Every Horror Film I Can Remember Seeing
This is an ongoing list of horror films that I can remember seeing, updated as I see them (or remember something previously forgotten). Included is a short paragraph or two long review and a 1-5 star rating of each.
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- DirectorWes CravenStarsHeather LangenkampJohnny DeppRobert EnglundTeenager Nancy Thompson must uncover the dark truth concealed by her parents after she and her friends become targets of the spirit of a serial killer with a bladed glove in their dreams, in which if they die, it kills them in real life.What else is there to really say that hasn't been said a million times before? It's a classic and forever will be. Excellent performances, very strong pacing, good effects work and just a truly clever and memorable piece of horror fiction. 4/5 stars.
- DirectorJack SholderStarsRobert EnglundMark PattonKim MyersA teenage boy is haunted in his dreams by deceased child murderer Freddy Krueger, who is out to possess him in order to continue his reign of terror in the real world.Homosexual allegories and theories aside, this film really is pretty mediocre. It has its moment, though, which is probably better than what most say about it...Englund understands Freddy very well and manages to get through this film with dignity intact, which is no small feat. 2/5 stars.
- DirectorChuck RussellStarsHeather LangenkampRobert EnglundCraig WassonA psychiatrist familiar with knife-wielding dream demon Freddy Krueger helps teens at a mental hospital battle the killer who is invading their dreams.This film walks a really great line between outright silly and actually having a sense of weight. Most of the elements work really well: it's a good script built around a simple and straightforward story, characters who can be archetypes without being caricatures and a cast capable of bringing them to life. 3/5 stars.
- DirectorRenny HarlinStarsRobert EnglundRodney EastmanJohn BeckmanFreddy Krueger returns once again to terrorize the dreams of the remaining Dream Warriors, as well as those of a young woman who may be able to defeat him for good.My ultimate guilty pleasure movie. My crush on Andras Jones' hair is well documented among those who know me. Add to that that actress Lisa Wilcox was my very first 13 year old celebrity crush and you have perhaps the most watched film on this entire list. It's simple, it's a little silly, but it's imaginative, visually arresting, and filled with interesting and engaging characters (even if they exist for an absurdly short amount of time), and excellent performances. Plus, it never ceases to make me happy on a personal note. I love this film. 3/5 stars.
- DirectorStephen HopkinsStarsRobert EnglundLisa WilcoxKelly Jo MinterThe pregnant Alice finds Freddy Krueger striking through the sleeping mind of her unborn child, hoping to be reborn into the real world.It's a really rushed film on the page and in the sense of direction: Hopkins handles the effects stuff well, though, and most of the film has some astonishingly excellent visuals. Lisa Wilcox returns, which makes me very happy. 2.5/5 stars.
- DirectorRachel TalalayStarsRobert EnglundLisa ZaneShon GreenblattDream-haunting Freddy Krueger returns once again to prowl the nightmares of Springwood's last surviving teenager, and of a woman whose personal connection to Krueger may mean his doom.Way too silly to be scary, too stupid to be funny...other than the cast seeming pretty damned committed, this movie seems to fail on every conceivable level. There's some good effects work, too, I suppose, though it's undermined by the cartoonish violence and incessant mugging for the camera. And Dream Demons. *beep* dream demons. 2/5 stars.
- DirectorWes CravenStarsHeather LangenkampRobert EnglundJf DavisA demonic force has chosen Freddy Krueger as its portal to the real world. Can Heather Langenkamp play the part of Nancy one last time and trap the evil trying to enter our world?It's very 90's, and that can't be helped, but it really is an incredibly intelligent examination of not just the "Nightmare" series, but of the very essence of fiction. It's ambitious as all hell, and no matter what its failings (and there aren't that many, really), it's pretty successful in that goal. 3.5/5 stars.
- DirectorRonny YuStarsRobert EnglundKen KirzingerKelly RowlandFreddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize the teenagers of Elm Street. Only this time, they're out to get each other, too.Both series are known primarily for excess and insanity, and Freddy Vs.Jason brings both in a big way. The titular characters are well utilized and formed, even if fans might complain that Freddy still isn't "dark" enough(despite his highly pronounced sexual deviancy), with Jason getting more of the characterization(even getting a bit of heroism attached to him in the end, which does work out well enough under the circumstances-compared to Freddy, Jason is a pretty nice guy). It may have benefited from being played a little more straight but, considering it was a miracle that it was even made let alone watchable, it's a pretty solid love-letter to the respective franchises. 3/5 stars.
- DirectorSamuel BayerStarsJackie Earle HaleyRooney MaraKyle GallnerThe spectre of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him, stalking and killing them in their dreams.It's not a great film, but for what it is...well, this isn't so bad a film. I'd argue that it's actually quite good when it's being allowed to do what it wants to, which is be it's own film. The Nightmare sequences, performance ques and dialogue that isn't ripped from the original series mostly are pretty well done. The film does get too "dark" for it's own good, though: too often does it get carried away in trying to be edgy to the point of no longer being any fun whatsoever. Seeing a young woman weep over finding nude photos of her five year old self really isn't the kind of thing a film about a dream monster with knife fingers should probably be about. Between that and awkward fan service moments, things never quite reach the heights they probably should. Still, enough of it is decent enough that it's not a total loss. 2.5/5 stars.
- DirectorSean S. CunninghamStarsBetsy PalmerAdrienne KingJeannine TaylorA group of teenage camp counselors attempt to re-open an abandoned summer camp with a tragic past, but they are stalked by a mysterious, relentless killer.It's a little strange that this film was so successful, really. It's not particularly good. It's bloody, though, and maybe that's all it took. Right place, right time I suppose. The third act is particularly ferocious, which I suppose was also pretty new at the time, and probably left a good memory in the minds of audiences. 3/5
- DirectorSteve MinerStarsBetsy PalmerAmy SteelJohn FureyFive years after the events of the first film, a summer camp next to the infamous Camp Crystal Lake is preparing to open, but the legend of Jason is weighing heavy on the proceedings.There isn't much to think about, really. It's a pretty run-of-the-mill slasher film, even if those weren't necessarily a thing yet. Amy Steele makes a good if not underdeveloped "final girl"but that's about it. That being said, it isn't really a BAD film. It's not poorly made or anything, it just...well, it is just is. 2/5
- DirectorSteve MinerStarsDana KimmellTracie SavageRichard BrookerJason Voorhees stalks a group of friends who have just arrived to spend the weekend at a cabin near Crystal Lake.Well, again, considering it's basically the same as the previous films, it's hard to do any real analysis of it. It exists, it isn't terrible, it mostly is just a string of kills performed on a largely interchangeable cast. There's a little more character laced in-Shelley has some stuff to do, and Chris has her "trauma"-but there still isn't much in the way of writing. It is what it is, and what it is isn't terrible. 2/5
- DirectorJoseph ZitoStarsErich AndersonJudie AronsonPeter BartonAfter being announced dead and taken to a morgue, Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives, escapes from the hospital, and stalks a group of friends renting a house in the countryside near Crystal Lake.There are two films happening here. Movie A has Trish and Tommy, their Mother and The Bear Hunter dealing with Jason. Movie B is the usual movie with Jason wiping out a dozen or so teens in various ways. They merge in and out with each other, but it still feels like there were two movies going on. Movie A was much more subtle: there was some attempt at character development, a family unit that could have been fleshed out in any other horror film, and an outside force looking to disrupt their tenuous relationship. Movie B was the norm. No need for any subtlety, just hack and slash. I almost wonder what Movie A could have been if given the entire running time and some actual focused writing. 3/5
- DirectorDanny SteinmannStarsMelanie KinnamanJohn ShepherdAnthony BarrileStill haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis, who, as a child, killed Jason Voorhees, is sent to a secluded halfway house in the countryside, where the killing of a young man triggers a brutal series of murders in the area.It's a wonderful bad movie, no doubt about it. It's filled with a great deal of over-the-top silliness and deranged performances, and it's so entertaining while being a big giant mess. Like I said before, there is some actual intelligence to the film's conception even though it's awkward in practice. If nothing else, it's worth it as a fun bad movie. Also, goth chick doing the robot to Psuedo Echo's "His Eyes," and a man named Demon getting killed in an outhouse. 2/5
- DirectorTom McLoughlinStarsThom MathewsJennifer CookeDavid KagenTommy Jarvis exhumes Jason Voorhees to cremate his corpse, but inadvertently brings him back to life instead. The newly revived killer seeks revenge, and Tommy may be the only one who can stop him.It's probably the cutest installment of the series. It's not the best, but the comedy element does add something to the mostly by-the-numbers entries that were the series hallmark. Thom Matthews and Jennifer Cooke are charming enough leads-at the very least we get a sense of personality from them-and there's some cute dialogue. The sheriff is a fun character, too, and I'm always glad to see a normal human get a few shots off on supernatural opponents. 3/5
- DirectorJohn Carl BuechlerStarsTerry KiserJennifer BankoJohn OtrinJason Voorhees is accidentally freed from his watery prison by a telekinetic teenager. Now, only she can stop him.Another really strange selection of characters and situations permeate this whole film, especially when you consider the fact that the "final girl" is a telekinetic. Despite being one of the silliest in terms of plot, the strangeness of the whole thing actually makes it work far better than it should. 3/5
- DirectorRob HeddenStarsJensen DaggettKane HodderTodd CaldecottJason Voorhees is accidentally awakened from his watery grave and ends up stalking a ship full of graduating high-school students headed to Manhattan, New York.Toxic Waste and Heroine-sharing Muggers. Only in the idiotic fever dream of a writer's version of New York! At least the Dog survived, with his spiffy little bandana intact. The gimmick of Jason-on-a-boat/Jason-in-the-city are well intentioned enough, even if they aren't super interesting or well handled but...it's a thing, and at least they tried to do something to keep the franchise afloat. 2/5
- DirectorAdam MarcusStarsJohn D. LeMayKari KeeganKane HodderSerial killer Jason Voorhees' supernatural origins are revealed.This movie at least has the guts to try something different with a worn out franchise. It doesn't all work-far from it-but there's enough fun to make it stand out and be actually entertaining. It's spirited and committed, which is more than I can say for most of the franchise. 3/5
- DirectorJames IsaacStarsKane HodderLexa DoigJeff GeddisJason Voorhees is cryogenically frozen at the beginning of the 21st century, and is discovered in the 25th century and taken to space. He gets thawed, and begins stalking and killing the crew of the spaceship that's transporting him.It's stupid, it's fun, it has some nice performances and a lot of heart, but not a lot of brains. But, honestly, that former part really puts it above a lot of other entries in the franchise. So, good on you, Jason X. 3/5
- DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJared PadaleckiAmanda RighettiDerek MearsA group of young adults visit a boarded up campsite named Crystal Lake where they soon encounter the mysterious Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.Well, as remakes go, this isn't so horrible. Padalecki and Panabaker do well with their roles, as do some of the other cast (the ones who have more to do than just stand around, have sex or go water-skiing), the depiction of Jason is reasonably well done. I think more of the blame for the weaknesses falls on Platinum Dunes, who can't help but get in their own way with these gritty reboots. Honestly, if there was one actual character trait for the series it was that it never took itself too seriously and yet somehow this remake was so very into being a straight slasher flick...the trouble is, we've done that before. There must have been a way to find a balance, but Platinum Dunes so frequently seems to mis-read it's audience. 2.5/5
- DirectorDario ArgentoStarsJessica HarperStefania CasiniFlavio BucciAn American newcomer to a prestigious German ballet academy comes to realize that the school is a front for something sinister amid a series of grisly murders.Quite possibly one of my favorite horror flicks ever. The opening sequence is probably the most beautiful horror film sequence ever filmed, and the rest of it is -while occasionally somewhat hard to follow- a really fun piece of surrealist filmmaking with some really effective moments. One of the classics. 4.5/5
- DirectorDario ArgentoStarsLeigh McCloskeyIrene MiracleEleonora GiorgiAn American student investigates the disappearance of his sister and the death of a friend, both connected from New York to Rome by an old alchemy book.While not up to par with "Suspiria", this sequel still has some fun moments. Argento still fills the whole thing with highly energetic visuals and a good, strong pace. It just isn't as good. 3.5/5
- DirectorDario ArgentoStarsAsia ArgentoCristian SolimenoAdam JamesAn American art student in Rome accidentally triggers the return of Mater Lachrymarum - the Third Mother - and must use her latent magical powers to end the witch's reign of terror.Highly mediocre finish to Argento's "Three Mothers" trilogy with his only moderately talented daughter Asia in the starring role. No doubt she's easy on the eyes, but most of the usually beautiful and interesting horror sequences Argento usually fills his films with are now unintentionally hilarious. As such, the film isn't all that great. 2.5/5
- DirectorClive BarkerStarsAndrew RobinsonClare HigginsAshley LaurenceA woman discovers the newly resurrected, partially formed, body of her brother-in-law and lover. She starts killing for him to revitalize his body and escape the demonic beings that are pursuing him after he escaped their underworld.It's a spirited but sometimes amateurish and messy piece. It has extraordinary visuals and some real dramatic flare, but it can't help that Barker was just a tad under-experienced. Taken as it's own thing, and understood as a piece of bizarre self-indulgence and emotional expression, it's a very fascinating and entertaining piece of work. 3.5/5.
- DirectorTony RandelStarsDoug BradleyAshley LaurenceClare HigginsKirsty is brought to an institution after the horrible events of Hellraiser (1987), where the occult-obsessive head doctor resurrects Julia and unleashes the Cenobites and their demonic underworld.Despite a somewhat frustrating ending, Hellbound offers some great moments and some really intelligent and thought-provoking themes and motifs throughout. A few minor, but fascinating literary references, some fun fairy tale motifs, a boatload of excellent visuals, interesting characters...and very little plot. The good that it offers far outweighs the bad. To think, I hesitated. 3/5