit of his niece, Jamie Lloyd, who has escaped with her newborn child, for which Michael and a mysterious cult have sinister plans.To me, this film is the epitome of bad fan fiction. I know, I know, I know - it was a victim of studio interference. Frankly, the so-called better "producer's cut" sounds even worse and more bad fiction esque
- DirectorMichael TiddesStarsMarlon WayansEssence AtkinsMarlene ForteMalcolm and Kisha move into their dream home, then learn that a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm--determined to keep his sex life on track--turns to a priest, a psychic, and a ghostbusting team for help.
- DirectorDavid PalmerDax ShepardStarsDax ShepardKristen BellBradley CooperFormer getaway driver Charles Bronson jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charles' former gang chase them on the road.
- DirectorJoel CoenEthan CoenStarsGeorge ClooneyCatherine Zeta-JonesBilly Bob ThorntonMiles, a high-profile divorce lawyer, wins a case for his rich but adulterous client Rex Rexroth. But Rex's ex-wife, Marylin, who is no saint and is a gold-digger, plots to take revenge on Miles.
- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerKatie HolmesAl PacinoFamily guy, Jack Sadelstein, prepares for the annual event he always dreads--the Thanksgiving visit of his fraternal twin sister, the needy, and passive-aggressive Jill, who then refuses to leave.
- DirectorAlex ProyasStarsNicolas CageChandler CanterburyRose ByrneM.I.T. professor John Koestler links a mysterious list of numbers from a time capsule to past and future disasters and sets out to prevent the ultimate catastrophe.
- DirectorAndy MuschiettiStarsJessica ChastainNikolaj Coster-WaldauMegan CharpentierAfter a young couple take in their two nieces, they suspect that a supernatural spirit named Mama has latched onto their family.
- DirectorStephen KingStarsEmilio EstevezPat HingleLaura HarringtonA group of people try to survive when machines start to come alive and become homicidal.
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsSean MaguireKevin SorboCarmen ElectraA spoof of 300 (2006) and many other movies, TV series/shows/commercials, video games and celebrities. King Leonidas of Sparta and his army of 12 go to war against Xerxes of Persia to fight to the death for Sparta's freedom.
- DirectorNicholas StollerStarsSeth RogenRose ByrneZac EfronAfter they are forced to live next to a fraternity house, a couple with a newborn baby do whatever they can to take them down.
- DirectorUlrich SeidlStarsMargarete TieselPeter KazunguInge MauxTeresa, a fifty-year-old Austrian mother, travels to the paradise of the beaches of Kenya, seeking out love from African boys. But she must confront the hard truth that on the beaches of Kenya, love is a business.
- DirectorHenry JoostAriel SchulmanStarsChloe CsengeryJessica Tyler BrownChristopher Nicholas SmithIn 1988, young sisters Katie and Kristi befriend an invisible entity called Toby, who resides in their home.
- DirectorHenry JoostAriel SchulmanStarsStephen DunhamKatie FeatherstonMatt ShivelyIt has been five years since the disappearance of Katie and Hunter, and a suburban family witness strange events in their neighborhood when a woman and a mysterious child move in.By this point, the series just reaches a point of unintentional self-parody.
- DirectorAndy FickmanStarsKevin JamesRaini RodriguezEduardo VerásteguiAfter six years of keeping our malls safe, Paul Blart has earned a well-deserved vacation. He heads to Las Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But safety never takes a holiday and when duty calls, Blart answers.Believe it or not, the first five minutes of this film actually led me to believe that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad. It was all downhill from there.
- DirectorJoe BerlingerStarsJeffrey DonovanStephen Barker TurnerErica LeerhsenA group of tourists arrives in Burkittsville, Maryland after seeing The Blair Witch Project (1999) to explore the mythology and phenomenon, only to come face to face with their own neuroses and possibly the witch herself.
- DirectorGus Van SantStarsVince VaughnAnne HecheJulianne MooreA young female embezzler arrives at the Bates Motel, which has terrible secrets of its own.Yeah. Yeah. The whole artistic statement about how Van Sant purposely made a bad film to not overtrump the original. Blah Blah. Nice try, pretentious indie hipster, it's still a bad movie and a pointless effort in that there was no effort.
- DirectorTim StoryStarsIce CubeKevin HartTika SumpterSecurity guard Ben must prove himself to his girlfriend's brother, top police officer James. He rides along James on a 24-hour patrol of Atlanta.
- DirectorBaz LuhrmannStarsLeonardo DiCaprioClaire DanesJohn LeguizamoShakespeare's famous play is updated to the hip modern suburb of Verona still retaining its original dialogue.
- DirectorWallace WolodarskyStarsBarry WatsonHarland WilliamsMichael RosenbaumStrapped for cash, three fraternity playboys make one last attempt to live the high life - cheaply - by masquerading as girls. But their chauvinistic ways come back to haunt them as they get a crash course in the opposite sex.
- DirectorSean McNamaraStarsAnnaSophia RobbDennis QuaidHelen HuntBethany Hamilton, a professional surfer, loses her left arm in a shark attack. Unwilling to pay attention to the gravity of her situation, Bethany decides to get back into the ocean and surf again.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsSandra BullockJason PatricWillem DafoeA computer hacker breaks into the computer system of the Seabourn Legend cruise liner and sets it speeding on a collision course into a gigantic oil tanker.
- DirectorBen FalconeStarsMelissa McCarthySusan SarandonKathy BatesAfter getting fired and finding out that her husband is cheating, Tammy hits the road with her profane, alcoholic grandmother.
- DirectorJohn LuessenhopStarsAlexandra DaddarioTania RaymondeScott EastwoodA young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance. Little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.When I saw this shyte in theatres my only thought was: "How the hell did this movie make it to theatres?" The entire film reeks of direct-to-video quality.
- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerJohn TurturroEmmanuelle ChriquiAn Israeli Special Forces Soldier fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist.
- DirectorBrett ThompsonStarsMarc MartoranaTony DoyleR.A. MihailoffA scientist's kids are sucked into a TV screen and wind up in the Stone Age with cavemen and dinosaurs.And now we've entered the realm of bad children's movies...
- DirectorRobert RodriguezStarsCayden BoydGeorge LopezKristin DavisA young boy is recruited by his imaginary friends Sharkboy and Lavagirl to help save their planet.
- DirectorMike SouthonStarsDarren J. BirchChristopher BishopTyler BoissonnaultDisney serves up adventure with everyone's favorite golden retriever!
- DirectorBob ClarkStarsKathleen TurnerChristopher LloydKim CattrallScientists hold super intelligent talking babies captive, but things take a turn for the worse when a mix-up occurs between a baby genius and its twin.One of those movies you watched when you were a kid but then, as you got older, you realized it sucked.
- DirectorBob ClarkStarsJon VoightScott BaioVanessa AngelA group of smart-talking toddlers find themselves at the center of a media mogul's experiment to crack the code to baby talk. The toddlers must race against time for the sake of babies everywhere.
- DirectorDavid Mickey EvansStarsJudge ReinholdJulia SweeneyJoe PichlerThe Newton family from the first two Beethoven movies is on vacation in Europe, but they do plan to attend a Newton family reunion, and to make sure one of their family members definitely makes it, they ship him to travel to there with George's brother, Richard. Guess which one it was? That's right, Beethoven. He follows Richard and his family as they hit the road to California in a huge, shiny, and expensive RV, equipped with a DVD player. Following them are two bumbling crooks who have hidden some secret codes on a DVD that they figure no one in the world will buy, but someone does: Richard. So now they have a DVD holding top secret information, and the crooks must get it back.
- DirectorDavid Mickey EvansStarsJudge ReinholdJulia SweeneyJoe PichlerThe family is pleasantly surprised and puzzled when Beethoven suddenly becomes obedient. Turns out it's a prince and the pauper scenario, with the real Beethoven now living with a pompous rich family.
- DirectorBo WelchStarsMike MyersSpencer BreslinDakota FanningTwo bored children have their lives turned upside down when a talking cat comes to visit them.
- DirectorJohn KafkaStarsJennifer HaleRob PaulsenCorey BurtonJaq and Gus create a storybook based on three events that happened after the first film. The stories include Cinderella's opposition to the court's strict etiquette, Jaq's becoming human for a day, and Anastasia's redemption through love.Cinderella's overt optimism was always annoying and, in my honest opinion, she needed to be knocked down a few pegs anyway.
- DirectorPeter HastingsStarsHaley Joel OsmentDiedrich BaderCandy FordBeary Barrington goes on an adventure to save Country Bear Hall by getting the Country Bears back together for a reunion concert.
- DirectorTodd HollandStarsJosh HutchersonBruce GreenwoodBree TurnerRexxx, Hollywood's top canine star, gets lost and is adopted into a shabby firehouse. He teams up with a young kid to get the station back on its feet.
- DirectorRoger KumbleStarsBrendan FraserBrooke ShieldsRicky GarciaIn the Oregon wilderness, a real-estate developer's new housing subdivision faces a unique group of protestors: local woodland creatures who don't want their homes disturbed.
- 1997–20231h 24mNot Rated2.6 (40K)TV EpisodeDirectorRod DanielStarsFrench StewartErick AvariBarbara BabcockAmidst his parents' impending divorce, Kevin McCallister must foil his old nemesis Marv and his wife Vera's plot to kidnap a Crown Prince.I admit, this is one of those movies that's so bad it's fascinating to me. Like, I totally "hate-watch" it every Christmas
- DirectorKelly SandefurStarsCarlos AlazraquiElliot PageVince CorazzaYoung Halloween buff accidentally downloads recently deceased stand-up comic, who ends up helping her foil two bumbling crooks, as well as finishing her haunted house.Is...is that...Elliot Page!? Not a good movie, but I do watch it every Halloween because, as bad as it is, it's cool to see him - a great actor - in both an early role and in such a goofy kid's movie made for, like, 6 year olds.
- DirectorChris WedgeCarlos SaldanhaStarsDenis LearyJohn LeguizamoRay RomanoThe story revolves around sub-zero heroes: a woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed tiger, a sloth and a prehistoric combination of a squirrel and rat, known as Scrat.
- DirectorPerry Andelin BlakeStarsDana CarveyJennifer EspositoHarold GouldAn Italian waiter fights off a criminal mastermind with his inherited powers of disguise.One of those movies that everyone my age thought was so funny.
- DirectorFred Olen RayStarsHannes JaenickeMary Elizabeth McGlynnHarrison MyersEccentric inventor Prof. John Richards seems to have hit pay dirt when he designs a contraption which can move large objects instantly by breaking them into atoms which can be streamed from one place to another. This new machine seems like a sure-fire hit, which has attracted the attention of Richards' less-than-scrupulous assistant Martin, who wants to steal the new invention and sell it himself. In order to make it easier for Martin to do just that, he uses the machine to create a duplicate of Richards, which will do his evil bidding. The professor's son, Jack, and wife, Barbara, learn about Martin's underhanded doings, and Barbara uses another one of her husband's gimmicks to get revenge against Martin -- she turns herself invisible.I admit, I only saw this film as a joke. I mean, look at that cover! The joke was on me, however, because literally nothing on the cover appears in the film. Nothing.
- DirectorRichard CorrellStarsMadison PettisSterling BeaumonLuke BenwardAfter discovering a pair of young ghosts, a nebbish 11-year-old agrees to help the sibling spirits solve the mystery surrounding their demise.
- DirectorRob ReinerStarsElijah WoodBruce WillisJason AlexanderSick of the neglect he receives from his mom and dad, a young boy leaves home and travels the world in search of new parents.I of course - like many - learned of this movie through Roger Ebert's infamous review. Caught it coming on TV one day and decided to witness it. I remember at first being like, "Eh, OK, it's not good, but it's not as bad as they made it out to be. It's not meant to be taken so seriously." But then it just gradually got worse and, by the end, I was like, "Oh, yeah, I get it now."
- DirectorRoger AllersJill CultonAnthony StacchiStarsAshton KutcherMartin LawrenceDebra MessingBoog, a domesticated 900lb. Grizzly bear, finds himself stranded in the woods 3 days before Open Season. Forced to rely on Elliot, a fast-talking mule deer, the two form an unlikely friendship and must quickly rally other forest animals if they are to form a rag-tag army against the hunters.
- DirectorDavid JacksonStarsSara PaxtonJudith HoagLucas GrabeelMarnie and Dylan are going to follow their dreams to go to college, at Halloweentown University, which is also known as Witch University.
- DirectorChris WedgeCarlos SaldanhaStarsEwan McGregorHalle BerryMel BrooksIn a robot world, a young idealistic inventor travels to the big city to join his inspiration's company, only to find himself opposing its sinister new management.
- DirectorMichael LembeckStarsTim AllenMartin ShortElizabeth MitchellSanta, a.k.a. Scott Calvin, is faced with double-duty: how to keep his new family happy and how to stop Jack Frost from taking over Christmas.
- DirectorRaja GosnellStarsFreddie Prinze Jr.Sarah Michelle GellarMatthew LillardThe Mystery Inc. gang must save Coolsville from an attack of their past monsters brought to life by an evil masked figure trying to take down the gang.
- DirectorDavid L. CunninghamStarsAlexander LudwigIan McShaneChristopher EcclestonA boy's life is turned upside down when he learns that he is the last of a group of immortal warriors who have dedicated their lives to fighting the forces of the dark.
- DirectorJonathan R. BetuelStarsWhoopi GoldbergArmin Mueller-StahlJuliet LandauIn an alternate futuristic society, a tough female police detective is paired with a talking dinosaur to find the killer of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals leading them to a mad scientist bent on creating a new Armageddon.
- DirectorBritt AllcroftStarsAlec BaldwinCody McMainsRussell MeansThomas the Tank Engine searches for gold dust that will allow his magical friend Mr. Conductor to return home, while also helping a girl restore her grandfather's enchanted locomotive.
- DirectorFrederik Du ChauStarsPeter DinklageJason LeeAmy AdamsA Beagle must use his newly-bestowed superpowers to defend Capitol City from mad scientist Simon Barsinister.
- DirectorMichael SalomonStarsToby KeithRodney CarringtonClaire ForlaniTwo best friends work together as deputies in a small town. The two defy the Sheriff and head off on an outrageous road trip to save the protagonist's girlfriend from drug lord kidnappers.
- DirectorTom McLoughlinStarsJeremy SumpterLyndsy FonsecaJohn RobinsonA high school kid (Sumpter) develops an addiction to Internet porn so intense that it begins to destroy his life and tear his family apart.Lifetime movie about porn. Need I say more????
"Internet pornography DESTROYED my marriage!" - DirectorCharles BinaméStarsEmily OsmentKay PanabakerMeaghan RathA teenager is subjected to a campaign of bullying by classmates through a social networking site.Hilariously melodramatic. "I can't get the cap off!"
- DirectorJohn ShepphirdStarsShelley LongRobert HaysStacy KeachA community has mixed feelings over Santa's permanent residence in their small town.
- DirectorMark QuodStarsDaryl HannahKirsten ZienChloe BridgesA student's chances of getting into a good college hang in the balance when inappropriate photos of her are posted on the Internet.
- DirectorDavid ZuckerStarsKevin P. FarleyKelsey GrammerLeslie NielsenAn anti-American filmmaker who's out to abolish the July Fourth holiday is visited by three ghosts who try to change his perception of the country.
- DirectorDavid HillenbrandScott HillenbrandStarsTatyana AliBoti BlissGable CarrSet during a crazy afternoon in the lives of a dozen college students at a co-ed dorm that starts with the arrival of two very different women with the same name of Dominique.
- DirectorAdam Jay EpsteinAndrew JacobsonStarsFrankie MunizMichael CeraAshley SchneiderA sketch-comedy movie about the joys and embarrassments of teen sex. But mostly the embarrassments.
- DirectorAlex KendrickStarsAlex KendrickShannen FieldsJason McLeodA losing coach and his underdog football team face their giants of fear and failure on and off the field, with surprising results.Nothing against Christians or their religion, but this film sucked.
- DirectorLarry BishopStarsLarry BishopDennis HopperMichael MadsenTwo rival bikers gangs, the Victors and the Six-Six-Six's, refuel their decades-old rivalry.Honestly, one of the worst films I've ever seen - and I mean that in the sense that, if I had to truly rank these films, this film would probably crack the Top 10.
- DirectorJorge Cervera Jr.StarsRenee AllmaGloria AndreaCarlos ArauJulio is a small boy in Mexico who loses his mother. As she is dying, she promises him that she will send him an angel to take care of him. He is put in an orphanage that is nothing more than a work house. Julio escapes and meets up with some street-wise kids and they go around stealing wallets and purses from the tourists around town. Julio is remembering his mother's promise while praying at the church and a man appears as he is leaving. The man's name is Angel. Julio begins to follow Angel around and eventually they become friends and Julio moves in with Angel. Meanwhile, the owners of the orphanage are looking for Julio and continue to search for him throughout the movie. During Day of the Dead festival, Angel teaches Julio how to honor the dead as they honor Angel's wife. She has no gravestone, but they outline her grave with candles and play her favorite music. Finally, Julio convinces Angel to arrange an "escape" of his friends at the orphanage in order to take them to the Christmas fair. While having fun at the fair, the orphanage owner catches up with Julio and threatens to take him back to the orphanage. Angel comes to his rescue, and in the ensuing fight, Angel is stabbed with a knife. In the final scene 10 years later, Julio, who is now a soldier, visits the grave of Angel. Julio remembers him with candles, lavish gravestone and the music that Angel played for his wife.aka "Julio and His Angel." Had to watch it in Spanish class in high school.
- DirectorJay LowiStarsSerah D'LaineBrad JohnsonMichael MantellTwo young women will stop at nothing for one to gain a $4 million inheritance of two priceless diamonds, while two detectives try to thwart their plans, but find complications abound.
- DirectorDavid BrooksStarsAlice EveJosh PeckBrian GeraghtyOn a late night visit to an ATM, three co-workers end up in a desperate fight for their lives when they become trapped by an unknown man.We've now ventured into the "Z-Grade" horror movie sections. It's often times the easiest to pick-on horror movies, but these make it too easy to do so.
ATM...
Wow. Never have I been so angry when watching a horror movie. I loved "Buried" and I love love love horror movies where people are trapped in one primary location. Also, I'm not one to talk back to the screen or criticize the actions of people in horror movies. For ATM, I tried to bite my tongue for the first half of the film but, after a certain point, it seemed like the writer(s) weren't even trying anymore so I figured why should I? Wow. What an infuriatingly terrible horror film.
Somebody on another website said that "ATM" was a slap in the face to every great unproduced screenplay out there. I couldn't agree more. - DirectorJames NguyenStarsAlan BaghWhitney MooreTippi HedrenA horde of mutated birds descends upon the quiet town of Half Moon Bay, California. As the death toll rises, two citizens manage to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic?Yeah. It's hilariously bad but I must say that, in the case of this film, it doesn't exactly always make for an entertaining watch. Not alone anyway.
- DirectorUlli LommelStarsElissa DowlingSutton ChristopherChristian BehmThree psychopaths go on a killing spree, recreating the Black Dahlia murder.From Ulli Lommel - the master of cheap bargain bin horror crap.
- DirectorRichard ValentineStarsKim TylerMatt BorlenghiDanni RavdenWhen a group of psychiatric hospital nurses invoke the spirit of Bloody Mary-a supposed urban myth-the slaughter begins. First, a young nursing assistant disappears, her body never found. Now, patients are turning up dead-battered beyond recognition, soaked in blood, their eyes ripped out. Mary's wrath has begun. Freed from her eternal prison behind the mirror's reflection, she unleashes a murderous, maniacal fury upon the asylum. Moving at will through mirrors, she strikes when her victims are unsuspecting, defenseless, and alone. Bloody Mary's legend is real, her vengeance is fatal, and to free her, all you have to do is say her name.If I produce offspring, I'm going to tell my child 3 things:
1. Do whatever makes you happy.
2. Always be your best friend
3. Never buy horror movies that came in a $5 multi-pack with others. Odds are, there's a reason for it.
Needless to say, this one did and I guess, for that same mentality, I knew what I was getting into. I remember there being something about an abandoned hospital and how it opens with this bitchy sorority girl instructing this girl to "take off [her] f_cking clothes" and go down there or something. - DirectorEduardo QuirozJose QuirozStarsTodd BridgesJose RoseteVictor ZaragozaA clan of vampires has just moved into the neighborhood, and college student Tom accidentally discovers his new neighbors' secret. When the vampires find out that Tom knows, he must do whatever he can to survive. His two roommates, a horror fan and a skeptic, join him with the help of a private investigator, who's had a run-in with these bloodsuckers before. Together they join forces to stop the bloody, fanged carnage before it's too late! With a fast-paced punk-rock soundtrack and non-stop gore, The Damned will have you afraid to blink!
- DirectorDario PianaStarsMike VogelJaime MurrayChristina ColeAn all-American guy is murdered each day by horrifying pursuers, only to wake up in slightly different lives to experience the terror of being murdered again.
- DirectorSteve CohenStarsRose McGowanAlex McArthurPeg ShirleyShe's young, sexy and dangerous. Debbie is the new girl in class with a skill for turning heads. From the moment she arrives in town following her parents' untimely death, Debbie sets her sights on her teacher, the high school heartthrob.I rather tend to like, or at least, appreciate these late 90s horror/ thriller movies. I don't know. Something about them and their production quality that I just find interesting. Anyway, the First half of this movie was hilarious, if unintentional. I guess I'm a mean person because, from personal experience, I find religious abuse to be entertaining and kind of funny. When the Jesus freak grandma wakes up her granddaughter in the wee-hours of the morning to clean her attic, I nearly pissed myself laughing. Once Granny goes, so does the film. Then it just becomes this annoying Fatal Attraction wannabe.
- DirectorRobert HammerStarsJames WestmorelandBen FrankFlo LawrenceA deeply disturbed Vietnam veteran terrorizes the young women of Los Angeles and taunts a radio psychologist with descriptions of his grisly crimes.Shoddy b-movie. I laughed hysterically when he has this victim tied up for like a photoshoot or something. And she goes, "Hey, can you untie me?" And he's like "fine" and acts like he's looking for the key for seriously a millisecond and then he just forces himself on her and the acting and spotting is so bad.
- DirectorUlli LommelStarsGeorge KiseleffJacquelyn AuroraGeorgie DonovanAlong twenty years, the deranged serial-killer Gary Ridgway has killed at least forty-eight prostitutes and dumped their bodies in Green River.God awful but rather funny. One of my best friends despises this movie, but we have so much making fun of it - if only to have to avoid a therapy bill. The whole first 15 some odd minutes when he takes that prostitute home is just gold in terms of being so hilarious because it's awful.
"I have to take a sh!t first, is that okay? ... Wanna wipe my ass? You can if you like..." Pure Shakespearee. And the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay goes to... - DirectorAnthony HickoxStarsTerry FarrellDoug BradleyKevin BernhardtAn investigative reporter must send the newly unbound Pinhead and his legions back to Hell.One October I was going to make it my goal to watch all the Hellraiser movies. After I had to make myself finish this one - the last Hellraiser movie to go to theatres - I decided that I would not be watching the rest.
- DirectorSylvain WhiteStarsBrooke NevinDavid PaetkauTorrey DeVittoA group of teenagers in Colorado find themselves being stalked and killed one by one by a mysterious figure with a hook, exactly one year after they covered up a friend's accidental death.It's one thing to have a hilariously bad photo-shopped cover, but the movie. Ugh. Why does this exist? Direct-to-video horror at its worst (or best?)
- DirectorTammi SuttonStarsAustin PriesterWayland Geremy BoydBobby MarsdenEn route to a run-down shelter they are set to renovate as community service, a group of juvenile delinquents and the two chaperones accompanying them run into a minor set-back when their bus breaks down. When trying to find a phone, one of the teens is shot, and the group finds shelter with a voodoo priestess. While trying to use voodoo to save their friend, two of the teens accidentally unleash the evil spirit known as Killjoy.Don't get me wrong - all the Killjoy movies are trash to some degree and I almost put them all on here. However, the first one is so bad that I actually really enjoy it for that reason and, since the 3rd one is a straight-up comedy, I guess Killjoy 2 can be the lamb sent out for the slaughter.
- DirectorPeter Ily HuemerStarsUma ThurmanPaul DillonPaul RichardsA popular woman who enjoys her nights on the town gets more than she bargained for when a stalker murders a loved one and begins hunting her down.There's a reason I was able to buy this at a Dollar Tree for $1 and, even then, it wasn't worth it.
- DirectorWilliam GibsonStarsWilliam SmithPeter BrownAhna CapriWildlife photographer Terry and her brother Art go to Venezuela for a photo shoot. They hire Jim Pendrake to guide them through the jungle. However, the trio run afoul of evil local hunter Caribe.No...not THAT Piranha.
Just so boring and pointless. Pretty sure, if I remember correctly, piranhas don't even show up till, like, the last few minutes of the film. - DirectorEdward D. Wood Jr.StarsGregory WalcottTom KeeneMona McKinnonEvil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" into action. As the aliens resurrect the dead of the Earth, the lives of the living are in danger.
- DirectorJohn ShibanStarsJaimie AlexanderMichael ChildersJennifer CormackThe film follows Nicole Carrow, a young woman who is threatened by a maniac serial killer, after her boyfriend Jess, is abducted in a rest stop.
- DirectorShawn PapazianStarsKelly AlbaneseMichael ChildersBrionne DavisThree friends embark on a trip to track down Nicole and her boyfriend, and they quickly find out that the mystery is stranger and scarier than they imagined.
- DirectorTommy WiseauStarsTommy WiseauJuliette DanielleGreg SesteroIn San Francisco, an amiable banker's seemingly perfect life is turned upside down when his deceitful fiancée embarks on an affair with his best friend.
- DirectorLee HarryStarsEric FreemanJames NewmanElizabeth KaitanThe now-adult Ricky talks to a psychiatrist about how he became a murderer after his brother, Billy, died, which leads back to Mother Superior.
- DirectorDavid DeCoteauStarsShanley CaswellMaureen McCormickEric RobertsA troubled teenage girl finds herself in a web of lies and deceit when her stepmother attempts to murder her by sending her to a discipline camp.
- DirectorJeff C. SmithStarsJovan MeredithAshley SchneiderDevin MarbleIt's the 1980's and a group of typical horror movie high school kids are getting together to hold a séance in a haunted house. Naturally, people start dying preposterously bloody deaths, girls are getting naked for no apparent reason and people walk into pitch black rooms and say things like "Is someone in here?" Will any of these poor, hapless kids survive? Or will their bodies fill the house with blood and...well, you know!
- DirectorJonathan LiebesmanStarsJordana BrewsterMatt BomerDiora BairdBefore being sent to serve in Vietnam, two brothers and their girlfriends take one last road trip, but when they get into an accident, a terrifying experience will take them to a secluded house of horrors, with a chainsaw-wielding killer.
- DirectorIgor ShavlakStarsSvetlana MetkinaDmitriy OrlovAleksandr VysokovskiyA perfect bank heist turns deadly when the robbers and their hostages flee to the abandoned underground subway station where they encounter the Trackman, a deformed madman that prowls the darkness.